Phantasmagoria
by MindTrash
Summary: Two realities; the world of shinobi, and the insane asylum start to collide when Gaara dreams. However, the asylum is starting to break him down when he finds himself trapped in a phantasmagoria of trauma, fantasies, secrets, and the beautiful Dr.Haruno, who carries a darkness of her own.
1. Chapter 1

**phan·tas·ma·go·ri·a**

 **ˌfanˌtazməˈɡôrēə/**

 **noun**

 **a sequence of real or imaginary images like those seen in a dream.**

"Tick...tick...tick...ti-"

A clock was ticking.

Somewhere in this sterile therapy room a clock was ticking away. Time was flowing for everyone except the redhead laying on the tan chaise. He was lost once again, confused as to why he was here in this stifled room instead of in his office tucked away in the village hidden in the sand. He wondered why he kept coming to this world; this world that did not exist.

Or perhaps it did exist, and the doctors were correct in saying the other world was not truly his own.

He didn't know.

He honestly did not want to fathom which was true or not since the philosophy behind it was so strenuous that to even think of it would cause a mental breakdown for sure.

So he merely accepted the idea that he was torn into two realities. The world of ninja, and the world involving him as a patient in a mental hospital.

This world was so plain, and harshly pale. The padded cells; white. The hallways; white. The cold tile floors; white. The nurses office; white. This damned therapy room was white too. So brightly clean, and sterile. It almost made him want to retch.

"Gaara, you're zoning out on me again." The pink haired doctor tapped her pen against her note pad; crossing and uncrossing her creamy legs in a irritated manner.

Sometimes he wondered why she wore those tight pencil skirts, and unbuttoned the first three buttons of her blouse to give away her cleavage. Was it to tease him? In the other world he never thought about her in such a way. Why did he suddenly find her attractive?

He didn't know.

However, he did know that this was his favorite time of day. This sickening therapy room was always graced by Sakura, and her complete image a sight for sore eyes. Had he not returned to the world of ninja in his sleep he was certain he would dream of her.

Dream of those damn legs of hers that led to an even more beautiful figure.

'She has her heart set on Sasuke... we've never truly had a good conversation outside of this reality. If only I could remember what I learn here when I return to my original world...'

"Gaara, this is the last time I'm going to ask you, unless you choose to finally give me a response we will have to end this session." The Doctor had a temper, and it was starting to show once again in their sessions. The Sakura of this reality was overworked, underslept, and the years of working with mental patients that consistently broke her trust had turned her cold. As much as he empathized with her, he also felt a twinge of bitterness.

The redhead felt a smirk form across his lips at the notion of being smart towards her; feeling little to no attachment to this place or its repercussions. Yet, as he remembered how that behavior got him nowhere except sedated in a padded cell, he decided against it.

"Forgive me, Sakura." He began.

"Please don't speak to me so formally, it's Dr. Haruno."

He felt his smirk be wiped away with her coldness. The Sakura in his world was much warmer, and kind hearted. It was a persona he liked to hold onto while speaking with this current Sakura.

"Worried that Sasuke might get jealous?" The air grew colder at his statement, and he rose up on the lounge to make eye contact with his therapist. She did not seem pleased.

"You know Sasuke is a patient here. I can't involve myself with my patients you know this." Sakura ran her fingers through her pink hair. It was longer here than it was in his world. She wasn't a shinobi so it made sense that she never felt the need to cut it. To be honest, he rather enjoyed it long. It made her seem more feminine.

"I see nothing wrong with indulging in your patients, doctor. Seeing how this place isn't real you could truly do whatever you please." He turned to face the window, wishing he could just go outside for once in this world.

"Ah, so you're really here today huh? I was worried that you might be back on that ninja stuff again." She smiled genuinely. "It's refreshing when your mind is clear."

"I claim this world isn't real, and you are comforted by this? You are an odd woman indeed." He chuckled before returning his aquatic gaze to hers.

Every time he met her jade eyes with his own he could see her tense. It was as if he frightened her when his attention was solely on her, and this bothered him. 'If anything I would have thought we were closer than this.'

"You're afraid of me." He stated openly. At first she seemed to tense further, but it swiftly gave way to irritability.

"No, I am not afraid of you. However I am prepared for your random 'attacks' that you seem to have. A caution if you will." She spoke clearly, but devoid of emotion. The redhead had noticed she would do this as a defense.

"You're a bad liar. I intimidate you, and we both know it." He paused to watch his words sink in. He witnessed her shift in her seat just the slightest with unease, and responded by straightening his posture to continue with an air of cockiness he rarely flaunted. "Afraid I might bark at you, attack you, and perhaps you fear that I'll get a wild hair to sexually assault you." It was a bit much, but he felt restless today, and wanted someone to join him in his anxiety.

She gaped only for a few seconds before scoffing.

"You have never shown any sort of sexual interest here before. I think your other cell mates have been giving you some bad thinking material." Sakura smirked at him with a confidence that made him want to shoot her down into the mud. His ego found itself in a battle with her own.

"Well I think your skirt is too short, and your blouse is open just enough to keep my imagination roaming. Perhaps you do these things on purpose? Maybe you truly do want to get a 'rise' out of me." The devilish grin that lit up his features almost made him frightening; keyword almost as she continued to brush him off after a short period of shock.

"I've never witnessed you talk so much! Perhaps I should make the skirts even shorter just to get you to converse more." The doctor snickered while becoming more pleased with the situation than he was.

Gaara eyed her over again. He felt no shame in this world so he made an effort to do as he pleased. He felt there were no repercussions because this was just a dream. Sooner or later he would come back to being Kazekage, and realize that he had accidentally taken a nap.

"Back to business, how have your episodes been? On a scale of one to ten how realistic-"

"This world is very realistic, but I know it's a dream." He looked around the room and sighed, not caring in the least that he had interrupted her. He decided he wouldn't censor himself today, and just relayed everything that passed his mind. "This place is a nightmare, and sadly you with your form fitting outfits, and natural beauty are my only saving grace."

Sakura blinked owlishly for a moment before a slight pink blush graced her features. He had flattered her by accident. In all honesty he was just speaking his feelings, and in no way was attempting to charm her. However, it seemed to have a positive affect. He would have to remember this in the future.

"Since when did you become charming?" She tucked a fallen piece of pink hair back behind her ear once again. All he wanted was to take out that ponytail of hers, and watch as her hair came down in pink shining falls around her chest. He very much wanted to touch her hair, and it took a lot more strength then unusual to contain himself.

"I have finally given up. When I am here I am stuck so I make the best of my situation, but hold no attachment since it is only a dream." Gaara invested himself in watching her jot away as he spoke, and she seemed just as focused on any word he said to her. Strangely, this made him feel validated; so he continued.

"Instead of panicking, I have chosen that with the right amount of honey I can attract whatever I want to the pot, and since I will always return to my original world at some point I really have no qualms about acting out my wants, and needs regardless of circumstances." He shifted his gaze once again to meet with hers, only to watch her tense once again. Only this time the shade of pink still colored her cheeks.

'How interesting...'

"And what are your wants and needs, Gaara?" Sakura leaned forward in interest. Having her full attention was making him feel warmer than usual, and he strangely liked it. The validation from earlier morphed into something akin to a grandiose sense of self.

"I could show you if you'd like." Gaara gave a sly smile as the words dripped venomously from his lips, and her stunned reaction made him grin even further.

The redhead was not flirtatious. He almost never had that kind of confidence with the exception of this very moment. He didn't understand where this bravado was coming from, but he felt no fear here. He knew that this was a place far away in his mind, and if he wanted to let that dark urge finally surface in him then he would allow it to do so here. Because this place didn't exist.

Perhaps she would be like a real dream girl, and crawl submissively onto his lap. That would make this 'hospital' have a whole new meaning for him. He would actually start to enjoy his stay for once.

'I feel bad for exploiting Sakura in my subconscious, but I won't deny that I am a man. She is very beautiful, so I will chose not to feel guilt if I allow this little dream to happen. It's not real, so it won't actually hurt anyone...'

"You're becoming very manipulative. You're beginning to show signs of being a narcissist rather than a schizophrenic." As if the whole situation hadn't phased her she jotted hurriedly onto her notepad. He recoiled from her words, and almost felt insulted by them.

"You're showing signs of being a bad doctor. Honestly, do you not care for your patient's feelings enough to quietly make a diagnosis?" He pressed. When silence answered him he looked in her direction. At first he saw a flash of guilt, but then it quickly turned to stone.

"You've never showed yourself to be empathetic let alone sane enough to realize the people, and things around you. I've made countless statements to you before about your condition, and you are just now understanding what they even mean. It's as if you're a completely different person." She answered him without an apology. It was as if she were diagnosing a bug in a computer program with how detached she sounded. He felt his temper start to flare.

"Sakura, you will treat me like a human being. I don't care if this isn't a real place, time, or scenario. Not even in my mind will I have you insult me in a such a way." Gaara finally stood to make his move.

As he approached the woman he watched carefully as her hand slipped into her coat pocket hanging on the back of her chair. He knew what she had in there, he hazily remembered her using it on him before in the past. He chose to reassure her of his intentions.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. I just want you to wake up." He clapped at the beat of his last two words, and she bristled with confusion. "Realise that I am not a monster, a robot, or an animal. I am a man."

"Men can be more frightening then all those things combined, Gaara." Sakura blurted before catching herself. He watched her facial expressions change, and realized she was trying to hide some sort of trauma from him. She cursed softly under her breath before staring him down.

Gaara could see her caution, and he sympathized with her. She was an incredibly attractive woman in a building filled with degenerates that would quickly tear her apart if given the chance. He surmised that some had probably gotten close.

"Have I ever tried anything?" The redhead didn't mean it as a rhetorical question, but he knew that's how it would sound. He truly didn't know if he had ever tried to get at her or not. He hoped for the latter.

"Gaara, you are too close. Back down." She ignored his question in favor of putting up a defense. If anyone needed help in this asylum it was her; her distrust in her patients was immeasurable.

He had to bring back some balance for her.

"It was a question, I wasn't making implications." He raised up his hands in surrender before backing up to the lounge he was previously laying on. "As for what I said earlier about intimidating you; the content was in poor taste, and I apologize for any discomfort it might have caused."

Now Sakura seemed dumbfounded. It was as if she were watching a talking dog walking on its hind legs, and the longer she stared the more ridiculous he felt.

"You're apologizing? This isn't like you at all." She leaned forward to look him over. When she couldn't seem to find anything she rose out of her chair to walk over and hold him at arms length, confusing him when she continued to inspect his skull.

"What are you doing? Are you allowed to touch your patients?" Gaara protested, but he was also enjoying the feeling of her hands on his neck and scalp. When she flashed a light into his eyes he flinched painfully. "Can you please stop?"

"I'm checking to see if you hit your head at all. I might have to put you back in the padded room." He blanched at the idea of the padded room; it more so beckoned it's prisoner to become violent rather than suppress the urge. "As much as I enjoy you being sane, if it's because you're damaging your brain then unfortunately I can't allow it to go any further." She took his pulse with little to no emotion. He was going to lose it this time for sure.

"I don't have a concussion, I'm not hurting myself, and if you are going to touch me then do it out of the need to nurture rather than treating my body like it's on a slab." He swatted away her hand with a painful glimmer in his eyes, and bitterness drawn on his face. "And if you put me back in that white hell hole I will never forgive you."

"I can't touch you like that it's unprofessional, and you'll go to that room if it is deemed necessary regardless of how you feel about me afterwards." Sakura sighed, and he could hear how spread thin she was, but he wasn't giving up.

"Perhaps it's time you put professionalism aside in able to actually get the results you want so badly. Maybe I would actually stick around if something truly made me want to be here." He placed his hands on her shoulders, and she tensed. "Treat me like a human being. Please."

"Gaara..." Her tone was warning, but she seemed to finally crack. "I can't trade our positions in for anything unprofessional, but I can try to provide some of what you're asking. I'm sure we can make a compromise." She met his eyes carefully, still icy as ever. However, he was finally feeling like he was getting somewhere with this world's Sakura.

"When I'm here, I will do whatever you ask. However, while I'm here I would like to be treated as if we are friends." He nodded to himself before dropping his arms, but once again felt drained when he saw her confused expression.

"So when you're acting sane, you want me to treat you like you're actually sane? Really?" Sakura blinked at him in disbelief. He shrugged finding that this was the best he was going to get.

"Essentially, yes. I don't know what happens when I'm not 'here'." Gaara moved his fingers in a quotation action to press his point. "I just know that when I am 'here' I am treated dismally when actually I truly wouldn't mind having a conversation with you, or a laugh, or a pleasant meal, or even just sitting quietly. Just treat me respectfully."

Sakura moved away from him to pace, and think over her options. He watched her mind work, how her clothes shift as she walked, and the way she nibbled at the end of her pen all while searching for answers. In his mind, this shouldn't have been a hard decision as it was plain, and simple. To her though, he couldn't be sure; she seemed to be adamant on keeping her distance from him.

'Why?' He asked himself, wondering if he had ever actually hurt this world's Sakura to the point of earning her due hatred. If he had, he didnt know if he wanted to be notified about it or not. Even in a realistic dream such as this one, he didnt want to be that monster anymore. He didn't want to be so thirsty for blood like he had when he was young.

When she finally stilled he snapped out of his haunted state, and waited with anticipation. Her face changed several times, and each expression was more confusing than the last. Her mind was a lock he couldn't fathom picking at the moment; she was beyond his level.

"Alright. I'll supervise you today, and we'll take it for a test run." She sighed in defeat.

Gaara smiled genuinely for probably the first time in that world, and it felt strange at how easy it was to form a smile rather than a frown. Like it required less muscles to work against gravity, which felt illogical.

Then again, there was no life or intelligence in this place. Just the smell of bleach, the irritating light of fluorescent bulbs, the rough texture of the pale blue scrubs they dressed him in, and the numbing sight of endless white.

Yet, now at least he could see pink, and jade. All the while smelling the faintest scent of cherry blossoms.

That clock was still ticking though; thumbing away through space like god, but letting itself be known as a creation by lesser creatures. It disgusted him, and gave his life meaning while resonating in sync with itself. Something to look back on, and something to look forward to. Describing the end while flaunting the eternity.

Time was insane, and should probably wear a straight jacket.

 **AN: Welcome Welcome Welcome! If you don't know me yet I'm the silly author who decided to write this dark, fucked up story! Please know that it wont be for the faint of heart, and this is probably the only safe chapter you will read. All chapters after this are not pleasant. There will be very touchy subjects brought up such as: rape, molestation, assault, child abuse, drug abuse, all over shaming (Not for kinks, but because it sucks), and some realistic smut... because if you have read any of my work I cannot go two chapters without some sort of sex scene, I am impatient like that BUT HEYO IT KEEPS YA FROM FEELING COMPLETELY TERRIBLE DURING THIS STORY, SO LONG LIVE THE SMUT! Also, our two main characters here will be having sex with other people, just a forewarning, but it is for character and plot development. A little ooc, but for interesting reasons, as you can already tell (I'm assuming you just finished reading my first chapter nyuk nyuk nyuk) so expect that ooc behavior while they also** ** _fight_** **to stay in character! Ah-ha! I am a ridiculously evil bitch :)**

 **Review review review...or no story for youuuuuu~ :3**

 **EDIT: FIXED MISSING NAME PROBLEM! WHOOP**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: A warning for my sensitive kiddos, this is going to be a rough ride so buckle in with a cup of cocoa. You're going to need a safe space (maybe not right during this chapter, I'm exaggrating on this one but the ones afterward are safespace worthy) There is smut here, and if this is chappie is too much (which in my book it's not that bad it's just crass, but then again I am most likely your trashiest author on your list of fics ) then you better not touch this fic even with a ten foot pole. We're diving deep, and this chapter is the kiddy pool, so use your best judgement.**

Shadows played on the walls as the moon filtered through the window, and a light misting of rain. The rain was silent, but he could still see droplets on the small pane of glass barely big enough for his face to peer out of when standing on his bed, but tonight he was able to lay quietly, and watch the refracting cool light of the divine moon from his hard mattress.

Gaara stared at the ceiling as well in his dark room. The day had gone by rather well, and he was able to talk casually with Sakura throughout his time with her. He told her in great detail about his true world, the world in which he was the Kazekage of Suna. He told her of his past there, of his dreams, and how she played a part in his world of shinobi.

He told her everything, and she had hung on his every word.

The last thing he saw of her that day was a close conversation she was having with a male orderly. They had moved in close proximity of each other; whispering something private enough to hide from the tolken mental patient. As she closed his door for the night his suspicion grew as if some sort of strange plot was afoot, and something about the way the blonde orderly had eyed her made him feel oddly jealous.

It bothered him so much he couldn't sleep, and the beast was alive for the night to partake in mischief. Even though Shukaku was no longer apart of him, his tanuki instincts seemed to stick with the redhead regardless of whether he wanted them or not.

The moon was bright, and his night wandering instinct thrummed in his veins, begging for its curious fix.

Gaara sat up and gazed at his bedroom door. There was a high probability that it was locked, but he had an inkling to try opening it regardless. Padding softly like the nighttime animal he knew himself to be, he made his way to the horrid metal door that taunted him with freedom.

His gut had proven to be true as the handle slid down with a satisfying click, and the door opened silently. He started out into the hall with a smirk, but ended with him stopping short when he heard a strange noise.

It sounded like someone was upset. Like a girl was sobbing somewhere, or mourning like a ghost. The more the voice echoed, the more curiosity claimed him.

Since it didn't sound like it came from any of the surrounding rooms he decided to make his way down the hall. He crept softly as he came to the medical room, hearing the sound grow much louder then before.

The sound had changed rather drastically. Gaara knew the sound, he wasn't unfamiliar with it regardless of the fact that he was still a virgin. He could hear something shaking from inside, which he assumed was whatever furniture was being defiled, and a harsh breathing following the feminine cries.

The voice still sounded familiar, and that's what was putting him on edge. The redhead knew the bell-like tone, and the pleasant sharpness of the sound, but he didn't know if he wanted to break that wall of truly knowing that it was her or not.

After an unknown number of erotic moans thrummed through him, each wearing him further down than the last in heated waves, he finally caved.

Peering around the corner he noticed two forms in the dimly lit room, one he recognized right away, and the other he did not even care to recognize.

His focus was entirely on the woman.

Sakura's pink hair was undone, and her shining locks splayed out on the medical cot with her face distorted in lust as the male orderly slammed into her repeatedly. Her opened shirt exposed a pale lace bra that was pushed upwards on her chest to allow her breasts to breathe. Her body was being pushed heavily by the bulky male's rhythm, and her softer details; such as her skirt, and hair; shifted with each thrust as he fucked her unceremoniously.

The slang word; 'fuck', was appropriate for this situation, as the act showed that it was in no way loving. If he would ever have to describe it to anyone, he would most certainly add the crass word to his vocabulary for that conversation.

The scene was disgusting, and almost rude.

As much as Gaara wanted to look away, he just couldn't. The man made him feel somewhat ill, but watching his ravishing doctor in such a state of shame kept him locked in.

The redhead was surprised to find that she still remained untainted in his aquatic eyes. Even while this inbred barn-animal's genitals pumped into her as if he paid her for it, she still managed to glow in the soft red emergency lighting of that dark medical room; like a siren draped in a sheer cloak made from the light of a harvest moon.

Sakura remained beautiful even when burried under all of the filth of the world. The thought of her arms, and legs covered with bruises came to mind, but it still didn't deter him from finding her absolutely perfect. Beaten, bloodied, bruised, ruined, and used; he would still desire her.

Gaara continued to watch until the oaf screwing her decided they were done, much to her, and now her patient's displeasure. As sick as it was, he wanted her to leave satisfied. The redhead kept to the shadows to remain unseen while watching a different scene unfold, and his animal instinct for finding things to preoccupy his mind at night skyrocketed with the new knowledge they had unknowingly graced him with.

"Are you serious?! You can't even let me finish?" Sakura adjusted her bra back down, and her underwear back up. Her skin was damp with sweat, and the redhead knew that she was still rearing to go. The breathless chump of a man shrugged.

"Its not my fault you can't get there when I can. Just go fuck one of the patients if you're not satisfied. Lots of people do it. Dr. Yashagoro does it too!" The man snickered before continuing making Gaara wince almost painfully at the apish sound of his voice, and at the pang of jealousy he felt over the situation. "Half those idiots start fucking whacking it when you walk past their rooms anyways. Might as well get some actual use out of their pumps."

The redhead felt a rage flow through him that he hadn't felt in a very long time, and he realized that Sakura shared that same disgust. Had she not thrown a fit first, he might have bursted through the door to thoroughly crush the scumbag until his brainmatter was coating the redhead's now clenched fists.

Truth be told, Gaara absolutely hated rude people, and sometimes he would literally crush said people- with pounds of sand until their insides fell from the sky like chunky blood rain... Well, he really chilled out after becoming Kazekage, but he still remained in-touch with that murderous side of him just for situations like these. His siblings would deny it, and call him a born again saint, but he knew very well that if it came to tit-for-tat he could easily make someone into his own personal blood cake.

"I can't even believe you. You're disgusting." Frustrated, the still stunning doctor smoothed out her skirt before stomping over to the door. Panic setting in, Gaara quickly moved to a nearby garbage can to hide just in the knick of time as the door swung open violently.

"Yeah, well you wanted some dick, and you got some. Maybe next time I'll let you get off if you suck it first." The orderly remarked in a snide tone.

That image alone was enough to make the redhead want to vomit.

Sakura didn't slow her pace as she slammed the door behind her. Neither her, nor Gaara were phased by the horrendously loud noise it made, but it did stir up a few patients down the hall. He heard screams, and shouts from the mentally sensitive people that made him pity their situation, but his focus remained on the woman disturbing the peace. He watched her storm past his hiding spot, and continued to follow her silently throughout the building; curious as to what actions she would take.

Would she cry? Did she love this crude Neanderthal? Or was it just casual sex? Gaara couldn't imagine her being strictly promiscuous, and he knew the Sakura of his world was a hopeless romantic, but there were a lot of things different here. Perhaps she really was a completely different person, and he just wished she was like the kunoichi he knew, and respected.

Sakura seemed to storm about in a strange fashion. Occasionally she would stop in a low lit area to huff, and bite her thumb vexingly. The redhead padded so carefully to tail her, and he knew that if he got caught it would mean a world of trouble.

The doctor ran her fingers through her loose pink hair, and paced the hallway in deep thought. At times she would whisper something to herself, and he recognized it as her having an internal conflict. He wished he could be inside her head just to know what was buzzing around in her brain. From his position, it looked like she was retrogressing. Her argument with herself involved a few tears, and holding herself protectively; like she had been channeling a past trauma.

Something was very wrong with her, and it made him feel slightly ill in thinking that she might be just as crazy as her patients. However, it didn't deter him from being attracted to her. Even in her crazed state, he wouldn't mind tasting her.

'Alright... perhaps I should consider talking to a real therapist when I return to Suna. This is not acceptable behavior... not even in a dream.' He blanched at himself, wondering if his mind was actually trying to tell him something about his true mental health. He shook it off like a wet dog to come back to later.

Finally, Sakura seemed to come to terms with whatever was ailing her, and turned tail to walk back where she previously came from. Gaara was quick to stay to the shadows; always the clever night stalker. She made her rounds back to the patients sleeping quarters with a confident march, when he realized that she was actually heading to his room.

'Well...shit.' He knew it wasn't going to end very well now. Any time now he would wake up in Suna; a dense sweat plaguing him while tangled up in his bed sheets.

As her soft clicking heels slowed to a stop at his door he watched her pause when her hand met his door handle. She was contemplating opening it. Yet, why exactly? Why did she come to check on him tonight? Maybe she did this every night before she went home, and he was just now realizing it. What was this place trying so hard to communicate to him?

His thought process was disrupted as she moved the handle down; finally making up her mind, and moving in cautiously. He followed closely behind her without her knowledge. Closing in like a second shadow to her own.

It was a strange move, but he knew she would most likely go to his bed first. Then after he slipped in without her knowledge, he would make her believe that he had been standing behind the door the whole time. Her heels were rather loud, and certainly announced her arrival, so 'faux hiding' could be very believable. Plus, he had insomnia that made him act very strange; though nowadays he slept more often due to the loss of the one tailed beast, but that was beside the point. Here, in this world, he was told to be clinically insane. He would use that assumption to his advantage if need be.

Just as he predicted she tensed when she saw the bed was empty before rushing over to check under it. Her skirt clung dangerously around her backside; as pencil skirts tend to do, and he had to cast his eyes off to the wall to tame himself. As she called out his name he shut the door behind him, encasing them both in darkness.

Sakura gasped, and flipped around on the floor to catch him staring down at her. She put her hand on her heart as if it would slow it's pace, and breathed harshly with anxiety. Sakura looked good there on the floor; she was already at the perfect height to su-.

'No. Stop it. Don't go there, Gaara.' The redhead scolded himself inwardly before shaking the image out of his head.

"What are you doing up?! You're supposed to be sleeping!" She spat out a bit too excitedly then what was normal. He closed the distance between them to offer a hand to get her off the floor. The doctor looked at his hand suspiciously, as if she didn't understand or trust the gesture.

"What are you doing sneaking into my room?" Gaara smirked as she finally accepted his hand, and he pulled her up with a strength that surprised her. He liked that he was stronger than her, and that he could make her gasp with just the pull of his lean yet muscular arm.

She opened her mouth to answer, but then quickly closed it.

It was too dark to tell if she was blushing, but he could see her wringing her hands anxiously. That was enough to tell him that she desired some sort of company at the moment, and he was more than willing to oblige; even if it were only just to stand there, and witness her bashfulness in its full glory.

"I heard a door slam. Did something happen?" He showed genuine concern now when she swayed on her feet nervously. Little by little, through words or body language, he could tell that she was falling apart somehow.

He wished he had some tape to give her as a cute joke. Yet, the idea of putting it on her mou-.

'NO.' The redhead mentally yelled at himself, and his libido backed down like a well trained pup.

"Ha. Yeah. I was arguing with a coworker, it's not a big deal." She shrugged, and flipped some of her hair back. The redhead was immediately entranced by it, and reached out to hold a lock of pink strands in between his fingers without thinking. Sakura tensed greatly at his action, but he didn't stop, even though his conscience begged him not to invade her space.

"I'm not trying to be creepy, your hair is just very beautiful. It's soft. Feminine. Comforting." Gaara seemed to soothe himself as he stroked the silky strands, ignoring her fearful eyes. The locks felt cool, and smooth to the touch with the exception of going closer to her scalp. She breathed carefully, as if any change would cause him to go off like a bomb, but he had no desire to hurt her. Instead he stroked his fingers through her hair from scalp to tip, and she shivered with every pass of his hand. "You deserve...to be touched like this..." He whispered absentmindedly.

They stayed silent for a while, and eventually she relaxed to his touch. He nurtured her with feathery strokes knowing full well that she came here in disarray looking to somehow ease whatever was aching inside of herself.

He wanted to be one of those things inside of her, and at the thought he scolded himself harshly once again for his perverse mindset.

When she finally spoke, it reaffirmed everything.

"Am I beautiful?" Sakura spoke just above a whisper, and her trauma seemed to be in clear view for him. He knew she needed to feel validated, respected, nurtured, and he would let her fish for as many compliments as was needed to build herself back up. That moron had hit an already cracked part of her, and he wanted to glue her shards back into the places they belonged.

She wasn't real, but he still wanted to fix her, and take her home with him. Tuck her into his bed carefully; hiding her damage away from the judging eyes of the world.

An image flashed in his mind of her draped in his arms cold, and soaked through from freezing rain. Why that particular image he couldnt say, it was incredibly random. Perhaps it was some sort of hero fantasy, and she was playing the part of a damsel. Yes; that had to be it. He was mental in this world after all, and delusions of grandeur were common amongst the clinically insane. Suddenly, the image was pushed to the side as he gazed carefully into her shadow-clad jade orbs.

Sakura was staring at him as if she had some sort of longing in her, and it reflected bittersweetly through her eyes.

"You are very beautiful." Gaara responded softly, and his free hand sought her own to hold gently as his thumb smoothed against her skin. He was succeeding in helping her, and he felt proud of that.

"What else?" Her voice cracked. She was staring hard at his chest, refusing to look him in the eyes. He realised that this was uncomfortable for her; seeking affirmation from someone else. However, it was something all humans needed. To be told your life means something to someone, and that all of your thoughts, opinions, hopes, fears, needs, and desires were taken into careful consideration was such an important thing. To hear it made one feel renewed, and completely reborn with fresh hope to take on the darkness of the world.

Something told him she needed this for more than just what one chauvinistic asshole did to her. There was more than that man at play here, and Gaara wanted to make all of it dissapear.

"You are intelligent, you are strong, you are loyal, you are dedicated, you work hard... You're special. You're important. You're needed-" When she started to cry he knew he had struck a much needed chord in her. He knew she desperately had to break down for her own sanity. However, he wasn't expecting her to open up as much as she did.

"I'm so sorry for how I treated you, and... I'm sorry for coming in here tonight, and bothering you. I was actually going to try to press you for something a bit different than this- but, you seemed to know exactly what I needed. Thank you. I won't forget your kindness." Sakura leaned her head against his shoulder, and he felt her tears go through his shirt. A familiar situation ran through his mind, but he couldnt grasp it in time to recognize it. Yet, something about what she said started to gnaw at him.

"What do you mean you came for something different?" He pressed, and felt her stiffen against him. Her breath tightened in her chest, and he could tell she was feeling increasingly anxious. She started to shake her head before pushing away.

"Oh it's nothing, please don't worry." It was then he noticed the hue of her cheeks. Through the small window on his door and the slightest light from the hallway outside he could now see that a rich blush had taken over her features.

'Just go fuck one of the patients if you're not satisfied'

Even though he had been told in life that he was rather handsome, Gaara could not fathom someone actually being sexually attracted to him, and it was being made painfully aware now that his doctor-no; his friend, had sought him out for physical relief. He watched her eyes focus hard on the floor, and with every color she turned he found himself matching the same shade.

The redhead was all bark when it came to flirting with her, and fantasizing about her, but when it came down to the grit of it he was all raw nerves.

He replayed how she looked in the nurse's room. How her whole body would shift with each thrust, the way her chest would bounce, how her hair fell everywhere, the way she mewled like a crying kitten, and how her face was stitched erotically in a session that was cut too short.

Gaara had never dreamed of actually seeing her in such a light, but now that the spotlight was blaring on her he couldn't stop seeing it. He wanted to see more. He wanted to be the orderly in that room to replace that fucking ape, and instead of ruining the moment he would throw her on every surface, and take her in every position possible for as long, and hard as she would allow him. He would make sure to last throughout the entirety of the night to ensure that she got what she needed.

And yet...he didn't even know how to start.

All he could do was try to keep his hands from shaking in fear of the act itself. He wanted it so badly, but he felt bitter about it too.

It was messy, sticky, sweaty, overheated, panting, moaning, and if you were good at it the woman would possibly scream for you.  
It disgusted him, intrigued him, made him feel immature, made him feel like a degenerate, made him feel like an animal, but it also clawed at his insides pushing him to do it on instinct. Forcing him to want to dirty her like that man, only he wanted to mark her thoroughly as his territory.

His blood rushed with a heat that begged for a cool drink from her own personal fountain. A secret they could have together, and he would tell no one because of his possessiveness over any single intimate thing shared. He would have every millimeter of her for his own, and if anyone thought about a single baby fine hair on her body in the wrong light he would fucking strangle them with the nearest wire coat hanger-

'She smell's so nice...' Gaara felt himself balk, and then shudder at how far his mind went into darkness before coming back to reality. He knew this type of lustful rush was called eros, but knowing the name of it didn't help him at the moment. It frightened him to the point of shaking, and yet he still couldn't stop himself from playing into whatever she needed. If this woman asked him for something, he would roll over like a dog. Like some sort of tamed pet tanuki with unconditional affection for her; waiting for her to present a delicious treat.

The redhead finally sighed, growing tired from the antics of his mind. He caved.

"Sakura, I'm not experienced in all things. Just be careful what you ask of me, because I might not know how to... help you." If the lights were on she would realise that his cheeks matched his hair. However she didn't seem to notice as she tried to look everywhere except at his face. Finally she gave a laugh, and it was obviously forced.

"I'm fine, Gaara! I feel much better just talking to you so please don't worry about having to grant me favors. This was enough." Sakura smiled, and he knew that part of it was genuine. She obviously appreciated what he did for her, but she was still plainly stressed.

The doctor finally turned to retreat to the door to exit into the hallway. Panicking, he followed her like a puppy before stopping under the frame as if an invisible barrier was keeping him inside. He truly didn't want her to leave. He would start barking, that would make her stay for sure.

'Get a hold of yourself! You are embarrassing! You're not a tanuki!' He inwardly screamed before collecting himself enough to speak. With a light blush no less.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. If you need anything from me; at moments when I am 'sane' of course; you are more than welcome to come here. I don't mind your company. In fact, I enjoy it greatly." Gaara spoke softly, but his voice still seemed to echo down the hard white tile, and plastered walls.

Sakura blushed sweetly, and opened her mouth to respond when the most horrendous laugh interrupted her, making them both snap their heads at the noise.

It was that disgusting perverted orderly, and he was looking at the both of them in absolute horrific glee.

"Oh my fucking god, Sakura! I can't even believe you!" Instead of looking offended like any other 'lover' would he just continued to haw like a barn animal. He looked like a blonde bull, so Gaara wasn't surprised that he would sound like one. "You picked the craziest, and ugliest motherfucker in this whole building!" He bent forward grabbing his gut as he laughed even harder. Now he was beginning to sound like a true ape. "He must be huge if you're willing to stoop that low, or it could be because the crazier they are the better they are in the sack! It must be that retard strength!"

"Could I possibly use that sedative that you keep in your coat pocket? Because it's either the drug knocks him out, or I do it personally." Gaara felt his blood absolutely boil. Partly for the insults, but mostly for the utter disrespect this offensive man showed. There weren't any words to really describe how he truly felt, but the only emotion he clung to for her sake was patience. The redhead shifted his eyes to his doctor, and was relieved to see her just as furious.

"Tomo, you need to leave before I call an actual security guard. You are disturbing this wing, and its patients." Sakura gave him a no-nonsense demeanor, and crossed her arms as if to close her body off from the man. The redhead felt proud of her, but Tomo didn't seem to care for it.

"Oh really? Then I'll let it slip that you're fucking your favorite patient. Gaara's little pea brain probably can't even comprehend what your doing to him. Look at the poor guy! He's probably turning back into a pissing baby because your pussy is too loose!" As the blonde buffoon snorted in laughter, Sakura looked at the redhead in pure fear. She obviously knew him better than he granted her for, but unfortunately nothing could really stop him from doing what he did next. Not even a plea from her.

Gaara didn't wait for the guy to stop laughing before his first hit connected with his stomach. The orderly had just breathed out, and wasn't expecting to be hit so hard in the now soft abdomen. He made a horrible wretching noise, complimented with forced vomit, after the redhead pulled back from his low blow, but he swung again just as forcefully to the base of the skull while the blonde was distractedly bent forwards. If this man died so be it. It would be one of the few times that the redhead felt pure joy when killing another human being, and he decided he would truly cherish this moment.

Tomo's skull hit the floor with a pleasing crack to his thick bull-like forehead before blood started to pool rapidly on the white tile, and as Gaara pulled back one last time to truly finish the job, and dirty his hands with this man's grey matter, he felt a picking sensation in his deltoid.

He stopped to look at the muscle, and noticed an empty syringe with the needle embedded deep into his flesh. The redhead looked at Sakura confused, and as her face lowered to one of sadness it started to blur. Suddenly he was on his hands, and knees staring at the floor with watery vision. Everything said to him sounded like it was very far away, and he felt like his mind was even further down the rabbit hole.

 _I'm so sorry!_

He had no thought process, with the exception of what would happen inches in front of his face. A light flashed in both of his eyes a few times, and a couple disfigured forms managed to surround him. They rolled him over, and it felt numb in every place that he was touched. He felt warm liquid drip from his lips, and some part of him told him it was his own saliva spilling out of his mouth.

Gaara felt undignified like this, and he knew he probably looked worse than he felt.

His brain felt so fuzzy, and when he'd blink he swore he was falling asleep only to be rudely awoken when they would move him. It happened so much, and if he could speak he would tell them to leave him the hell alone.

Gaara just wanted to sleep. That's all he ever wanted in life; besides loving relationships; he just needed a good night's sleep.

One last move had him laying on something soft, but he couldn't move his arms. It was as if they were bandaged tightly around his body. Everything echoed as if he were under water, but the sounds were all garbled, and lost in the recesses of his short circuting brain. He looked around one last time, and her pink hair overtook his vision. It enveloped him in a rose curtain, and he felt a numbness from his forehead.

Gaara realized that she had kissed him there, that beautiful doctor of his. Sakura kissed him...

 _I'm so sorry, Gaara_...

He vaguely heard an apology, but he couldn't understand it. Instead he chose to just close his eyes, and hoped the spinning sensation wouldn't make him sick before he blacked out for the night.

 **AN: It wasn't as bad as ya thought? Good...excellent...marvelous...**

 **Prepare your anus, I'm goin' in dry!**

 **LOLOLOLOLOLOL no not really, I wouldn't do that to you, fair reader! However, there is going to be some frowned upon stuff in the next chapter as well as cringe worthy situations so go hop in your iron maiden to desensitize yourself ok? Good lil' precious beans! Review~ Revieeeeeww~ REVIEEEEEWWWWWWWW~~~~**

 **EDIT: MISSING NAMES HAVE BEEN FIXED**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: OKAY SO I TOTALLY LIED TO YOU EARLIER ABOUT THIS BEING A ROUGH CHAPTER! Lmao, I had completely forgotten that I had written an extremely long chapter and made the decision to split it up. So expect a great deal of things to get covered within a span of a day over many chapters. So yeah, this one is pretty tame.**

Gaara didn't return to Sunagakure.

That was the first thing that bothered him. The drugs had numbed him to the point of not being able to return home somehow, and he suddenly felt trapped.

This had never happened before, he was always able to wake up. It frustrated him.

The next problem was the fact that he couldn't move his arms. When he looked down at himself he realized they had put that horrible contraption called a 'strait jacket' on him, and boy did they tighten it as uncomfortably as a fresh corset.

Not that he knew what a corset felt like, but he imagined it to be just as, if not more, constricting.

No, he hated this. That attack last night was not worth how this currently felt. Trapped like an animal being told it had rabies by passing guards. He hoped that idiot, Tomo, died for all the trouble the orderly had given him. He wished against all wishes that the pig suffered his injuries with palpable agony.

Lastly, he had to go to the bathroom. Now that was going to be a predicament...

Gaara used the strength of his abdomen to sit himself upright, and maneuvered off of his simple bed. He was thankful that his body was toned enough to work how he wanted it to in this world. Without taijutsu here, he didnt know what shape his body was in originally, but luckily he was blessed with abs that wouldn't quit until he told them to. Perhaps working out was just the only thing to do here to pass the time, and with his stamina it made sense that he would be constantly attempting to burn of his energy.

He padded over to his door, and regretted not testing his balance first because the aftereffects of the drugs made his walking a bit awkward. Every time he actually remembered being sedated he always felt weak the next day. Drugs were not his friend, but they sure liked to get in his system without his consent. When he finally got to the door, he kicked it three times in succession to alert whoever was on guard outside.

"What?" A man on the other side sourly replied, and the redhead frowned at his tone.

"May I use the restroom?" He asked as gently as his gruff voice could manage, and surprisingly it came out much softer than he thought it would. When the man on the other side snickered, the patient felt a wave of stress hit him like a truck.

"You can fucking piss yourself, asshole. My buddy is in the E.R. cause of your retarded ass-"

"Oh, you had better not be denying my patient a bathroom break!" The familiar clicking of heels on hard tile filled Gaara's ears, and he almost praised every god in existence. "Get out of my way! Do you realize how abusive that is? If you do this again to my patients, you get to clean up the mess, not me! You are dismissed, Kai!"

"Yeah, whatever, you prefer your psycho patients over the guy you're fucking after hours. You're a cold woman, Haruno." The bitter guard finally left his post before Gaara could see his face, but he would remember the name. If not to hunt the man down later for a bit of pay back.

The door opened wide, and Sakura stood there with a proud grin. Her hair was twisted up sinfully in a butterfly clip which was surprisingly in the shape of an actually butterfly. She had reading glasses attached to a metal beaded chain that made her look like a classic scholarly type, but the predictable pencil skirt with the carefully unbuttoned blouse made her look more like a librarian. The kind of librarian most men would want to help them find some rather dark literature. Possibly have her read such literature to them in a voice just above a whisper, in a dark secluded corner of the library, but he'd have to make sure to keep his hand over her mouth should she make any sounds-

"Okay, Gaara, if you'd like to stop staring for just a moment I'll take you to the bathroom." She crossed her arms, and gave him a thoroughly scrutinizing gaze. It was at that moment that he realized just how intensely he was staring at her body, and felt a blush creeping up on him. "My eyes are up here. Please don't make me regret wearing this outfit."

Now that she mentioned it there was one more button undone than usual, and her skirt was just an inch or so shorter than yesterday's.

That sneaky minx.

Gaara said nothing, but he did grant her a knowing smile as he walked out into the hall. When he heard her scoff at him, a full grin snuck out onto his face.

The march to the restroom was uneventful, and he recognized a few faces. Including Sasuke, who happened to be sitting on the floor in the hallway writing violently on a binded notepad. The Uchiha didn't look up at the redhead as he passed, but rather started to write even more furiously. It was strange to watch indeed, as he remembered the man as a much stronger person than the sour one he saw today. It was surreal

When they reached the door to the bathroom Sakura walked in with him, and he started to wonder just what she was going to do with him all bound up like that. His mind went to a darker place than he had wanted at that moment simply because he was already strained due to it just being the morning. The toilet was only a one person bathroom with a sink, and Sakura closed the door behind her. He gave her a confused look, was she really going to stay in here while he relieved himself?

Again, another dark thought. 'Focus, Gaara, focus!'

"Okay, I'm going to let you out of the jacket now, but if you try anything I'll be forced to use all methods necessary to take you down should it come to that." She was suddenly all business, and it put him on edge.

"What makes you think I'll try anything?" He raised a naked brow at her, and she sighed.

"It's just what I'm supposed to say, Gaara. It's so I don't get sued." Sakura began working at the buckles, and straps. He felt them loosen, and he breathed with relief as he shook out his arms. She roughly grabbed each arm to roll up the flopping extra long sleeves, and then secured their fastenings at the tops of his shoulder. He never realised that some of these jackets could even do that.

After all was said, and done, the doctor walked over to the wall to lean against it, but continued to watch him like a hawk. He blinked at her a few times in disbelief.

"Are you seriously going to watch me urinate?" Gaara said incredulously, and she nodded her head in all seriousness making him balk at her.

"Yup. Now get to it. I'm supervising you again today, so expect me to be with you at all times when you're outside of your bedroom." She said it so casually, that all he could do is gape at her. "Gaara, hurry up, and just go please."

"Can you turn on the faucet or something?" He fiddled with the ties to his pants, and she scoffed at him.

"I can't believe you're pee-shy." Sakura turned on the tap, and continued watching him. This was not okay with him. It was invasive, and degrading.

"Please turn, I don't want you to-"

"I have already seen you naked. I have been present for your physical exams for two years now." She crossed her arms stubbornly with a slight glare, but he remained unconvinced.

"Uh...this is...a bit different..." He swallowed hard before looking at the toilet like it were his enemy. This was so invasive.

"Would you rather I hold it for you? Because I'm not going to lie to you it's already happened." Sakura looked at her nails nonchalantly, and he felt a very hot blush wash over him as well as some rather risky images popping into his imagination. It was something that was most likely going to cause him some strain later in the evening.

"Thats... uh... well, there is still another problem." Gaara looked at her seriously, and he thought he saw her blanch.

"You don't have to take a shi-"

"No! No. I'm having an issue with this because it is morning." He swallowed hard, and she gave him a slightly wide eyed look with pink tinge to her cheeks, but she quickly swallowed her discomfort much to his surprise.

"Oh. I see." She stood up straight, but returned to staring him down. "Things like that won't offend me, I see it every day from my rather 'devious' patients. Please, go ahead."

Gaara blushed violently, and then had to mentally repeat to himself that this was just a very strange dream. It had to be, there was no way things like this could happen. Then again, he had a literal tanuki beast residing in his body once that would pop out inconveniently when he fell asleep, so who was he to judge?

Well, if she wasn't going to close her eyes then perhaps... No that was definitely not an option. That would be a catastrophe waiting to happen.

Instead he tuned her out, and loosened his pants just enough to hang just below his butt while adjusting himself out of his boxer briefs. He leaned forward with one hand against the wall, and strong armed his length to face the bowl. It was uncomfortable, but this was just how it was in the mornings. He let out a breath, and listen to the running tap of the sink before releasing.

He thought of waterfalls, and fountains, and streams. Concentrating hard on the task, and not on the other person in the room. When it finally ceased, he gave a few flicks to get rid of any excess. Still far away from this room in his mind.

"Hey, don't get too friendly now." She invaded his private mental zone with her comment, and he turned to glare at her with dick still in hand. "Listen, bedroom eyes, it's a rule. Two flicks. We have a problem with chronic masturbators, but I think you already knew that."

'Bedroom eyes?' Gaara outwardly shook his head in disbelief. She was getting very familiar with him, and he wondered if that could be a good thing or a bad thing. He chose to ignore the statement for now to readjust himself before flushing, and then washed his hands thoroughly. For some reason, she seemed to appreciate his cleanliness.

"Okay! Let's get you strapped back in!" She spoke as if she were talking to a baby being put in a carseat before she started messing with the sleeves making them magically grow long again.

"Is that really necessary?" He pouted, and her face went stoney. Obviously him being 'strapped in' was now a touchy subject.

"That man you beat up last night is in urgent care. You almost killed him." Sakura tightened one arm snuggly, but not as tightly as before. He wondered if she was being delicate with him, or if she just wasn't that strong in this world.

"He deserved it after what he said about you." Gaara said it a little too darkly, and regretted it when he felt her tighten his other arm forcefully. He grunted at the tension, and she paused for a moment before giving him back some slack.

"That wasn't your choice to make, and you don't need to defend my honor. I've made a lot of mistakes-"

"Like having sex with him in the nurse's office?" He said bitterly, and he felt her stop abruptly. He knew it was a bit harsh, but she needed to know that the guy was better off dead than alive to treat her so poorly.

"He never said anything about the nurse's office. Where did you hear that?" She turned him around quickly, and pushed him against the wall. His breath was stolen as she pressed him hard against the stark white surface, and he didn't know whether to panic or get excited. She looked completely frazzled. "Who told you?! Who saw us?!"

Gaara couldn't handle her frightened expression, and looked at the floor ashamed. Then he felt her hands touch his cheeks, and he felt almost threatened enough to push her away. She was forcing his head up to face her fully, and it felt so strange to not have control over his own body anymore. Instead, she had all of the control.

"Gaara, did you get out last night? Besides just the hallway?" Sakura asked him carefully, and he met her eyes for a moment before looking away again. He wouldn't dare open his mouth, he couldn't. He could feel her arms shaking as she held his face firmly. "Oh my god, you did. You did get out... what did you see?"

"I didn't mean to see anything, I thought I heard someone crying out." He said it just above a whisper, and he eyed the white tile under his feet. However, he knew her reaction was bad from how she was now gripping into his shoulders instead of his cheeks.

"You thought you heard someone?" She asked hesitantly, and he nodded.

"Yes. You were crying out, but not in the way that I had originally thought..."

"Oh my god, are you serious? Are you shitting me, Gaara?! How could you just... wait... how long did you watch?" She grabbed his face roughly again, and forced him to look into her eyes. Those eyes that reminded him so much of Yashimaru.

"From what I assume was the middle, to you storming out. When you started to come to the door I hid behind the trash can." Gaara breathed harshly, and all of his nerves were on end as this woman forced the truth out of him. She grimaced for a moment before focusing back on him.

"What he said about using patients for sex, please know that I wasn't going to use you. I don't sleep with my patients." Sakura was on the verge of tears, but he felt bitter about the whole situation, and it showed on his face.

"No, instead you get fucked by rejected jocks who treat you like you are nothing but a used tissue. If you actually slept with your patients you might be happier than you are with some one-pump chump." After it came out of his mouth he felt nothing, but shame. The redhead didnt know why it came out like that, but it just did. He could see the hurt on her face, and he didn't want to have anything in common with a guy like Tomo. He didn't want to hurt her in any way, and yet he just did. "Sakura, I didnt mean to insult you. You are a great person, and yes I almost killed that man because of how horribly he treated you. I would do it again in a heartbeat. If I caused you pain-?"

All he could concentrat on in that moment was how quickly she had kissed him. Her lips were soft, and warm, and her hands tangled wonderfully into his hair.

Finally, this dream was going to get good.

The kiss was firm, but it wasn't open. He wanted so badly for her to open her mouth for him, but she just wouldn't. He went to reach for her, but the straps held him back, and he struggled. She noticed him straining against his straps, and pulled away shyly.

'no..No...NO...'

"I'm sorry, Gaara. I don't know where that came from..." Sakura looked at the ground, and he groaned from the lack of having her on him. When she locked eyes with him after being alerted by the sound he felt an overwhelming urge to revert to instinct.

"Release my bonds, and I will show you exactly where it came from." Gaara practically growled, and she raised a well groomed brow at him before backing away with a light blush.

"I think you need to go back to your room." She said it monotonously, as if she were trying to detach from him, and it made him recoil.

He wasn't expecting that reaction. Last night he knew what she wanted...but now...

She opened the door, and held a steady hand out in a gesture for him to walk ahead of her. He hung his head in shame, and followed her order without question.

The walk back was even more uneventful. Even Sasuke had left the hall by that point. He stopped at his door, and looked into it. It was a cell, and he felt caged like an animal.

"Gaara, if you're good... I might let you outside later. I'll get someone to bring you breakfast." Sakura tried to smile for him, but it was plainly forced.

'She's...leaving...'

"I thought you were monitoring me today?" Gaara eyed her cautiously, and she shook her head cueing his disappointment.

"Only when you are out of this room. It would be innapropriate for me to be in here alone with you without a male staff member." She said it mechanically, and he sighed resigning to his fate. He had forced her hand in this by getting too worked up, and he knew she was having many regrets at the moment. Perhaps some space would be good for both of them.

He flopped onto his bed like a dead fish, seeing as he was unable to move his arms, and he tried to rest his eyes. "I'll be back in a couple hours. Remember to eat."

He heard the door shut, and lock. Once again, he felt liked a prisoner.

Gaara sighed, awaiting sleep with great anticipation.

This was the worst dream yet.

 **AN: OKAY! For real now, the next chapter has a real warning on it, and it might make you feel a tad queezy (I felt sick writing it) or you might just have a very disturbing fetish that you should probably talk to a therapist about. At any rate, the next one is not going to make Gaara lover's very happy...you have been thoroughly warned.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I realize I'm posting these rather fast, but it' because they've been written for a while and I am going through each one for extra editing. Anyways... ATTENTION, WARNING, CAUTION, ETC: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MOLESTATION AND RAPE TRIGGERS. I DONT WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY FORMS OF PTSD, SO PLEASE TAKE THIS WARNING VERY SERIOUSLY. I want my readers safe, so if descriptive sexual assault content triggers you then please skip this chapter.**

 **EDIT: I have come to the realization that any names I use with a Dr. Mr. Mrs. Etc. are being deleted when I post new chapters on here. I've figured out the problem (apparently i have to add a space for the word to translate on here from my notes), but please know that it was totally not me just randomly cutting names lmao**

Breakfast came, and went. Gaara waited like a dog at the window, only he was muzzled while his master was away.

She wasn't coming back. Or at least not until much later; he felt it in his bones.

He did, however, learn something completely random today. Ino worked here in this world too, but she was only a head nurse rather than a full doctorate. He had that revealed to him when the blonde entered with his lunch barely an hour ago.

She claimed that he would be in her care until Sakura returned from the hospital down the road. Ino was certainly one for gossip, as she explained that his doctor had to go sign some official statements over how he had almost murdered Tomo.

Gaara felt a sliver of guilt for the trouble he caused, but he didn't regret cracking the man's skull. He would do it again in a heartbeat.

Ino also asked him about his relationship with Sakura, and he realized then that she wasn't just a gossip; this woman thrived on drama. The redhead assured her that his relationship with Sakura was a professional one, and strangely the blonde seemed even more interested; which was the opposite reaction to what he actually wanted.

Gaara was relieved that he was alone now, and let the silence of the room envelope him gladly.

Well, it was as silent as one could hope in an institution like this. He didn't remember anyone outside, so he wasn't sure if he had been acquainted with his fellow wingmates, but he could hear them shreiking at all hours of the day; making it known that other people did occupy the rooms around him.

The redhead found it strange though that when the other patients would scream, or cry, no one would come to help them. The guards, orderlies, and nurses would completely ignore the sounds while going about their work. The only time they did stop to scold, or sedate was when they were personally attacked, or insulted. It sickened him how detached these people were. Someone could get away with murder, and no one would be the wiser.

Someone could get away with promiscuity too... as that was the second most popular sound that resonated in the halls. Sakura was not wrong when she said that they housed many chronic masturbators, and said deviants would use the act to disturb others, or attempt to gain attention from anyone outside their door. The language some of them used had brushed off on him, and sometimes he hated himself for lowering his thoughts to their level, but he couldn't lie about the behavior being disgustingly contagious.

Gaara rested on his bed, laying on his side to peer up at his tiny window set up too high for him to truly peer out. He wanted to go outside, but the promise Sakura previously made brought disappointment rather than joy. He surrendered to depression, and accepted that he was just going to be stuck forever in this maddening prison for fractured minds.

A click at the door had him sitting up straight like a well trained dog. He had done this every time the sound occured, and he acknowledged how stupid it was for him to be that excited for her eventual return.

But the person wasn't Sakura; the person who came in wasn't one he was expecting to see here. In fact, this person made his insides churn.

"Ah, you seem to be alert today. How fun." Orochimaru's voice carried with it's usual sickeningly sensual tone. The man was dressed in a white lab coat, much like the other doctors, and his hair was pulled back in a low ponytail. His clothes underneath were professional, but his smile didn't match the intended look.

For some odd reason a pang of fear went through the redhead. As if his body knew something that his mind didn't. He had never felt threatened by the sanin before, so why now?

"Hmm, you seem to be on edge. Well I suppose almost killing an orderly will do that." The serpent-like man started to roll up the sleeves of his coat until they were just past his elbows, and his forearms were just as pale as his snakish face.

"What do you want, Orochimaru?" Gaara spoke firmly, channeling his kazekage confidence, and the man who poisoned his living space was slightly taken aback.

"Oh, now this is certainly rich. Did she really get you to start talking? Wow, she must have some wonderful talents, that Haruno." He shut the door behind him.

No. Something was strange about it. The redhead desperately wanted that door to remain open. He didn't want to be locked in with this freak. The male doctor moved over to where Gaara as sitting on the bed, and the redhead felt something wriggling inside his guts like a warning. Orochimaru sat on the edge, and the patient felt his body urgently warn him that he was too close. Part of him wanted to growl, and spit at the man to get him to leave, but he couldnt understand why he felt like he was in so much danger.

Something was horribly wrong here, and Gaara knew he was going to find out why very soon. He could sense an approaching storm, but he tried to breathe as calmly as was possible in his strait jacket.

"Don't you fret, that man has quit without a two weeks notice. He's absolutely terrified of you, my little Tanuki-"

"Don't call me that." The redhead bristled at the pet name, and wanted nothing more than to run out of there like a bat out of hell. When the snake brushed some of his red hair away from the kanji on his forehead he recoiled in disgust.

He needed to leave. This was wrong, it was wrong. He needed to go. He had to get out of there. Get away from this man.

The patient paled, and started to hyperventilate.

The male doctor was looking him over with interest, and it was something Gaara had never experienced before in his life. The fact that he was restrained by the strait jacket made the man's presence that much more threatening, but Orochimaru had never shown much interest in the redhead; with the exception of using him as a weapon against Konoha.

Getting looked over to see how useful you are is one thing, but the way this man looked at him now made him start shaking violently.

"You look like a tanuki, and you act like one too. What with your adventurous nightly escapades with our lovely Dr. Haruno ..." Orochimaru gave a dark smile. Gaara did not want this man anywhere near him. He needed to leave. He needed to leave. He needed to leave. HE NEEDED TO LEAVE. NOW. HE HAD TO ESCAPE.

"I wonder if you make the same noises for her that you do for me..."

Gaara visibly paled while bile rose in his throat to burn his esophagus. His head twitched, and his eyes widened while looking at the white sheets beneath him.

This was not real. It couldn't be real. This place was a figment of his imagination.

The redhead finally realized why his intuition had been warning him. His blood felt cold in his veins, and it almost seemed as if his vision was beginning to tilt to view the world at an angle. The room was slowly turning on its side, but he wasn't leaning to make it happen.

Gaara was having a mental breakdown. A full blown panic attack that tightened his airways, and chest. He felt like he was having a real heart attack as his hands, and feet started to go numb.

He was frozen to his spot, unable to move out of pure fear, and disbelief. This had never happened to him before, and he felt sick when he tried to grasp at memories he had seemed to repress.

Flashes; small things that he had forgotten in this world. Nightmares that made his insomnia worse than what it should have been. It was here. This freakish madness was one of many horrible roots connected to this moment. That man's snake like tongue, his villainous eyes, and a voice as slick as oil.

'I'm going to die. I'm going to fucking die here. God help me.'

"Wake up-wake up-wake up-" The red head closed his coal rimmed eyes, and tried rocking himself as if it would return him to his original world. When he felt a hand on his thigh he knew that the chant wouldn't work. He kicked at the foreign appendage with a yelp attempting to back away, but the evil man grabbed the straps of his jacket to pull him back into the fold of danger.

"No...please..." His voice failed him, and he found he couldn't cry out properly for anyone to hear him due to his fear. The dark man smiled, all the while petting his red hair in a loving way, but this was not love. It wasn't.

"Don't be like that my little Tanuki, I brought you a special treat today from my lab. I know how much you love my treats." A pinching sensation went through the jacket, and into his deltoid. Gaara cried at the sensation, and struggled regardless that it was futile. He had to fight, he had to claw at the man until his very last breath. He had to.

Orochimaru's so called 'treats' must have been some sort of arrangement of drugs, and the redhead panicked as they instantly started to calm the muscles he needed to fight with.

"Now, this one I made up just for you. Surprising, I know, but when I heard that Dr. Haruno had her fangs in you I just simply couldn't handle it. I liked that exotic face of yours before she did, and I'm pretty sure I know what you like-"

"Get the...fuck away...you snake..." Gaara suddenly felt fatigued, but his senses were also heightened. His skin felt irritated by his clothing, and his mouth was unusually watered. He felt slightly drunk, but the sensations were overwhelming him.

This did not feel good, it felt awful. The vision of Orochimaru began to make trails, and his voice echoed around like he was surrounded by the man. Gaara felt like puking.

"Oooh, so feisty today. Usually you're so quiet! It's enticing hearing you speak; you sound so rough. That's just how I like you though, especially when I'm finished with you." Orochimaru leaned over, and bit his captive's neck. The redhead yelped at the burning pain, and the doctor went to work on untieing his pants. "You should be feeling quite vigorated. My little cocktail can do an incredible number on your libido."

"STOP!...stop...st...op..." The redhead felt his world start to turn, and the increasing dizziness made him out of breath, and mental clarity. He felt the man's hand slip under his waistband, and all he could do was wait for this to be over. He felt lifeless.

Gaara stopped trying; lost all hope of rescue, and it strangely felt freeing knowing he couldn't do anything about it anymore.

When he was firmly handled, the sensation was too much. It was more painful than it was pleasurable, and the saddest part was that Gaara was thankful that he felt pain instead of pleasure. He didn't want it to feel good. He didn't want to remember it that way. When stroked, he winced at the painful sensation, but his body recognized it, and began the motions of going through sexual stimulation regardless of what was being sent to his brain.

"I can never get you to do what I want, and I haven't been inside you yet. I wanted to wait for a special time for that to happen. I think today might be good, seeing as I have competition now." Orochimaru hissed into his ear, and the redhead felt true terror.

Orochimaru was going to rape him, and he couldn't stop him.

"Hu...rts...n-no..." Gaara pleaded numbly, and the fiendish man was taken aback yet again.

"You're in pain? God damnit, I thought this compound would act a little differently, but I guess it needs to be fine tuned." He gave him another firm stroke, and the redhead keeled over at how much it burned him regardless of the muscular numbing drugs. It was pure agony. "Shit. This won't do at all. I don't get off unless you do; I'm quite generous that way."

Gaara praised every god in existence right at that moment. He was safe.

Orochimaru removed his hand, and eyed Gaara curiously. It were as if he were sizing him up for another one of his experiments. The redhead couldn't meet his gaze, and thoroughly zoned out as he started to sweat from the pain. He couldn't form words, but the sensation was hurting him horribly. All he could do was stare; when he'd open his mouth to try to speak his saliva would grow thick, and pour past his lips down his chin.

"I'll come back at a later date once I've improved the drug. Don't worry my little Tanuki, it will be better next time I promise you. I hate to see you in pain." The snake leaned in, and grabbed his face firmly to plant a kiss on his captive's lips. The redhead grimaced in disgust, and fought to keep his mouth closed until the beast backed away. "Hmm, I'll have to add in something else to make you more aroused. You're not taking to any of my advances today!"

"Fu...ck...y..ou..." Gaara drooled, and Orochimaru smirked darkly.

"I'll see you later my darling; I think I hear Sasuke calling. He's very jealous of you. That silly boy doesn't understand that he's my favorite, but I desire variety so he'll just have to deal with it." The monster stood, and made his way to the door, but turned to give one last stab at the redhead. "By the way, since you're so chatty now, if you tell Sakura any of this I will slip poison into her food. So keep your pretty mouth shut."

Gaara let out a strangled scream as the man exited, and the door shut behind him. The redhead screamed his lungs bloody until the effects of the drug fatigued him to the point of which he couldn't sit upright anymore. He tipped lifelessly onto his side, and drooled onto his bedding. Once again, incapacitated by chemicals.

He felt so sick, but at least he hadn't been literally fucked by the man, sickening it may be, but he was relieved none the less.

The redhead had laid there unable to move for a long time, and he slipped in and out of sleep, but was unable to return to Suna. He just wanted to get the hell out of here, it was too real.

That man's hand on his genitals felt too real. It was too much. He hated it. He wanted death. He wanted to dissapear.

"Gaara?" A soft voice entered his ears, and he almost cried. He didn't hear her come in, but he was so relieved to see her kneeling in front of him in the light of a setting sun. She seemed worried. "What happened to you?"

When he didn't respond she chose to flash a light into his eyes. He didn't know if his eyes did anything, but he knew the light hurt.

"Who sedated you?" Sakura gently ran her hand through his sweaty hair, and the sensation was still heightened, but not as much as before. Her hand was more than welcome to touch him, and he inhaled the scent of her fresh perfume on her slender wrist. He was so thankful she was here.

'I will slip poison into her food' He couldn't tell her the truth. He couldn't tell her who it was that did this to him less she get hurt. He would risk having that man shove his disgusting hands in his pants again over the thought of her death.

"Didn't...see his...face..." Gaara felt a tear fall down his cheek, but he didn't have the urge to cry. He wondered if it was an effect of the drug.

When she saw it she went into panic mode, and held him upright at arms length. She looked him up, and down when finally she noticed his pants were in disarray.

Something they both knew he couldn't do without removing the jacket.

"Did they touch you?" Sakura stroked a motherly hand across his damp head, and neck. He didn't want to lie to her, and he wanted out of this disgusting room more than anything at the moment. He nodded slowly, and she looked like her heart had been crushed. "No no no! Oh god, no- I should have been here!"

When she held him tight, and started to cry he felt absolutely horrible. This wasn't her fault, she shouldn't have to feel pain over this.

"Don't...cry...please..." His head felt heavy, and slunk down onto her shoulder. She shook her head violently at him.

"They can't treat you this way. They can't fucking do this!" Sakura hissed through her teeth, and then proceeded to take off the straight jacket. He watched as best as he could as her fingers shakily fumbled with the buckles, but he was begining to feel better as each one detached. The restraining article was violently yanked at to get it loose, and he swayed every which way that she pulled until he was released from it completely. She chucked the jacket with rage. "I'll get you out of here!"

Without responding she pulled his arm over her shoulder, and she began to walk him out of the room. She made her way down the hall with him, but had to stop a few times from how heavy he was. He wanted to tell her to stop, but he also knew she was his only chance at freedom. When they finally came to the end she found a wheelchair and lowered him into it.

"We are leaving. It's okay now. I won't let this happen to you ever again." Sakura pushed his chair, and he felt everything lurch back. She was walking quickly, and with the effects of the drugs everything blurred as they went past.

"I'm...sorry..." Gaara said softly, and he didnt know if she could hear him.

"Don't. I left you here unattended so that makes me responsible." They rounded a corner, and he saw doors in the distance. "I had to go to the hospital to fill out paperwork for Tomo, and I thought you would be okay. I am so fucking stupid!"

"Not...your fault..." He attempted to say more but the chair lurched forward when she stopped them at the front desk.

"I'm signing out Sabaku, Gaara. I will be taking him into my own personal care." Sakura stated it as an inarguable fact, but the receptionist shook her head.

"Dr. Haruno, he's under strict watch. He can't leave until he's proven to be-"

"His watch wasn't strict enough then! He's been drugged, suffering terrible side effects, and has been sexually assaulted by the staff! This is no longer a safe environment for him, and I will take him away by force if need be!" She barked at the girl, but the receptionist shook her head violently.

"He can't go. It's more important that he stay here than having the opportunity to hurt more people-!"

"That's not your fucking decision to make! I am his doctor, and his environment is unsta-!"

"Sakura! Enough!" A blonde woman approached them hotly, and he recognized her as none other than Tsunade.

He was thankful she was the one in charge.

"Forgive me, Dr. Senju , but my patient has been-"

"Oh I am well aware about you, and your patient. You, and Mr. Sabaku can join me in my office. Immediately." The blonde glared at him, and suddenly he didn't know if he was going to like the Tsunade here. He tried to move his head to look at Sakura, but he could hardly lift it let alone turn it.

Sakura surrendered, wheeling him slowly to the elevator, and they went up several floors to the top. The ride was quiet, and he felt a rising sickness envelope him. Whatever this drug was, it was trying to kill him.

They exited; moving down another hall, and he felt like he was going to vomit.

"Sakura...I need...a bag..." His breath labored to keep the contents of his stomach down, and both of the women turned to him curiously. Sakura realized immediately; acting fast, and found a plastic bag on the back pocket of the wheelchair. She opened it before giving it to him, and he proceeded to heave into it.

Neither of the women cringed, or sympathy puked, or even panicked. They must see this sort of thing often, because they treated it like it was common.

Sakura looked slightly worried, but she ran a soothing hand up, and down his back. It made him feel better, but it also made him vomit more for some odd reason. He was certain that he had lost just about everything he had ate that day, and he was pouring with sweat until it dripped into his eyes.

Tsunade bent down to check his pulse, and looked at his eyes. When her brows furrowed sternly he began to wonder just what it was she was thinking.

"He's very ill." She stated plainly, and Sakura scoffed.

"No ma'am, he's been drugged with something we don't normally use. The effects aren't normal, and the come down is far to harsh for any of our sedatives. It's either street, or an inside mixture." Sakura handed him some tissues, and he cleaned himself up as best as he could, but when she remained unsatisfied she took over like a mother would her dirty toddler; wiping at his chin, and nose. "They drugged him, and touched him-okay, Gaara, blow for me; there we go-I don't know exactly what was done, but I've never seen him like this. He's never this weak." She straightened, and threw away the used tissue into a different plastic bag.

"Alright then, save that vomit I want it analyzed. I'll get Dr. Yashagoro to-"

"We can't have him do it, Orochimaru Yashagoro is a suspect. We need to get it tested outside the facility." Sakura ordered, and Tsunade gave her a look of warning before sighing. The redhead bristled at the name, and almost felt sick again. Sakura seemed to notice, and opened a fresh bag for him, while taking the used one away while also sealing it in a biohazard container. She wrote on the container with her pen before handing it off to Tsunade.

"Okay. We'll have our sister facility test it. I myself will ready the samples." She took the vomit, and Gaara almost felt like laughing over how seriously they were treating a puke bag, but his body didn't even know how to process humor at the moment. "C'mon, We'll talk more in my office. We'll get some ginger tea in the junkie."

This was shaping up to be a horrible night, but the promise of a stomach easing, warm tea made him actually look forward to something. Thank god for tea.

"So I've heard some questionable things about you, and Gaara here. I'm hoping they aren't true but the camera footage says differently." Tsunade proceeded to play a tape on a small television set she had wheeled into the room earlier. The film showed Sakura coming out of Gaara's room, and them having what seemed like a casual conversation.

"Nothing happened! I was just checking on him..." His doctor gave a half truth, and he had already known that her intentions were not pure when she had originally come to see him.

They waited as the next scene played out, and Tomo made his grand moronic entrance with his fit of laughter, and pointed repeatedly at the two of them. There was no audio, but it was obvious from when he'd bend back to catch a breath that he was laughing quite hard.

"So, what was said, Sakura?" Tsunade stopped the tape as both victim's faces in the video had turned to pure rage. She crossed her arms waiting for a response, and Sakura had to look at the ground shamefully.

"He had...accused us of having relations..." Gaara started, and his doctor looked at him fearfully. "We weren't...it was...just talking..." He struggled to get his words out, and took a sip of his tea to try to clear his throat. Tsunade watched him like a hawk as he gulped down the contents in his cup.

"Well, you see Gaara, I think there is more to it then that." The blonde's voice was stern. "There was some footage before this... of you sneaking around the halls not too far from your dear doctor here. I'd call that more than just curiousity."

"You don't know...what I had witnessed before that." He finally found enough strength to carry the conversation, but Sakura didn't seem to notice his health as she gave him a firm tap on the shoulder to shut him up.

"Ah, more late night rendezvous with Tomo then. I see you caught her in the act, it's not the first time she's been caught." Tsunade glared at the younger doctor, and she sunk lower into her seat with her hand over her eyes to avoid scrutiny. "At any rate, I still want more details. What exactly did Tomo say for you, Gaara, to actually try to murder the guy?"

Gaara looked over at Sakura for some sort of insurance, but she remained completely blocked off with her hand over her eyes. He decided to tell the truth.

"Before any of this, Tomo had told her to go sleep with one of her patients...since he refused to return her affections with interest." He said it as politely as he could, but both women were immediately all ears. "She was distraught, and came to me to talk since earlier that day I had requested that when I am sane she treat me as a friend, and equal. So naturally, I was her first choice for validation."

"That's oddly kind of you, and not like your normal behavior at all." Tsunade bit at him, but he ignored it to keep going with the story.

"Tomo thought that she had chosen me as a sexual partner, and proceeded to taunt us. I am not offended by him referring to me as pea-brained, retarded, insane, or ugly. However, to compare a respectable woman, like Sakura, to that of a loose whore is crossing the line. I expect to be called horrible things, but she should not. It was sick how he was treating her, and I absolutely loathe rude people." He finished with a scowl, and Tsunade refilled his teacup much to his surprise. For a moment he swore the blonde had cracked a smile.

"I can't say I don't agree with you, but you did almost kill him. So unfortunately you cannot leave." She took a step back to put the teapot down, and looked over at Sakura carefully. "This is your fault, Haruno. I told you so many times not to get involved with that man, but you didn't listen. Now Gaara is paying for it, because he decided to fight for your ignorant ass!"

The room felt tense with shame from the guilty party, and the redhead felt like he was back in his father's house.

"Yes, ma'am. I understand it is my fault." Sakura bowed her head shamefully, and allowed this woman to tear her a new one. He wanted to stick up for her again, but he knew that doing so would hurt their cause.

Tsunade played the tape again, and it kicked off with Gaara pummeling the guy in the stomach. He swore he heard her snicker when his fist hit the back of Tomo's skull, making him hit the floor hard.

"Oh I'm going to play that on repeat for a whole month." The comment made Gaara form a soft smile. "Glad he's gone, but you are still in deep shit, Sabaku. We can blame it on your mental health, but that means you can't leave here for at least another three months. You'll also have to be put on medication to keep you calm, and yes you do have to take it as it's a requirement for your release." The blonde thumbed through a manilla file making some notes here, and there. Gaara's gaze changed, and watched intrigued as the Sakura on the television frantically injected his deltoid with sedative. When his video self looked back at her on the screen she seemed to look as if she instantly regretted her action. He had hit the ground, and his doctor kneeled next to him with a flashlight to check his eyes.  
Then something rather strange happened, her body started to shake like she were laughing-no, she was crying. Sakura was holding his numbed hand, and crying. "Oh whoops! Shouldn't have let it play that far. Our little Dr. Haruno almost always cries after she has to put a patient down; bothersome, but her sympathy is refreshing."

Gaara looked over at his doctor in disbelief, and she looked away from him to avoid judgement. The woman had been a bleeding heart all along, but she hid it incredibly well. His faith in her strengthened considerably.

"No one has ever done that for me. Cry, I mean, but it does not go unappreciated." The redhead bowed his head kindly to Sakura, and she remained in complete shock. Tsunade broke the silence with a hearty laugh.

"Its not the first time, Gaara, she cries every time she has to sedate you, specifically. It happened often for her first year here, but you managed to settle down a bit. However, I think this one hurt her for other reasons. No one wants to put down the people that stick up for them, so I can't imagine how she felt doing that." The blonde started to ramble, and he just kept staring at Sakura. He had apparently caused her a lot of grief in this world, and he knew he had to make it up to her. "Ah, I forgot the fact that you two knew each other before you got sent here. I believe I remember her telling me a story about how this one time in the woods outside of your middle school-"

"Tsunade! Please do not talk about that incident. It might interfere with my work with him." Sakura interrupted her, but the woman shrugged.

'We...knew each other?'

"He seems to be in a good mindset now. I don't know why, but whatever you are doing it's working." Tsunade turned off the television, and motioned them to the door. "You're dismissed."

"But, Gaara isn't safe here!" His doctor stood up abruptly to argue, but the blonde shook her head at her protege.

"He can't leave, so you'll just have to keep a better eye on him. I'll keep in touch with you about the samples, and the results." She began motioning for them to leave, and Sakura pushed the redhead's wheel chair over to the door. She opened her mouth to begin arguing again, but Tsunade interrupted her. "Sakura, I will check out the security footage from today, and get to the bottom of this. Please trust that whoever is doing this will be exposed, and punished. If you are truly worried that the person who did this will attack him again tonight, then he can either sleep in your office or you can stay overnight to keep an eye on him if that's not enough for you. I trust you are not having relations with him, but if there is any proof about it then I'll have to set up a camera in his room. Do you understand?"

It went silent between them as his doctor thought over her options. She looked at him in deep thought, and he felt sorry for putting her through so much trouble. She finally nodded in agreement, and then pushed him out into the hall closing the door behind her.

Gaara wanted to ask her about the incident that Tsunade had tried to tell him about, but decided that Sakura had been through enough tonight, and he would bring it up at a later date.

Something was happening, and he was growing attached to her. Everything here was so different then home, and even though it was a nightmare, it was still a different change of pace. A different way to see humanity in all of its glory, and ugliness.

He wanted to know more; He wanted to know her.

 **AN: I don't want any flames, but I know a great deal you will most likely hate what I'm making the characters go through. This is more of a dark drama then a romance, so the focal point is on more trauma than love. However, love is a very healing thing, so it will of course be added in. Have faith in me dear readers, you will still get smut and fluff :3**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: OKAY trying to go through previous chapters and fix the "missing names" problem that fanfiction decided to curse me with (I hate their code... it's not the first time its happened either...Don't usually catch it until it' too late) but it might take a while because their are a lot of names with Dr. Ms. Mr. Etc. SO IT KIND OF FUCKING SUCKS.**

 **ANYWAYS...this has some smut, and some strange sexual scenarios (enjoy that! nyuk nyuk nyuk) But also some coping stuff due to the previous chapter. This one isn't as scary either, so you can breathe easy for a minute ;)**

Sakura had wheeled him into a room he wasn't too familiar with, but it had many faucets as well as tubs. He assumed it was for bathing, and thankfully his assumption was correct.

"A nice warm bath should help hydrate you. You've got that tea inside you now, and if your comfortable we can try water, but at the very least soaking will help you hydrate just a little bit more. Plus you've been sweating like crazy..." She circled around, and kneeled in front of him. She removed his socks, and his shirt, but left his pants on. "If you're fine being alone for a moment I will go find you some new clothes. If you want to remove your clothing, and enter the bath by yourself you are more than welcome to."

"You've seen me naked before, it shouldn't be an issue-"

"It's different now. It would be... unprofessional." Sakura stood to walk away from the situation, but before she disappeared he could see a flattering blush grace her cheeks.

Ah, yes, it would be unprofessional now. He had almost forgotten that she had kissed him that morning. She had kissed him, and he was so worked up by it that he practically growled at her for more. He began to hate himself more as time passed here.

Gaara took a few wobbling steps, and used some of the handles available on the walls for stability so he could remove his pants, and undergarments. He shook his head to try to get blood flow back to his brain, but the fog of those drugs he had been given still dulled him. He felt only slightly tipsy now, but that strange sensitive feeling still tingled along his skin, however it was no longer painful. In fact it was rather euphoric now.

He removed his pants, but realized quickly that his undergarments were wet. At first he felt a rush of anger thinking the drugs made him eliminate in his sleep, but then he saw that it was certainly not urine. It was a substance only men could make.

He didn't want her to see this.

In an attempt to hide them he crumpled up the underwear, and untied his newer vomit trash bag to stuff them in there. Hopefully she wouldn't notice the garment amongst the filthy tissues, and just throw them all out.

Feeling a bit safer, he ran the bath. As it filled he stumbled over to the showering area, and turned on that faucet as well. He let the hot water rush over him before he opened his mouth to let it clean his teeth, and tongue. He gargled for a moment before spitting the water out; he repeated this process in between swishing until he felt his mouth had been thoroughly rinsed out.

He grabbed some soap with a washcloth, and scrubbed his body so intensely that it made red marks along his skin. He didn't raise any blood, but he scrubbed hard enough for it to be irritated. He did this with every part that Orochimaru had touched, and his genitals certainly didn't appreciate it especially in their current condition.

Gaara wanted it gone, he wanted to just wash it away; he felt disgusting. He grunted painfully, and tried to scrub hard at his neck, but two hands ripped the washcloth out of his hands. The redhead flipped around to see his doctor furrowing her slender brows at him worriedly, and she reached past him almost violently to turn off the water.

"It doesn't work that way. So don't do that, you'll just hurt yourself." Sakura was stern, but her voice trembled. As if she were stating it from experience.

His heart sunk at that thought, and he remembered that this was something women frequently had to deal with. Harassment, molestation, rape... He was horribly embarrassed by it, and he almost wished she hadn't found him.

He didn't want her to see him weak like this; in fact, he didn't want anyone to see him like this.

"Go get in the bath, Gaara. We're not supposed to, but I'll wash your hair for you." She nodded more to herself than to him, and he would allow her to do it. He slipped into the one person tub, and she fastened a rubber mat over the top so that only his head and shoulders would be exposed. He gave a hard look at the material, and he thought he heard her giggle. "It's for steam baths, to get patients to sweat. It's called hydrotherapy, but it's kind of archaic. However, for detoxification switching between hot, and cold water has proven to be very effective."

She smoothed something over his collar, and shoulders, and it smelled extremely earthy. He believed it was called lavender, an herb that relaxes the mind, and body. He tilted his head back to look up at her, and she shyly avoided his gaze.

"How does it work?" Gaara spoke coarsely with fatigue, and she seemed to relax at his question.

"When the body is provided with heat the blood vessels open, and the blood rushes to the surface of your body to cool it down." Her hand absentmindedly smoothed over the top half of his pecks, and he breathed the aromatic herbal scent in deeply. "Then the patient is introduced to cold, and the blood rushes back inside to warm the organs. This act of flushing back, and forth has a detoxifying effect. Some patients with severe eczema have been treated like this, and it's proven effective. Same with all sorts of other diseases or illnesses, the body cleans you out all by itself with no medicine. Just by using hot, and cold."

Sakura moved her hands slowly up the back of his neck, and massaged his scalp. He couldn't help the pleasant groan that escaped his lips, and when she paused her actions his eyes darted to her own.

She looked so still, emotionless like a doll.

"I'm sorry... its different. Being nurtured, I mean..." Gaara blinked hazily at her, and her emotionless face quickly flushed pink with embarrassment.

"Oh. Yeah, nurture. Like a mother, I suppose..." Sakura looked off to the side to avoid him, but he raised a naked brow at her nonetheless.

"Did you think I was in a different mindset?" He decided to throw it out there, and hopefully she didn't find a naked, partially drugged up, exhausted man who was practically locked in a bathtub threatening. When she blushed harder, and stared back into his eyes incredulously he almost couldn't help smiling.

"Men are always in that mindset." She mumbled mostly to herself, but he heard it nonetheless.

"I believe you think about it more than I do." Gaara smirked knowingly at her, and she started to huff more to his amusement.

"Do you realize how many times I've looked at your penis today? I feel like I've seen more of you today than I have in our whole time together." Sakura barked defensively, and he let out a genuine laugh.

"It's not my fault you choose to look." His eyes glimmered humorously, and hers returned the look with interest.

"Its hard not to when you're holding a raging boner in your hand. The erection you had this morning would make even the most sinister woman blush." She shot it at him hard, and snickered when his cheeks visibly pinked.

He didn't want to do it, but for some reason his mouth just started running without his consent.

"Perhaps you should have just asked me for it like you wanted to last night." Gaara immediately regretted opening his mouth when her expression dropped back into her emotionless one. Her eyes shifted off to the side, and he knew that he had crossed the boundary yet again. "I'm sorry, Sakura... that was..."

"No. You are right. That was my original intention." At her confession her hands shivered, and he could tell the topic was nearly physically hurting her. "I was going to treat you like an animal, and have sex with you. Like that man today..."

"No. Not like him. You wouldn't do that." Gaara argued, and she shook her head violently. He felt droplets land on his cheeks as she leaned her face over his own. Her eyes squinted shut, and she started to sob. As horrifying as it was, watching her cry from that angle, and in such close proximity was strangely beautiful. It was like he was truly seeing her, and this was what she looked like inside. He relaxed, and let her cry as hard as she needed to.

"What makes you think that I wouldn't?! That's what I had come to you for! I would have force-!"

"You didn't force me." The redhead interrupted her sternly, and she opened her teary eyes to look at him cautiously. "When I saw you with Tomo... When I saw that he couldn't... care for you... I wanted..." He bit his lip, and turned his head shamefully to the side. He could hear her still attempting to get her crying under control, but it sounded similar to when she was in that man's embrace. The memory was clear, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to reveal himself to her.

"What did you want, Gaara?" Sakura wiped her eyes, and decided she was going to cling to the white towel that was meant for him. He could tell she was nervous, and since she could admit that she had wanted to sleep with him than why couldn't he?

"I wanted to knock him out, and take his place. He wasnt...doing it right..." He felt flustered, and decided he wanted to dip his head down into the water. When he tried this she seemed to panic, and grabbed his face in her hands before he could slip under the water. He stared at her wide eyed, and she blinked blearily at him with her tears still gracing her thick lashes. She looked like a nymph rising out of a lake. He felt another confession bubble out of him. "You're so beautiful..."

Sakura inhaled, and he wanted more than anything to touch her, but he was confined by the rubber tarp covering the tub. Her fingers slunk beneath the water behind his head, and splayed into his flowing red locks as they floated in the steaming bath. He could see her chest clearly, and even with her breasts pressed together like they were he could still see her heart hammering away.

His flesh tingled with the hopes of having her, though he knew it was just a sultry dream that wouldn't come true. Yet, his hope flourished when she leaned further down. He brought himself slowly up out of the water, and could only get to the point where her lips ghosted his own. Her fingers traced his face, and trickled down his neck causing him to shiver. He breathed in her scent, and bit his lower lip in anticipation. Finally she lowered herself a bit more, and kissed him in an upside down fashion.

Gaara breathed hotly at the feeling of her, and the heat of the bath. He parted his lips just slightly, and she thankfully opened hers to accept him completely. His tongue ran against her own, and she tasted like a cool drink of water. Her tongue was just as soft as the rest of her, he imagined, and moved in a way that shot him straight through his core. Just when he thought they were getting somewhere she pulled away with widened eyes, and fingers on her lips.

'Damn it.'

"We can't..." Sakura grew rigid, and shook the blood back to her head with a frustrated groan. "Please don't make this any more difficult! I have to watch over you tonight, and I can't be slipping into bed with you!"

He blinked at her, and realized that she had immediately gone from just a kiss to wanting every part of him. As flattered as he was he couldn't help the disappointment that came along with that confession.

However, now he knew he had that power over her, and perhaps eventually he could break her will...

Gaara mentally scolded himself for thinking the way that he was. He very much liked her, and would like to have her around for more than just one night. She was not one night stand material. She was special, and he wanted her to be his first.

"I won't force you into anything, you know that..." The redhead spoke just above a whisper, and she gave a strangled sound in response.

"Don't be nice either! Just... I don't know... act like your old self!" Sakura slammed her hands into his towel, and he rolled that thought around in his head. She needed him to turn her off. So he'd have to pull out something he hadn't felt in a while.

"Are you sure?" Gaara eyed her with an intensity he wasn't sure she was ready for judging by her expression. When she nodded, he closed his eyes to take a breath. "Alright then, but you asked for this. Please understand that."

Before she could even give him a confused response he pushed violently at the rubber mat covering the tub, and it detached by snapping in several places. Sakura could only inhale for a scream before he jumped from the bath to tackle her to the ground. He was soaked, and his wet body was pouring against her dry clothes to quickly dampen them. He pressed her shoulders down, shook out his hair like a dog, then snarled at her like a monster. She looked at him with partial fear, but also with something else he couldn't decipher.

"Sedate me." Gaara hissed through his teeth, and Sakura suddenly remembered that she needed to breathe. Her eyes darted his frame, but she made no movements for the needle in her coat pocket. Why wasn't she sedating him? He was acting like a literal wild beast, but she wasn't even moving. "Sakura! Sedate me!" He growled viciously before pulling at the collar of her shirt with false intent.

She still didn't stop him, but continued to watch as his tugging at her blouse undid a few buttons around her chest. The damp white fabric clung to her frame, and left nothing to the imagination. He leaned down to her neck, and scraped his canines along her jugular.

When she whimpered for him, and arched off the floor to mold her body against his, he almost lost it. He wanted to bite her hard, rip her skirt, and thrust into her harder than any man ever had previously.

However, thank God for his keen hearing or else he wouldn't have heard the footsteps coming down the hall. Had he not stopped at that moment, he most likely would have been caught balls deep, and that wouldn't have turned out well for anyone.

He backed away from her shamefully, and retreated to where his clothing was. Sakura finally recovered as the footsteps grew closer; luckily she had just stood up by the time the door swung open.

"What's going on in here?" A pissed off guard marched through the doors like a stern parent trying to catch their child stealing a cookie from the jar. When he saw Sakura in her partially drowned state the guard went almost into attack mode. "Are you hurt Dr. Haruno?! Did that bastard touch you?!"

'Wow, I'm a bastard now.' Gaara's eyes narrowed with displeasure at the insult as he continued to dress himself.

"I'm fine, Kai. Mr. Sabaku slipped while exiting the bath, and I went to catch him. He's had a rough day." Her lie came out so fluidly that he could have swore it was the truth. He watched carefully as the guard, that he now recognized as the one from earlier, didn't even pay attention to him, but rather stared at Sakura's clinging wet body.

He felt a flare of possessiveness rise up in him, but his doctor seemed to play into the guard's interest. She hugged herself in feigned embarrassment to press her breasts together. "Oh my! I'm so sorry, Kai, I'm a little exposed from the water. Could you perhaps grab me a towel?" She lifted the bottom of her shirt to expose her stomach, and wrung the water out of the fabric much to the guard's delight.

"Sure thing, Ms. Haruno." The man lit up like a christmas tree, and she feigned a laugh that made the redhead cringe in disgust.

"Oh no, please, call me Sakura." Sakura batted her lashes for a moment, and the oaf nodded dumbly before walking out to the laundry section close by.

Gaara let out an irritated laugh, and his beautiful doctor raised a well groomed brow at him.

"What an idiot. That act would never work on me." He turned away to pull his new clean shirt over his head before placing the towel over his wet hair almost like a shawl. When he felt a tap on his shoulder, he merely turned his head to see her very close behind him. She bit her lip, and tugged teasingly at her wet shirt without saying a word.

Okay, so it worked on him too, but he already wanted her. Had it been anyone else he could have easily pushed them away. This woman was special, and he let himself truly take in her image to save for later.

He blushed for a moment before smirking. "I can do that too." He pulled on the bottom of his shirt mimicking her actions, and she started to burst out into laughter.

"Stop! It's too flamboyant when you do it!" Sakura snickered at him, but he went back into his previously relaxed position when he heard the guard returning. The brutish man bursted through the doors excitedly with fresh towels in hand.

"I brought you a towel, do you need a fresh shirt? Another skirt?" As he listed the items the guard shamelessly eyed her like a mutt begging for a piece of meat, and once again the redhead felt dangerously close to hitting the man. In his book only he, Gaara, could look at her in such a way. He almost felt like shielding her.

"Oh no, thank you I'll be fine. I've got to get Mr. Sabaku back to his room for the night. Will you be protecting us this evening?" The woman played into the man's ego flawlessly, and he shined like a big macho golden statue. As much as he hated it, he also found himself impressed with how the idiot ate out of the palm of her hand. She had many skills, in many dimensions.

"Yes ma'am. I'll keep those perverts away from you, guess that's really the only good thing about no-brows here. He's never interested in stuff like that." He rudely pointed at Gaara.

At first he felt irritated by it, but he knew that lashing out at the man would make things very hard for both him, and Sakura. So he did the next best thing, and played himself off as a truly insane person belonging in an asylum.

"My eyebrows...I've lost them? Again?! Doctor! I lost my eyebrows!" The redhead pretended to panic, and at first Sakura balked at his strange display, but then had to make a very strange face to keep from laughing. Thankfully she was able to make it work.

"Oh my God, Kai! Do you know how long it took to get him to come to terms with his browlessness?! Years of work! Ruined!" She guided her 'insane' patient to the wheelchair, and Gaara sat in it despite the fact that he could probably walk. He frantically patted his naked brows like a madman, and almost made his poor doctor lose her cool over the situation. This was most likely the funniest prank she had ever had the pleasure of playing into, and much to the redhead's delight, the guard looked terribly guilty. The man continued to apologize frantically on their way out the door.

"I'm so sorry Dr. Haruno!" Kai sputtered, and she held her head high as she walked out the door. The guard bowed repeatedly, and the two had almost blown it trying to contain their humor, but they trekked past him to make their way back to the bedrooms.

"All of that therapy! So much money down the drain! Oh, we had made so much progress!" She continued to rant all the way down the hall until she knew she was out of earshot. Then after a few more turns down the never-ending walkway, she started practically snorting she was laughing so hard, and the redhead began chuckling with her.

"Doctor! My EYEBROWS!" Gaara finally keeled over with pure glee as the laughter got to be so much he was nearly wheezing. The two lost their cool having to hold onto walls, the chair, or each other in their hysterical state.

"Oh my god... ha! I haven't laughed that hard in so long! Did you see his face when you started freaking out, feeling for your eyebrows!? Priceless!" She had to squat to the floor, and hold her stomach as she hawed. They laughed hard at their prank, and he couldn't stop smiling at her.

"How long did it take me to get over the fact that I have no eyebrows, doctor?" He snickered, and she matched him.

"Years of work! Goooone!" Sakura moaned almost like a cheesy ghost, and once again they both absolutely lost it to fits of giggles.

They stayed there for a while; filling the hall with the sounds of their glee. After a good several minutes they were able to wipe the tears from their eyes, and continue their trek.

She pushed him back to his room giggling here and there, but the second they got to the door his snickers stopped all together. "Gaara?"

His door held a forbodeing energy, and a memory that he didn't want to confront.

"I don't want to go back in there." His breath felt tight in his chest, but he began to ease when he felt her hand on his shoulder.

"I'll stay with you, don't you worry. Okay?" Sakura opened the door cautiously before pushing him into the dark room, and then stepped around his chair to make the bed with fresh sheets for him.

He studied her as she worked, and noticed that her hands were graceful in nearly everything that she did. Her arms were slender, and her legs were long. The short pencil skirt that she wore tightened against her sinfully when she would bend over to reach the other side of his mattress. He knew she wore that skirt for him today, and he bit his lip once again wishing she would just go through with what she truly wanted.

This dream was a nightmare, as well as the best dream he had ever had. He was trapped in it, but there were moments that made him want to sleep forever.

The nightmare part sent a chill down Gaara's spine, and he felt the blood drain from his face once again.

Sakura was kneeling in front of him now; when she got to that position he couldn't say, but her concerned eyes were so beautiful when lit only by the lights in the hallway peeking through his door. He felt afraid of what had happened in this room, but he wanted the same thing to happen again; just with her instead of Orochimaru. He wished she would put that binding jacket on him again, and stay down on her knees while putting her mouth around his-

"Gaara? Are you okay?" Her sparkling voice invaded his mind, and he cursed himself for imagining her like some sort of slutty nurse. He knew it was a common fantasy amongst men, but this was starting to become a problem. She wasn't just some thing he could plow into meaninglessly. She wasn't some fuck toy.

But god did he wish he could ditch that moral code just for a little while... just to get her to lift her skirt a bit more...

'Damn it, Gaara! Stop it!' The redhead mentally slapped himself, and he groaned outwardly in frustration gaining a strange expression from his doctor.

"I was just concerned, you don't need to get upset about it." Sakura soured before sitting on his freshly made bed. His attention finally came rushing back to reality, and he flushed with embarrassment over making it seem as if he were irritated by her.

"No! Sakura, it's not you." Gaara shook his head violently, and her demeanor turned back into concern. His guilt weighed on him, and he put his head in his hands to try to ease the heaviness of it all.

"Tell me, what it is you're thinking about." She started; brushing a lock of pink hair away behind her ear. He tensed at the thought of telling her, but her next words eased him. "Don't worry, you don't have to look at me when we talk. Also, whatever the content is, no matter how explicit, I will not judge you. Your mind is trying to make sense of things, and even if it's confusing to you I can most likely help you figure it all out. Okay?"

Gaara finally eased, and his trust in her flourished yet again. He knew, just by how her tone rang true, that she would not judge him. No matter what, she would still care. Why she cared for him, he didn't know, but wasn't going to ask either.

He took a deep breath, and exhaled carefully.

"I'm stuck right now, and I hate it, but I also love it as well." The redhead began before lifting his head, and closing his dark eyelids to concentrate. "I find myself fantasizing about you. It is not a romantic fantasy, but more sexual. It confuses me because I've never felt the touch of a woman before so I don't understand why I would even want this-"

"Are you certain that you haven't felt the touch of a woman?" Sakura interrupted, and he opened his eyes to see her clearly. She was leaning forward with interest, and it did her cleavage no favors in modesty. She caught him looking, and while a blush did grace her cheeks she coyly took her butterfly clip out of hair, and shook out the shiny pink locks.

Did she even realize how much that teased him? The butterflies in his stomach would not quit for the life of him.

"I don't recall, in this world, being touched by a woman like that, but I know for certain back in my true world it has never happened." Gaara watched tensely as her legs crossed over each other, and he felt the need to look up at the ceiling. "At any rate, I find myself seeing you in that light. Touching me, taking off your clothes, dark role play, rough sex, and putting that cursed strait jacket back on me so I can't fight you while you get what you desire from me..." He breathed harshly just mentioning these thoughts to her, and prayed that she didn't find him to be some sort of sick pervert.

"I'm sorry, did you say you wanted me to put you in a strait jacket, and have my way with you?" She didn't sound the least bit angry, but rather she seemed worried. The redhead lowered his gaze back to her eyes, and felt a strength there that made him feel at ease.

"Yes... in fact it keeps replaying in my head the longer I look at you." Gaara nearly panted as the images became stronger than before, as if he could actually see her doing them right that very second. He felt hot, and almost felt like the floor would be a good place to lay down to keep cool, but he stayed seated in the wheelchair.

Her next words surprised him.

"I'll be right back." Without so much as a reason as to why she was leaving he was left alone. In that room. That room that was slowly cursing him with images of Orochimaru. The redhead wanted to replace him with Sakura, just for a little while. Just to feel less ashamed by it. She was so beautiful, and he could easily let the image of her fuck him senseless until he had nothing left to give.

"God, what is wrong with me?!" Gaara balked at himself as he stood from the chair. He crawled onto his bed, and instantly felt his hair raise on end. This was the spot...

"Gaa-ra~" As if to save him from his own personal hell, Sakura stood in doorway calling him in a sing-song voice. Something was behind her back, but she was concealing it well. "Lights out."

She closed the door, and it was suddenly very dark without the light from the hall. He felt himself tense again, but mostly in confusion as he listened to her heels as they crossed the tiled floor. It was strange that he couldn't see, in his world he had nearly perfect nighttime vision, but he was completely blind in this world's darkness. He felt two hands guide his arms through some sort of fabric, and he quickly realized it as the strait jacket. His pulse quickened as she tightened the straps until his movement was completely immobilized.

This was actually happening.

"How are you feeling?" Sakura's voice sounded very concentrated, and professional. He was rapidly trying to figure out what her plan was since she claimed earlier that she wouldn't do anything sexual with him. He concentrated on her question, and realized the only thing he felt was anxiety.

Well, he felt horny too, but the stress was beginning to overpower that emotion.

"Anxious. Aroused...but anxious..." Gaara felt his hairs stand up again as he felt the bed move. He swallowed hard as he felt her lithe hand run sensually up, and down his thigh. His breathing tightened as she moved to stroke the insides of both of his thighs, and even though part of him was screaming for more there was a whole other part of him that was screaming to stop. "It's confusing...it's confusing me..." He panted this time; half in excitement, and half in complete fear.

"Can you explain why you're feeling confused?" The beautiful doctor spoke casually as if they were back in her office with her sitting in her favorite chair jotting away at her notepad. Did she even want this from him?

"I don't know, I can't tell where it's coming from." The redhead felt his mind begin to fog with lust as she continued to pet at his inner thighs, but the other part of him desperately tried to clear the fog to hammer the nails of caution into his skull. His mouth watered, but his body trembled. It was the most insane combination of emotions he had ever felt, and it almost made him feel sick again.

"How about..." Sakura's warm hand smoothed over his groin while stroking his erection through his pants. "Now?"

Gaara gasped sharply at the sensation expecting it to hurt for some odd reason. He remembered the burning pain from earlier, but the pleasure that flooded his senses made him realize that there was no pain to be had. Yet, still a part of him panicked while the rest of him was relieved just to be touched sensually after such a distressing, and teasing day. Her hand rubbed him once more, and he bucked slightly once again expecting pain, but was pleasantly surprised by the pleasure he received. His head spun with the conflicting emotions, making him feel raw like an exposed wound.

"I don't know... so much...is happening..." The redhead panted hard, and his body trembled violently as she continued her ministrations. He felt a tear run down his cheek, but he didn't understand why. This was so strange.

"What emotions are you feeling right now?" Sakura untied the draw string to his waist band, and suddenly he felt his heart skip painfully.

He was afraid.

"I'm scared... I'm scared it will hurt..." His eyes searched the darkness for her, feeling more uneasy the longer he couldn't see her face. "...Don't hurt me..."

Everything stopped, and he instantly regretted his words. The bed shifted, and he panicked even more than before.

"Don't go!" Gaara nearly shouted, and felt her soft hand envelope his mouth to silence him.

"Hush! I'm not going anywhere. It's okay...hush now..." The redhead felt her body mold against his bound one, and he breathed in her scent as more tears left him.

"I'm so sorry for putting you through this; it was to help you figure out your mind." The doctor embraced her patient far more lovingly than what was called for in the field, and he wondered if she felt some sort of affection for him. "I'll stop. You did well, you're safe now-"

"Please, don't stop." Gaara cursed himself for begging, but if he didn't get release he didn't know what was going to happen. He felt like a livewire that was riddled in white hot flames, and even though this scared the absolute shit out of him he needed to push past it. He needed to conquer this. "Help me..."

"Gaara, I can't. It wasn't supposed to go this far." Sakura said mournfully, and stroked his cheek gently. The redhead listened carefully when she gave a sharp inhale after running her thumb against his tear stained cheek. His tears gad surprised her, and now that he thought about it he hadn't actually broken down over what happened. He leaned into her petting like a cat, and let her touch soothe him as fresh droplets fell from his dark ringed eyes.

"Don't leave me like this. Sakura, please. I'm begging you." Just as his voice started to crack, she quickly silenced him with her hand again. He was begining to make out her silhouette in the dark now, and that made things easier on his heart, but he felt himself grow small again at her scolding.

"Gaara, stop it." His doctor ordered sternly, and his body trembled at the thought of being left in this state without any hope of relief. When she removed her hand once more, he leaned forward to rest his head on her shoulder.

"Sakura... please... It will hurt if I just leave it alone..." Gaara breathed the words desperately, and he felt her tense underneath him as his exhales flayed against her neck. His mind was almost completely gone. "At least release me... I'll do it myself if I have to."

It had come to this. This strange part of the dream that had him begging for sexual satisfaction in the most peculiar of ways. Part of him laughed at the idea that back in his own world he must be sleeping, and someone must be watching him have this ridiculous wet dream. He would probably wake up soon, and Kankuro or Temari would tease him about it.

But, what if this truly was real? How far had he sunk from his pride, and dignity?

Fuck dignity. Fuck shame. Fuck this dream world. He was going to make this happen just so he could feel again. Everything was hurting, and he just wanted to feel good for once in his miserable multiple lives.

"Gaara... I can't..." Sakura breathed deeply, and he felt himself shiver with anticipation.

"I will do whatever you want, whenever you want, and however you want. I will be your personal slave... Just please..." The redhead almost cried as he zoned in on her jugular, ghosting his open panting mouth along it to moisten the skin. When she let slip a soft whimper he sucked at the skin as delicately as he could. She swallowed hard beneath his lips.

"I will let you out, but I can't touch you." Sakura regained her clarity, and quickly released the straps binding his arms around his chest. He took what he could get, and quickly rolled up one very long sleeve. "Remember Gaara, I'm not touching you."

"I understand that. Just... don't go anywhere..." Gaara roughly replied to her before slipping his hand beneath his waistband. When his fingers wrapped around his own length he couldn't contain a sharp inhale through his teeth. He heard his doctor scoff at him with disappointment.

"Really? You're wanting me to sit here with you while you masturbate? That's real classy, Gaara." The doctor bit sarcastically at him, but he did not care. He leaned his head back down on her shoulder, and panted as he stroked himself. "Seriously? This is not what I agreed to-"

"You worked me up when I have been painfully aroused all fucking day. Don't you dare shame me for this." The redhead nuzzled further into her shoulder even though the action contradicted his harsh tone, and rubbed the head of his penis with his thumb as the liquid there made it slick to slip over. He shivered violently at the heightened sensation, and gave a broken moan since his throat was still sore from earlier. He felt her tense, but then she lightly stroked at his hip with one careful hand.

"It's not like you to just curse like that..." Sakura spoke just above a whisper, and let her unoccupied hand go to the nape of his neck to gingerly scratch at his scalp. His body shook again, and a slightly pitched moan escaped his lips. "I'm sorry for teasing you."

"Don't... I liked it." Gaara replied huskily, and he felt her stiffen. As he pumped at his length he inhaled the scent of her hair, and perfume letting it envelope his mind. He didn't care if he seemed like a perverted lunatic; he had reached his last mental straw, and the dam was now broken. "Keep talking." He ordered, completely out of his mind.

She turned further towards him, and held him just a bit closer in an embrace, but he could still move his sinful hand. The hand on his hip wrapped around his waist, and her other hand at his nape went up to his crown to cup the back of his skull. Gaara had seen mothers hold their children this way, and just as much as it sickened him he also found that he really enjoyed it.

"Do you want me?" Sakura's words echoed through him as if they echoed through time itself, and for some reason he felt the sentence push him roughly. It was like deja vu, but with hidden power underneath it that made him feel wild.

"Yes...yes..." The redhead chanted in ecstasy, and he felt her nuzzle into his shoulder. It felt so familiar; like she belonged there. He moved his hand faster.

"Are you going to take me?" The beautiful doctor spoke gently, but it seemed cautious. Something felt off about her sentence, but it also felt right too. A word was changed. That was it. How he figured that, he couldn't say, but it made him feel overwhelmed enough to grasp her shoulder with his free hand for balance.

"Not...by...force..." Gaara reassured her, and he felt her relax against him. The woman turned to kiss his neck, and he practically whined at the sensation. She moved up to his ear to suck at his earlobe, and the pleasure shot through him like an electric shock.

"I want to see it." Sakura's whisper shook as it left her, and he felt like he was going to explode.

Something about this was calling him, and he felt like his body was trying to tell him something very important. His voice cracked when he vocalized another moan, and he felt wet droplets fall onto his shoulder. His mind was too far gone to piece together what she was doing. "Don't say anything about this, it'll be our secret."

Gaara cursed harshly, and something akin to a memory flashed through him, and he felt himself racing towards a climax. It was painful, but it was also burning with pleasure.

Somehow he knew she had seen this before, and he knew it had interested her just as much back then as it did now.

He imagined her blushing while she pumped him vigorously, and having her curiosity piqued like that of a child. Her innocent face hidden under messy pink hair, biting her virgin lips while feeling shame over her visibly tainted body.

Gaara knew she wanted him to touch her, and place his fingers over the hand shaped bruises that already plagued her slim thighs. To thrust into her hard to replace whowever it was that had originally given them to her...

'What...what is happening? A fantasy? A dream? What is this?'

Gaara whined her name as he felt himself gush hotly into his hand coming back to the current time, and place. He wanted to kiss her so badly in that moment. Something so sick, and perverted was trying to force him closer to her. He needed to feel her trembling frightened lips against his own...

He stroked until nothing left could come out of him, and to his shock the good doctor praised him for a job well done. His body trembled at the whole scenario, and in familiarity.

Tears fell from him in streams as his body vibrated at a frequency that made his mental state flip upside down, but he couldn't stop himself from finding her lips in the dark. She returned his kiss with just as much passion, and he wanted more of her. He wanted to replace that man who had hurt her so badly.

Not Tomo, but the man from her past.

'What the hell is happening?!' He was torn into two mindsets, and screamed violently at himself.

When Gaara's eyes rolled back into darkness he knew that his time was up. Reality was slipping away as his body decided to quit on him. He dreamed deeper, digging into the darkness for something he had lost a long time ago.

He found it in the chilled rain of April... on a park swing; crying.

 **AN: Prepare for some upcoming mind fucking. No, not pon faar Vulcan mating rituals (I know someone has got to understand that reference XD lol), but actual mental hallucinations, breakdowns, and repressed memories. Trauma as well, and of course more smut... but very strange mindset. You'll catch on when you read it. I personally find it poetic as well as a bit more realistic than what I'm comfortable with. OMG, REALISM MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE?! Hmm, maybe I should see a therapist too ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**WARNING: CONTAINS SEXUAL ASSAULT CONTENT**

He was young, freshly turned fourteen when his first sexual encounter happened.

It was random. Unexpected, but memorable.

Gaara was known for having lapses in judgement; particularly in school. He would get into fist fights, argue with teachers, and would say very strangely dark things to people.

He remembered that at that age most of his peers would attempt to steer clear of him, with the exception of one pretty girl in his science class. She tolerated him, and when he would say dark threats to her she would only show fear for a moment before moving on with their assignments.

The teacher would often assign her to work with him; as other students found him intolerable to work with. She would groan, and move her things to sit next to him bitterly, but she never really took out her anger on him. She was just used to him, and his antics.

One strange rainy day she had come in to class looking worse for wear. He noticed how her hair was wet, and dark circles clung under her swollen eyes. She immediately sat next to him without being asked to, and her warm body had briefly brushed against his own as she adjusted her seat. The girl didn't apologize, and she barely said two words to him. He was so curious then, about whatever had happened to her that he followed her after school let out.

She had walked to a small empty park, and sat on the swing as it poured cold April rain around her. He couldn't stop himself from approaching her, as she just looked so destroyed.

"What's wrong with you." Gaara demanded, and the girl just sat there with her head hung low letting herself be doused by the rain. She was starting to shiver, and he knew that it would only be a matter of time until she reached a bad stage of hypothermia.

"I lost my virginity last night." She replied in a dead tone, and as much as it surprised him he brushed the emotion away.

"Was it bad?" The redhead legitimately asked this time, and to his curiosity she rose her head up to look at him with her dead jade orbs. They were stunning even when bloodshot, and surrounded by shadows. It was then he searched her figure, and found a bruise forming around her bicep. Then another around her wrist. She realized he was searching her body, and she covered herself defensively.

"I'm not a whore." She argued, and he felt taken aback by the sudden accusation.

"No. You're not." Gaara replied softer than usual, and it stunned him that he was showing her any form of kindness. She was just as shocked, and instantly started to calm as her eyes locked onto his.

"Aren't you clinically insane?" She asked him bluntly, but the question didn't bother him in the least.

"Sometimes." He responded, and watched carefully as she trembled at the cold. "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

Silence ensued, and the girl stayed completely frozen under his gaze. He realized that he had already gotten his answer, but still refused to say anything about it. He wanted to hear it from her.

"Does it matter?" She finally looked away, and her hair fell back into her face in wet waves. He wanted to tell her that she was the only tolerable human in class, but felt it was too personal for his tastes.

"If you kill yourself I won't have a science partner." Gaara deadpanned, and the girl gave him an incredulous look in response. Her face stayed that way for a while, but then something surprising happened.

She laughed.

It was then that he found her incredibly attractive. Her laugh was like a bell that rang through his ears, and he decided then that he wanted to hear more noises come out of her mouth.

"You are the strangest person I have ever met!" She snickered before calming herself. He watched her shuffle her feet, and realized that he could see bruises on her thighs as well. She noticed him searching her body again, and shyly covered herself this time. "Why do you keep doing that? It's perverted."

"You have bruises." The redhead walked up to her, and knelt down to look closer. She gasped as he pushed apart her knees to look at the bruises on her inner thighs. The purple marks looked like hand prints. "Did it hurt?"

"Did what hurt?" She barked defensively, and he met her gaze with interest while absentmindedly running his thumb along the bruise.

"When this person raped you."

Gaara said it so nonchalantly, as if he were talking about the weather. He wasn't expecting to be struck hard across the face with an open hand, but the blood he tasted inside his mouth told him just how hard she hit him.

However, his dad had hit him harder than this, so the slap felt more like a flick in comparison.

When he turned his head back to confront her, she was already breaking down into tears. Somewhere, deep down, he felt sympathy for her, but it was buried deep. The only expression he could give her was one made of stone, but his hand still rose up to touch the tears falling from her eyes in curiosity.

"It hurt...it...h-hurt..." Her breathing was erratic, and he could tell she was hyperventilating. Strangely, he didn't like that. It almost hurt him to watch her do that with her body.

"Stop that." The redhead ordered before grabbing her face in his hands. Her eyes balked at his forwardness, but he didn't really care. "Stop breathing like that."

"I'm scared!" Her body trembled, and he watched her eyes start to dull with her harsh breathing. Her skin felt too cold, and she was too exposed to the elements.

This girl he was just beginning to actually become interested in was going to die, and that didn't sit well with him. He forced her to stand up, and she swayed unable to keep her balance. He held her shoulders to try to steady her, but she still leaned against him like a rag doll.

"I'm taking you home with me, you're getting sick." Just as he said it her body began to crumple at the knees, but he caught her before she could hit the ground. He held her in one arm around her chest, then scooped up her legs with his other arm to carry her properly. Her head lolled against his shoulder, and it gave him more incentive to jog back home rather than walk.

Gaara didn't live far from this park, and surprisingly he had went there often after a firm beating from his father. So finding her there to mourn as well made him feel connected to her in an odd way.

He entered his home through the backdoor to his basement rather than risk his father seeing him. It was rare for anyone to be home at this time, but he still didn't want to risk it. He made his way to his bedroom in the back corner of the basement, and entered it as quietly as he could with a whimpering girl in his arms.

He sat her down against the wall inside his bedroom before closing the door properly, and locking it. Her breathing was short, and sharp, but he didn't let it deter him from trying to dry her off. When he realized that her wet clothes weren't helping her get warm he mindlessly started to remove them piece by piece.

Gaara was not a sexual person, and had never felt desire for another human being, but this girl was beautiful. From her damp pink hair down to her waterlogged feet; she was stunning. She attempted weakly to hold him back from stripping her down, but he would move the restricting hand away as if he were swatting at a gnat.

He paid her no mind when she started crying again, and scooped her naked body back into his arms to place her gently on his bed. She shivered, and sobbed weakly; most likely thinking that she was going to be assaulted again. He blinked curiously at her, and really took in her nude image. He could see why someone would want to attack her like that, but he also felt anger for it.

The person who had raped her had left blotches on her creamy skin, and bruised her tender flesh. It felt like a beautiful work of art had been tainted by graffiti, and he now loathed the human being that had wasted her. Had it been him, he would have made sure that her body stayed beautiful, and that she made plenty of pleasant noises with her bell-like voice while he did it.

He didn't like her hyperventilating like this, and when he imagined another man thrusting into her while she breathed in such a way made him want to grab the old hunting knife he stored under his mattress to gut the bastard. She shouldn't feel panicked like a frightened rabbit screaming sharply while trapped in the mouth of a vicious predator.

Gaara ran his fingertips across her blotched breasts, and she whimpered fearfully under his touch. He smoothed his hand against her backside too, as if him touching her would heal the bruised markings. He didn't enjoy her poor reaction to him, but he felt that touching her like this was important.

He stroked her legs, her arms, chest, back, thighs, neck... but he didn't touch her genitalia. He knew that it would surely hurt if he did. After he felt that he had brushed every inch of her, he covered her chilled body with his thick navy comforter. It was made for winter, but since he was always cold in the basement it made sense to always have it year round. Her whimpering had calmed to a mere shiver, and he knew that she was beginning to trust him.

The redhead started to change out of his own wet clothes, and he was down to his boxer briefs by the time he caught her staring at him. He had figured that she would have passed out, but she was still awake, and watching him through curious eyes. He waited for her to thoroughly dissect him with her sight, and felt that he should extend that courtesy as he shamelessly did it to her just before. When he went to remove his underwear, however, she gasped fearfully while hiding herself under the blanket. He almost felt like laughing at her for being so shy, but most likely penises frightened her now, so he would refrain from disrespecting her.

He redressed himself in black sweat pants, and a white T-shirt before crawling into bed beside her. She whimpered fearfully again, and he didn't like the fact that she was still afraid of him.

"I'm not going to rape you." Gaara stated plainly as he molded his body against her back. His feet had touched her icey ones, but he let his discomfort slide in favor of warming her. The redhead made sure that there was no loss of contact between them as he spooned her back, and firmly wrapped his arm over the center of her waist before curling his arm up to rest his warm hand over her heart.

Her body was so small in comparison to his, even though they were both not yet fully grown. He thought about how he could easily kill her, force himself on her, or break her limbs in his larger hands.

It would be disturbing for a normal person to think like this, but Gaara thought this way frequently especially about living things that were weaker than him. He wouldn't do it; of course, but he knew, and recognized that he could do these things if he truly wanted to. She was so incredibly weak, and for some reason it heated him more.

The girl whimpered fearfully again, but Gaara didn't understand why. When he moved to look at her face for some sort of answer, he realized that a certain part of him felt resistant against his action. It was then he realized why she was growing anxious again, and knew that damage control was in order.

"I'm not going to do anything to you, but I'm still male, and I can't control that." The redhead spoke as gently as he could, and he felt her ease once again. Perhaps later she might warm up to him, and he could handle that hardened part of him with her assistance, but he greatly doubted it. Instead he rested his face on the back of her neck, and drifted in and out of the sleep he often lacked.

She smelled so good, and her skin was so soft. Almost baby smooth.

As he awoke from another power nap he had noticed her body was finally warm. He stroked her skin up, and back down in all the places he had before. At first the only sounds he heard was the shifting of his comforter as his hands traced her frame intimately, but he must have woke her because as he smoothed his hands over her breasts, and butt she proceeded to shiver while a sensual whimper would escape her. It was an adorable sound that made him go over those places again just to hear her voice ring in his ears.

He knew he was hard again, and remained firmly pressed against her to absorb the new warmth that enveloped her whole body. The tops of her shoulders seemed to be reddening the more he touched her, and he realized that it was a blush spreading down her body. He wondered if the rest of her did that, and he wondered if he was giving her an unexpected reaction.

"Gaara! Dinner is ready! Dad says if you don't come get it now you won't get any food tonight!" Temari shouted from the other side of his door, and thankfully he had locked it as the knob tried turning in an attempt to invade his space.

God forbid his family find out he had a pretty naked girl in his bed.

"I'll be out in a minute." Gaara responded dully, and sat up in his bed. He looked over at her, and tried to glimpse at her body before she covered her shame. That blush went further than her shoulders; that was for certain. "I'll bring you some food. Don't go anywhere. If they find you my father will beat me."

Her eyes widened, and her mouth went agape as he stood up to stretch. She looked like she was about to cry again, and he nearly groaned.

"Don't do that. If you cry anymore you'll get sick. I don't want you to get sick; I want to see you at school tomorrow." Without another word he left his room, and climbed the stairs softly as he made his way to the kitchen. He grabbed a plate of rice, and some seasoned chicken. He knew it was his sister's cooking by how simplified it was.

"How was school?" His father's voice echoed behind him, and he felt himself cringe.

"Fine." Gaara answered quietly, and plated up more food than was usual for him; Rasa noticed this, and smirked.

"You're about to go through another growth spurt I see. Good, you're too weak as it is." The stern man gave a cold laugh that made his son want to put him in an early grave, but he settled for walking away with the food in silence.

"Oh, are you eating in your room?" Kankuro pointed out, and Gaara nearly gave him a death glare making his older brother recoil.

"Yes. I have homework." The redhead lied.

"What kind of homework?" Rasa pried further, and Gaara felt like throwing the plate at his father's face.

"Science..." He lied again, and went to move for the basement door.

"What are you learning in science?" His father pressed, and unfortunately his son groaned. "You make that sound again, and I will personally silence you." He threatened, and the boy stiffened knowing that Rasa always kept to his word.

"Biology." Gaara blurted, and his father's eyes narrowed.

"I thought you weren't supposed to take that class until next semester." His father crossed his arms, and the redhead tried to stay as calm as possible.

"I'm sorry. I was lying to you..." He looked away feigning shame, and Rasa took the bait. "It's...sex ed..." Gaara knew that was the next class they were coming up to, so it would be believable if he had started learning it a week early.

Ironically, he was educating himself about that subject quite thoroughly at the moment.

"Heh, you really don't like that stuff do you?" Rasa snickered before sitting down at the table, letting the boy know he was free to go. "You'll never satisfy a woman if you don't learn. Not that you'll get anywhere with one anyways, but it would be good to know just in case you find a girl who's crazy enough to let you take her to bed."

Rasa wasn't a good father. He had turned more cold, and heartless than Gaara the day his wife died giving birth to said son. The boy's mother's passing was also the reason why he ended up in the hospital a lot, but for some reason the doctors never seemed to put two and two together.

That, or nobody on this planet gave two shits about him. Which was something Rasa made sure to remind him of.

Every... single... day...

"Yes, father." The redhead retreated away from the conversation as quickly as he could, closing the basement door gently before padding quietly down the stairs to his room.

"Wouldn't you love to know what's waiting for me in my room...fucking asshole..." He mumbled to himself quietly while he approached his bedroom door.

Gaara opened the door to find a lump under his blankets, and he entered the room silently before locking the door behind him. The lump stirred, and he saw her pink hair pop out. At first he merely thought it was just cute that her childish facial features were draped under her messy pastel hair, but when the blanket moved further away from her body he realized she still wasn't wearing clothes.

That was unexpected. He thought that surely she would have dressed herself by now, but instead she sat there on her knees barely attempting to cover herself. Something inside him growled in hopes of attacking her, but he knew that it wouldn't be consensual, which was something he wanted from her for some odd reason.

"I have food for you." He walked over with the plate, and placed it in front of her.

As she stared at the food curiously, he took that moment to take in the healthy color her skin had taken on. She looked healthier than when he had first taken off her clothes, and the circles under her eyes had lessened with sleep. Her flesh looked better, and not as blotched as it did earlier, but the bruises were still present. She looked up at him innocently, catching him in the act of dissecting her, and even though she had blushed she didn't move to cover herself this time.

An act of trust, no doubt; she felt comfortable enough to let him look at her like he was.

"Thank you...for everything..." The girl said weakly as she began eating the food he had brought for her, still stark naked on his bed. He didn't understand what she was doing, but he didn't argue with the view. However, she still looked cold with her baby hairs raised in goose flesh while her nipples erected themselves, as all do when chilled. Although he had hung up her clothing, he knew they wouldn't be dry yet. Perhaps that was the real reason she was still naked...

Gaara stood silently, and rummaged through his dresser to grab her the biggest sweatshirt he owned. It also happened to be the softest one as well; she was very fortunate to have the honor of wearing it.

He walked over to her with the hoodless sweatshirt in hand, and she stared at it for a short moment before blushing again. He didn't get why she was embarrassed when she pulled the clothing over her head, but it was practically sinful to watch her hug her own frame as the fabric clung to her newer curves.

His own clothing was caressing every inch of her torso right now causing a foreign feeling to wash over him as he thought about molding himself around, and inside of her. Feeling all of her at once, like the fabric that clung to her; the fabric that he owned.

She was very pretty, and he liked how his sweatshirt hung past her bottom, but left her long legs exposed. He almost wanted her to stay here in this room with him forever, and wear only that for the rest of time.

That, or she could stay wrapped in his sheets with nothing protecting her but the cotton that covered his mattress.

"You keep staring..." She blushed again, and brushed her long pink locks out of her face.

"You're very beautiful." The redhead deadpanned, but then scolded himself inwardly for revealing the fact that he found her attractive. When her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red, he decided to feel more smug than embarrassed over the comment.

"You're...so weird, Gaara." The girl looked away bashfully, still nibbling on the roasted chicken.

The way she said his name had his skin tingling, and he suddenly wanted her to say it again, and again, and repeat.

"I'm weird, but I still saved you." He started, and then suddenly felt quite shy. "I... warmed you... I helped you..." He blinked at himself before groaning at his own stupidity.

"When you need help... I'll return the favor." She nodded sweetly to him, and he felt butterflies flutter inside of him.

He really wanted this girl to call his own.

She finished her portion, and handed the plate over to him. He ate the remaining contents normally, and cracked open one of the water bottles he kept in his room. He handed it to her after taking a swig, and she drank it greedily much to his humor. He watched her gulp at the liquid, and he felt himself grow warm just by watching her drink. Putting the empty plate aside he turned on his radio to some slow rock music, and crawled back onto the bed with her. She stiffened next to him as she screwed the cap back on the water bottle. As soon as she set it down on the night stand he pulled her close to him, and she squeaked in surprise. He breathed in her scent, and nuzzled his face into her soft hair.

"Do you want me?" The girl spoke just above a whisper, and he stilled his breathing. He didn't think she would go that route with him, not in a million years. He didn't know if he should answer her, but he held her with more tension than before. "Do you want me?" She repeated herself, and he felt there was no avoiding the question now.

"...Yes..." He whispered, as if admitting it would make her dissapear. He didn't want her to go, and it was the first time he had ever held another human being like this. Of course he wanted her; if anything he wanted to be as close as humanly possible, and that was only possible if he were to be inside her. He shivered at the thought of it, and exhaled deeply against her neck making her shiver as well.

She responded to him when stimulated, and gave him attention when it was due. She was beautiful, and stronger than most, but still weaker than him. He wanted to keep her, and he felt like she would be a good fit.

"Are you going to rape me?" She spoke emotionlessly, and his chest felt pain at the comment. He grabbed her arms, and flipped her over so that she was underneath him. She seemed dead, like a freshly shot deer with a thousand yard stare.

It was horrifying.

"I want you, but I'm not going to force you." Gaara spoke gently, and it seemed to calm her. When life did return to her eyes her sight wandered his body, and then returned to his aquatic gaze cautiously. She seemed to want to ask him something, but was trying to find a way to put it into words.

"Can I...see it?" The girl asked so quietly he thought he had misheard her.

"See...what?" He blinked at her, and then felt her hand go to the waistband of his pants.

It took a few clicks, but finally the gears started moving, and he gave her a disbelieving expression.

"You...want to see...that...?" Gaara felt himself warm again, and cursed that it should be now that she'd want to see something like that when the second he pulled it out he knew she would feel threatened by it.

"I want...to see it..." The girl sat upright, and he leaned away from her almost intimidated.

She wanted to see his genitals, which was just stressful in his mind. He knew she was scarred by sex, and now she wanted to see the very thing that tried to practically rip her in two. He didn't understand it.

"Please." Both of her hands gripped at his waist band desperately, and he felt a hard blush hitting his cheeks. He couldn't deny her, and he knew that, but it didn't help the fact that he felt nervous about it.

However, she had trusted him with her body, he would have to return the gesture. She was generous with him, so why shouldn't he do the same?

"...Don't...be afraid of it...okay?" Without waiting for her response, he undid the drawstring to his sweat pants, and pulled down the front for her to see. He was pulsing, and suddenly he didn't want her to look at his arousal anymore. "Okay, if that's all you-"

"Can I touch it?" She moved forward curiously, and he felt another red hot blush hit his cheeks. This was no longer innocent, and was swiftly going into a territory that he didn't know if he could handle. Earlier he felt confident in possibly having her touch him, but this was almost invasive.

Yet, he still wanted her to do it. As uncomfortable as he felt about it he still wanted her to palm him like he belonged to her.

"Sure..." Gaara finally answered, and she curiously took him into her hand. She ran her fingers against him with a feather soft touch, and he trembled at the light sensation wanting her to grip it much more firmly. She traced his veins, smoothed the pads of her fingertips under his testes, and ran her thumb over the tip of him. His breath shuddered with every stroke, and she raised her eyes to meet his own with pink cheeks.

"Does it...feel nice?" The girl questioned, and he took another breath in preparation of speech.

"Yes. I'm sure no matter what you do... It will feel nice." It was then he heard her giggle softly at him, and he wondered how she could be like this after something so awful. Perhaps this was her strange way of coping with it.

"Will you show me... how you do it?" She blinked shyly at him, and he almost balked at the request.

It was a very personal question that only he himself knew the answer to. Yet, if he answered this for her than perhaps he could see more of her as well, which was most certainly worth letting her know this perverted little fact about him.

He made his decision with a curt nod, before gently placing her whole palm along his length. He placed his own hand around her own until the pressure was just right for him, and then had her move the skin in a petrissage fashion.

"You like it that hard?" She blinked at him, and he smirked regardless of his embarrassment.

"The majority of guys like it this way..." Gaara gave a half smile, and he realized that when he'd smile at her she would blush a great deal more than usual. He enjoyed the fact that she found him attractive, instead of just being body curious.

As she followed the rhythm he set for her, he felt himself start to melt into that familiar place that he would go to very rarely. He started panting for her, and her face flushed red hot much to his delight. He couldn't stop smiling at her embarrassment, and eventually she started to pout at him as if he were teasing her.

His last smirk cost him though, as she palmed him harder than he would do normally. He moaned sharply at the sensation before gripping her shoulders to balance himself, and the action meant to bother him backfired causing her to be even more flustered by him. She tried pumping her hand faster in another attempt to mess with him, and the same erotic reaction came out causing her to grow thoroughly bashful.

"Hnnn...Sakura..." Gaara groaned, and she put her other hand over his mouth to keep him quiet.

"Hush! You can't just...moan my name like that..." She was such a vibrant shade of red, and he moved his head quickly to avoid her hand. She gasped as he slipped past to bring his lips to her ear.

"Sakura...hnn...Sakura..." The redhead purred her name erotically, and she shivered head to toe. She gave a whimper in nervousness before pumping him hard and fast. He cried out into the crook of her neck while letting his sweatshirt muffle the sound. Her hand was becoming slick with pre cum, and he felt like his body was melting into her palm. She finally gave a cute smile as he turned into a panting mess for her, and he flushed at how personal this truly was.

"Do you want me?" Sakura asked again, and he didn't have enough time to answer her before he felt on the verge of orgasm. He could only answer her with a kiss that muffled his ecstasy. As he moaned sharply against her lips, she decided to part them for him as he invited himself in. It was a bit sloppy, but it felt incredible to do it and climax at the same time. It was like half of him went to heaven while part of him stayed tethered to her.

He groaned in relief as she milked him for every last drop, and he finally started to breath normally again while his head continued to buzz with energy. He never stopped kissing her, and he never wanted to. She wanted to kiss him too, and she did so without ever once shying away.

Sakura liked him, and it was obvious by how desperately she kissed him.

Their make out session went for longer than what was normal for most; they were both greedy with the sensation, and let themselves succumb to that sort of passion. When they both pulled away there was a mutual understanding there.

"It wasn't scary like I thought it was going to be..." Sakura panted, and the redhead blinked in surprise. "I wanted my first time to be different... I wanted to experience it like this... on my own terms..."

"I understand." Gaara reached for a dirty shirt already in his laundry bin to wipe her hand off with. When he deemed her clean he threw the shirt back into the bin. "Was that okay?"

"Yeah... I liked how happy it made you..." She blushed at her own comment, and he mirrored the expression. "You never look happy, but you have a handsome smile."

Gaara froze for a moment, because this was the first time he had been complimented on his appearance. It felt... nice.

"Hey, sometimes I look happy, but it's usually when I'm in one of my moods." The redhead gave her a wolfish smile, and she snorted half in discomfort, and half in laughter.

"Yeah, pretty sure you're ranting about killing me whenever you make that face. I hope we've moved passed that." Sakura snickered, and he moved in to kiss her jawline.

"If I say I'm going to kill you, just know it's out of affection." Gaara smirked before wrapping his arms around her small figure. She pulled up the front of his pants to provide him some modesty before circling her own arms around his waist. He kissed her lips again, and she hummed.

Luckily, they didn't get caught that night, and she managed to sneak out under the radar with the promise of seeing him at school tomorrow.

He couldn't wait.

 **AN: I hope you guys enjoy realism, but for my ladies who are the 1 out of 5 sexual assault victims, I see you, and I know your pain. I too can raise my hand for that 1 out of 5, and I'm no longer ashamed of the things that other people did to me, because its not my fault. Nor is it yours. Sending out some love here, and I see you. Be validated today.**

 **Why I write this stuff? Its healing for me personally. I like watching characters overcome situations that are as bad or worse than my own just to see it done. Just to watch them succeed, and show me it can be done. I dig that shit.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Welcome back! And of course get ready for more adult content, you know the drill.**

"Gaara...Gaara, wake up."

He cringed at the idea of having to open his eyes, but the person shaking him wouldn't desist.

"Gaara, you've been asleep for two days."

His ears perked at that, and he hazily opened his eyes to the bright morning light bouncing off of white walls, and the sterile scent of rubbing alcohol-

"What the...what the fuck... what the fuck!?" The redhead shot up in his bed, and looked around him in panic.

He was still trapped in the asylum.

"God fucking damnit!" Gaara punched his pillow before picking it up over his head to start thrashing it against the wall. It started to snap, and rip as he smacked away with the cushion. Someone was standing next to him, watching him throw this extreme tantrum, but he didn't care.

He was still trapped in this hell hole, and he had for sure fallen asleep for two days. He should be back in Sunagakure, but he wasn't.

Why hadn't he returned? Why was he still here? What happened to him on the other side?!

When his pillow shredded into nothing but feathers, he started clawing at the white sheets in an attempt to ruin everything in this cursed room. The textiles tore with a satisfying ripping sound that only eased his frustrations at the smallest of levels. He just wanted to burn this place to the ground, and he absolutely done with it. It had to go away. Now.

"Remind me to never wake you up after a coma." Sakura's voice mirthed, and as he recognized it he instantly calmed; lowering the shredded sheets in his hands as he stared lifelessly at the wall; with her at his back. He breathed carefully as his skin itched, and burned from the rage he had flowing through him just seconds ago, but just knowing she was there was enough to still him for the moment. "Do you feel better?"

"No." Gaara replied instantly, and brought his head to his knees. The tattered bedding craddled his face in a way that made him think that perhaps the inanimate objects felt pity for him. "I don't want to be here anymore..."

A long silence filled the air, and the redhead hoped that she hadn't actually left due to the long pause. When he felt the bed dip, he felt reassured that she would keep him company today. She just had to.

"Its noon, and I brought you lunch from outside the facility~" She said in a singing tone to get him to feel better. Funnily enough, it worked. He turned to face her as he sat in a butterfly fashion, and she looked very healthy.

In his dream, she was so small, and fragile...

His eyes widened, and he felt suddenly ashamed of the dream he had of her. It felt so real, like a memory or hallucination, but it was disturbing watching himself as a youth stripping down a sickly girl only to feel her up after 'saving' her from hypothermia. He cursed himself, his boyish curiosity, and his twisted ego for even thinking about such a scenario. Sakura noticed his change in expression, and looked concerned.

"Did you have a nightmare?" She pressed, and he shook his head side to side.

Should he tell her? Would she judge him?

"Tell me what you dreamed about. I know they bother you quite a lot." Sakura took his hand gently into her own, and he felt her warm soothing energy envelope him. Her maternal comforts always weakened him to whatever she wanted. She would always have her way.

He breathed in deeply.

"We were teenagers, you and I..." He looked up to gauge her reaction, and for a flash of a second she looked terrified, but it went away as quickly as it came. It was strange, and he wasnt expecting that reaction, but she tried to hide it from him making him more suspicious. "You had come to school looking upset, I followed you to a park; you had been raped the night before so you were planning on kill-"

"Okay, well that sounds awful. It's best you just put it out of your mind, hmm? Let's dig into that lunch I brought for you!" She stood abruptly, and it instantly raised red flags for him. She had wanted so eagerly to know what he had dreamt, and now she was pushing away; why?

"You didn't let me finish." The redhead raised a hairless brow suspiciously at her, and she blanched at him.

"I don't want to hear how you dreamt about me getting raped. That's not something I find interesting; in fact, just the opposite, I try to steer clear from thoughts like-"

"You weren't getting raped. You had been raped, and I was helping you cope with it." Gaara argued, and for a moment he saw true pain on her face before she banished it away somewhere inside herself. Her injured demeanor was exchanged for an emotionally detached one.

She was deflecting.

"Let me guess, you dreamt that I slept with you to feel better, correct?" Sakura crossed her arms sternly, and he wondered why she was so defensive. He also wondered why she would come up with such a far fetched accusation.

"No. I brought you home, took off your soaked clothes as you had been sitting in freezing rain, and then slept next to you. I didn't have sex with you." He blinked in confusion at her when her face seemed to run through several different expressions. Something was going on, and he was neing kept out of the loop. "It was just a dream, Sakura."

"Yes. Yes it was." She looked off to the side, and he finally stood up off the bed.

He needed to help her, and the emotion was pushing him to act.

Sakura tensed, but it didn't stop him from putting his arms around her waist to embrace her. She stiffened further, and Gaara was wondering why she was trying to put distance between them when they had gotten so close already.

"What are you doing?" Her voice shook, and he wondered if she was blushing. He moved back to check, and she indeed was, but then he leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips.

Deja vu occurred once again when her open hand smacked him hard across the face.

"Gaara! Let me go right now!" She wiggled out of his arms, and he was suddenly very confused. She was sending him so many mixed signals, he thought his head was going to explode.

"What is wrong with you?! First you kiss me, then push me away, then kiss me, push me away, flirt with me, push away; oh, and let's not forget the handsy makeout session two nights ago!" The redhead steamed, and he officially loathed being baited like some sort of trap animal.

When Sakura looked at him in complete utter confusion, Gaara wondered if perhaps he was reading her wrong... Her words never seemed to match her emotions anyways.

Wait, wouldn't that just mean that she was a pathological liar?

"What the hell are you talking about? What make out session? When did that happen?!" The doctor barked, and he felt something inside him crack when she couldn't recall it happening. She seemed so confused...

Did...did it even happen?

Suddenly the world started shrinking in around him, and he looked at her fearfully. She seemed to relax, noticing something was actually wrong with his recollection.

"Sakura, I... we... The other night... did anything happen between us?" Gaara started to sweat, fearing the fact that he might actually be going crazy.

"We talked about your fantasies about me, and I had left to go grab my notebook, but when I came back you were fast asleep." She answered carefully, and his heart sank.

'...crap...'

"I need...some air?" Gaara looked around him rapidly as the walls seemed to close in around him. The stretching white on white made his stomach churn while the world seemed to tilt on its side. That bitter smell of bleach, and alcohol invaded his sense of smell making him taste the sickness on his tongue. There was no fresh air here, only recycled breaths of half dead patients, and coughing, laughing, screaming, wheezing breaths of everyone in the building. He was suffocating on it.

Sakura placed a hand on his shoulder, and he didn't know if her hand was even real.

Wait. No. This was a dream. So he had a dream, within a dream, inside another dream. He was dreaming he was crazy, and he was crazy from dreaming something that didn't actually happen before beginning to dream something else that may have been a memory that was actually a dream, but it could have been real.

'What is happening to me?!' He balked at the white tile floor feeling a sweat break out from his temples as his body went straight into fight or flight.

"Gaara? Gaara, say something please." He felt her shaking him, and he shook his head violently at her before pushing her gently away from him. The presence of another human being was too much for him right now.

"I need to go outside. Please, let me go out today..." The redhead grabbed his skull, and pressed hard into his damp temples to try to stop the ringing he was beginning to hear. The blood rushed violently against his ear drums making them vibrate in a way that made him feel even more sick.

"I can't let you outside. You're not allowed to go out for a month because of what happened with Tomo-"

"Damn it, Sakura! I am going fucking mad in this room!" Gaara grabbed her shoulders hard, and shouted violently in her face. It didn't do him any favors with her as a wave of fear washed over her features.

"If you don't let go I will sedate you, and put you back in the jacket." Sakura went cold as ice, and he felt himself sink further feeling like she was no longer there for him. Her lack of trust pushed him to the point of having a few tears fall from his aqua eyes.

He began to feel resentment. Disgust. Betrayal.

"Oh yes. Put me back in the jacket. I'm such a fucking animal that I might kill you right?" The redhead hissed through his teeth while his body quaked with hurt. The doctor furrowed her brow quizically at him, and he didn't know what emotion she actually held inside her. "You're a liar, and this world is a lie, my life here has been a lie, all of this reality is false...it has to be."

"What is going on with you? You're sometimes violent, yes, but this is completely out of character-"

"I am upset because you are BREAKING ME!" As his voice rose to a volume he could no longer control, and as his hands squeazed her shoulders with an unintended force he suddenly felt a familiar pinch in his deltoid. He looked to his shoulder, and his face paled, but hers remained firm. When he brought his eyes back to her own all he could find was caution in her jade orbs. She didn't trust him. "Did you just fucking drug me?! After everything...I just ..went ...through..."

The sedative worked quickly, but felt different from the other times he had been put down. At the moment he merely felt drunk, and legitimately relaxed for once. It was strange that the knots in his chest loosened, and his attitude melted into one that was more care-free. Instant, but falsified peace.

"It's a different compound. You shouldn't pass out this time, but it should slow you down quite a bit. Also, you should feel pretty loose too, so any position should feel comfortable for you; including strapped in that jacket you hate so much." Sakura pet his hair gently, and he realized that she still cared in some strange maternal way.

He hated it.

"Don...Puh meh...in tha jackeh...pleassse..." His words slurred, and he felt pleasantly high, but he knew that being stuck like this in the jacket would make him incredibly easy prey for anyone who would want to get at him. If he could feel anxiety properly, it would show.

She shook her head, and even in his doped state he felt his heart drop.

"I'm not going to leave you here, but I am strapping you up. We'll stay in my office...together. Okay?" The doctor pet his head again, and the fact that she was going to take him with her made him feel much safer than before. Even though the threat of the strait jacket still remained.

"Hnnnkay..." Gaara tried to form a smile, but it ended up looking like a goofy grin. Sakura smirked at him while shaking her head before leading him carefully outside to make their journey to her office.

-...-...-...-

Sakura tightened his straps, and her loose pink hair fell into her face. He blinked lazily at her, and wondered how a woman could be so beautiful. Especially when surrounded by the haze of narcotics.

"Mmmyour priddy...hehe..." Gaara gave a dopey giggle, and she snickered in return. "Mmnooo really... ssooo priddy..."

"Okay, Romeo. Let's get some food in you to take the edge off of the sedative." She stood up from her crouched position next to him to go find the lunch she promised. He stared distantly at her, and zoned out on her clothing.

Her heels were higher today, and the black skirt was just as short as yesterday's. She had taken off her white coat, and sported a sleeveless red button down blouse.

"I...luffs...yuuur...shird...iz...red." The redhead managed a toothy grin, partially because he was able to say something without forgetting his words midway through. Which seemed to be a feat at the moment.

"Why thank you, Gaara. I know you like that color a lot, so I decided to wear it for you today." She walked back over to him with some rice, and brought a spoonful up to his mouth. Like a child, he opened his mouth expectantly, and chewed slowly on the starchy food. His doctor smiled sweetly at him. "There we go, you are being so good right now."

Gaara nodded dumbly at her, and accepted her praise with ease.

They worked like this for a half hour; her feeding him, and him being completely satisfied with what was going on around him. Nothing was bothering him at the moment, and he began to realize that this could quickly become a problem.

He liked the drugs, and wanted to dive deeper. The buzz he felt in his teeth, and skin was more than just pleasant; it carried a craving. A need for more.

"Aaand there! That's the last bite. You did so good. Who's my best patient?" Sakura cooed, and he absorbed the maternal affection that he hadn't ever received in life. If he could continue to be drugged like this, perhaps she would continue to care for him like she was currently. Being praised for the smallest things, being told how wonderful you are; feeling cared for.

"I am...hehe..." The redhead nodded dopily again, and she almost giggled at him.

"How are you feeling, now that you have a full tummy?" The pretty doctor pushed some hairs away from his kanji on his forehead, and he leaned into her hand so that her whole palm would make contact.

"Mmmm...I love you...hehe..." Gaara smiled again, but when he focused on her face the doctor had managed to form a full blush. He didn't know what he said to make her face red, or rather he couldn't remember the exact words as they just sort of fell out of his mouth without conscious thought. "Your face isss red..."

"I...uh...yeah." Sakura stood back up with the plates, and placed them on a clear corner of her desk before pulling a chair over to sit properly in front on him. The chair was so close to him that when she took her seat their knees brushed. He zoned out with his eyes on her legs, but nothing remarkably perverted had crossed his mind. He just wondered why her skin looked so smooth, and unblemished.

"You're ssskin...looks better..." The redhead said staring at her knees before moving his eyes up to her thighs. "The bruises...aren't there...anymore..."

"What bruises? I don't remember you giving me any bruises." His doctor jotted down a few notes, and he looked at her wrists for bruising as well.

"Not...me...from...that man." Gaara looked up finally to stare into her eyes. The area around her was completely blurred, but she remained crystal clear with her confused demeanor.

"Tomo didn't bruise me either, Gaara. I don't understa-"

"No...not him...man from...a long time ago..." He squinted, trying hard to recall something important while lolling his head around in frustration. "You always...had bruises...you couldn't...go home..."

The redhead stopped moving when he heard her pen drop onto her clipboard. When he focused back on her it had looked like she had seen a specter. Her eyes looked fearful, and her body shivered slightly.

She looked so cold.

"You're cold... we should go back...to my house..." Gaara sniffled, but he didn't really know why. He tried moving his arms in the jacket, forgetting that he was constricted in it; but then two lithe hands grabbed at the fabric where his forearms were.

"No. That's not right. That's not real, okay? Forget everything you dreamt about; it never happened." Sakura started breathing heavily, and he knew that it sounded familiar in his ears.

She was crying too, even though she held her head low enough for her hair to cover her eyes he could still feel them patter on his pants.

"Don't cry... I'll take you... home with me..." The redhead tried his damnest to keep his thoughts clear, and cohesive. Something was wrong with her, and it was his job to protect her.

Why was it his job to protect her?

"Gaara, you don't have a home. That's not real. Please forget it." His doctor nearly begged, and he wondered why she was so sad about it.

"You'll...be safe. My dad...won't catch us..." Gaara felt something click into place, and he shook his head violently to get the right words going into his mouth. "No...not my dad...Your dad..."

The redhead failed to inhale when he felt her fists at his chest pushing him hard in the wheelchair; causing it to go rolling backwards into the wall behind him. He winced at how it pulsed painfully afterwards, and coughed at the feeling of wind getting knocked out of him. While he was occupied, she walked over to her office door to make sure it was locked.

He didn't know if she was going to attack him again or not, but he tensed despite the coaxing drugs still flowing through his system.

Sakura glared at him before stomping over to his position. He felt her heat as she slammed her hands down on either side of the handles of the chair; bringing her face threateningly close to his own. He tried to pull away from her, but there was literally nowhere to go.

"You can't ever mention this to me, or anyone else ever again. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to talk about it. You don't need to know what happened back then. Just stay cute, and stupid." She spat venomously, and he finally got the picture. She had spelled it out for him in thick bold letters.

Everything he had dreamt was a memory.

"Why?" Gaara blurted, still unable to control his subconscious thoughts. Her eyes grew firey, and her scowl looked feral. It was an expression he had never hope to see on her beautiful face.

"Because I don't want you to remember. You can't... you just can't." That was when her expression cracked, and she broke out into a full panicked sob. He stared at her in shock, or at least what his relaxed facial muscles would allow him to convey as shock. "It w-will destroy e-everything... so p-please..."

His fragile doctor slumped to the floor, and placed her head in his lap while she cried desperately. He wanted to hold her, and comfort her, but he couldn't because of the strait jacket.

So close, but never able to touch her. Not even when she needed him most.

The redhead felt his mind start to clear. He recognized her pain, and that she didn't just constrict him to protect herself from physical outlash; she did it to protect her heart. He was held back so that she couldn't get too close, because the joy of unconditional love meant the possibility of great sorrow if lost. Madness even.

But this was madness too. All this woman wanted was care, and affection, but she pushed people away to keep herself safe. She was locking out the one thing she needed most, and Gaara had a great amount of experience from doing the exact same thing.

People using you, hurting you, abandoning you, and all after showing them how much you love them. He knew that pain, and he knew that snarling at the world wasn't going to get him the love he so desperately needed. He had to risk giving love, and showing vulnerability in able to receive it from people who were just as frightened as himself.

Everyone walked through this world in fear, and they all acted shamefully because of it.

"Sakura..." The redhead looked down at his lap, and her shivering form stilled to listen carefully to him. "I...wont...leave you...I promise..."

Sakura shot her head up to look into his eyes desperately; his vision was still blurred but her image was clean, and pure. She would always remain this way, no matter the sin.

"I promise...to always...be present in your life...always..." Gaara tried to form a smile with his numbed features. "Unconditionally...present...forever..."

His lovely doctor inhaled sharply, and her watery eyes widened considerably; as if he had said exactly what she needed to hear.

Then she rose up to his level by climbing up up his whole frame, cautiously grabbed his face in both of her hands, and kissed him.

The redhead breathed through his nose in relief, but she broke away from him as soon as he went to inhale. Feeling disappointment slide into him again, he chose accept that she would need to do everything at her own pace, and-

Sakura kissed him again, and this time she licked at his bottom lip sensually. Genuinely surprised, he hummed against her ecstatically. He parted his lips, and she dove in with a fire he hadn't felt from her before. His arms went to move, but once again he was reminded of his restraints. He felt her smirk against his mouth, and a small breathy laugh escaped her between kisses. She bit his pouting lower lip, and he groaned pleasantly, but also cursed it since he couldn't hold her in his arms. When she broke away after his lusty plea, he wondered if he had possibly messed up.

"You are so evil, you know that?" His doctor eyed him playfully, and he furrowed his brow in confusion. "I'm going to share a secret with you, but you can't tell anyone about it."

Gaara nodded slowly, knowing he would take great care of whatever knowledge she shared with him. Somehow he felt secrets were something they frequently shared together, and something nostalgic resonated within him at her words.

Yet, when her feminine hands untied the strings to his pants it became painfully aware that the secret she was going to share was not that of a verbal kind. His expression was curious at first, but as she lowered back down to her knees on the floor he felt a hot blush race towards his cheeks. She looked back up to meet his eyes, and all he could do was blink owlishly at her.

"Don't look so scared, Gaara. I'm not going to bite it off." Sakura said cheekily, and he felt another flush go straight to his face.

"I-I'm...sorry...I haven't...done this before." The redhead stuttered, and with the influence of the drugs his speech sounded shoddy at best. She raised a curious eyebrow at him, but finally shrugged in acceptance of his testament.

"Still a bit spacey, but you seem to be making a bit of progress. That's good." Even though her voice oozed professionalism, her hands delved below his waistline to retrieve their goal, and expose it to the light. "Still some confusion between the 'two worlds', as you call it, but I hypothesize that with time you'll find more mental clarity. Also, chemical stimulation has managed to help you tap in to some of those blacked out memories."

Gaara bit his lip as she handled him, unable to say anything back to her. She gave him a few test strokes, and he breathed harshly at the stimulation. Her jade eyes locked seductively onto his under the shade of her pink hair.

"The next test is physical stimulation to activate old pathways your mind has blocked off. I've been wary about this for a while, seeing as how we knew each other rather intimately in the past, and there are some things I'd rather you not remember, but if I force you to suppress them I fear you'll go straight back to your old ways... which could end up hurting you even more. I'm choosing the lesser of two evils." Sakura finally brought her mouth down after her little speech, and licked the underside of him slowly.

Any attempts at moving his arms earlier were nothing compared to now. He may have been in a chemically forced state of relaxation, but his sexual drive was coming back strong as his mind focused almost exclusively on the sensation her heated tongue gave. His skin buzzed pleasantly from the wet friction, and he panted hard just from one singular lick.

"I thought the sedative I administered earlier might make you react amorously, but this is unexpected." The doctor snickered before pumping his shaft, causing him to nearly buck with want. "Well, I haven't accounted for the days that had left you unsatisfied. I'm sure you've been needing this for a while now, haven't you?"

Sakura looked up at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. When he finally noticed, he nodded at her eagerly, and she bursted into a cute laugh.

"Aw, who's my best patient?" The mischievous doctor cooed, and he rolled his head back to look at the ceiling.

"I...am..." The redhead exhaled sharply, but his relaxation was short lived when he felt her tongue lap at his length lasciviously. He moaned softly.

"Who's my sexiest patient?" Sakura purred.

Gaara felt a heat envelope him, and his head came forward once more to look carefully at her. His eyes were lidded, and glazed, but hers were twinkling with mirth.

"I am." He answered more strongly than before, and with a tone that was husky, but leaned on authorative. She seemed pleased by his response, and he watched every detail as she wrapped her lips around him to take him in halfway while her hand made up for the remaining space.

At first the redhead tried to stay silent as he watched her work carefully, but with her enthusiasm, and the effect of those damned drugs with their relaxing, yet sensitive high, he couldn't stay that way for long. He felt like he was practically melting into the chair beneath him while also being electrified from the inside out. When her free hand scratch deeply down his thigh he gave a sharp moan in response. He could feel her snickering around his length, and it only added more sensitivity to it all.

It was sad that Sakura had her lips around him for only a few minutes, and already he felt like he was going to explode. However, watching her mouth at him like a popsicle melting in the summer heat didn't help in the least. It was enough just to have the physical stimulation, but to include a visual pushed him there twice as fast.

Her jade doe eyes flashed up at him, and the sultry look had him stitching his brows together with a blush as the intensity forced him to nearly whine in pleasure. It embarrassed him, but it was just too much, and his body went through the motions without his consent, or consideration for his modesty. His hips rolled with a quickly approaching need to finish.

Gaara almost cried when his doctor pulled her lips away from him.

"No...please don't...stop..." The redhead whimpered shamelessly, and she watched his length carefully as his erection twitched in need of release.

"You will wait." Sakura ordered before standing to brush off her knees. He clamped his eyes shut, and panted hard trying to keep the painfully absent, yet yearning sensation at a minimum.

The scent of her perfume invaded him first before he felt her tongue against his neck. He whimpered in want again, and she bit him painfully hard for it. At that, he gave a yelp, but the pain was soothed by the soft lapping of her tongue. She moved to the lobe of his ear, and licked up along the shell while filling him with the sound of her own hot breathing. He moaned pleasurable, and once again she bit him till he thought blood would come out, but then felt the area soothed by her soft tongue to rile him back up again.

Back and forth; rinse and repeat. This woman had him tight like the strings on a bow, and she would switch from sharp pitching to sweet sensual melodies. Keeping him forever in that area of limbo; wanting release, not being able to have it, but also not being allowed to come down either. Not to mention he couldn't even have the option of finishing things himself since he was trapped in the strait jacket. It was pure torture, but she seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself.

Gaara finally felt the pads of her fingertips run along his shaft, then over his tip. He cursed, and tried to thrust his hips into her hand, but was met with a firm bite to his jugular causing him to recoil. She licked at the fresh bite mark, and he was trembling with the anticipation of sweet release.

"You made my fingers dirty..." Sakura purred in his ear before pulling back to gaze at him. Confusion was apparent on his features until she held up her slender hand for for him to see clearly. An essence was dripping from her fingertips, and he knew that it was his own. "You're completely covered you know, you've never produced this much pre-cum before."

"I don't think...I've ever been stuck in this situation before..." Words were becoming easier for him, and the high from earlier was slowing down considerably. She gave a soft feminine laugh before licking one finger clean just inches away from his face.

"Still lost as always, Gaara." The doctor brought her glazed index finger up to his lips just centimeters away from touching him. "Will you open your mouth for me?"

The redhead knew what she wanted from him, and he licked at her finger first before wrapping his lips around the digit. He already knew how it would taste, but it didn't stop him from taking any part of her into his mouth. If he could, he would lick every square inch of her until her whole body glistened. She smiled darkly at him, and he knew that she was pleased.

"You've always been a bad boy, and yet you've always been so good for me. I feel very special." Sakura spoke just above a whisper, and removed her finger from his hungry mouth. "You make me want to do terrible things for you...do terrible things to you..."

"I'd appreciate both of those things." Gaara huffed with anticipation, and she smiled while clicking her tongue at him.

"I bet you'd love it if I got you out of that jacket... and let you fuck me like you truly want." He balked at the statement, and she snickered before grabbing his length again. The sensitivity of it caused him to give a sharp cry, and she hushed him teasingly. "Should I let you out, Gaara? Oh will you bust before I get there?"

The redhead groaned, half from knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to last through something like that at the moment, and half from the fact of how good her slick fingers felt stroking him. He numbly shook his head, and winced at the fact that he couldn't give her what she wanted.

Yet, she giggled at this, and that surprised him.

"There's my good boy. You'll never lie to me, even when you want something really bad." Sakura leaned in for a chaste kiss that he desperately wanted to last longer. She smiled at his neediness. "Maybe later you can have that, but right now I'll give you something almost as good."

Before Gaara could process it, she was already making her way back down again, and quickly took him into her mouth once more. Another sharp whine overcame him, and she sucked hard making the man arch his back tightly with pleasure. He cursed through his teeth as his head lolled back on the chair, his eyes shutting tight as electricity pulsed through him. He was so close now, and it only took her mouth milking him for a few seconds for him to get back to that edge.

The redhead's hands gripped painfully at the sides of his abdomen since he couldn't grip into her hair. His hips arched for better feeling as her sinful lips, and tongue ran sensually against him. His mouth remained open to moan continuously when he couldn't contain himself any longer.

Flooding heat rolled through him as pangs of ecstasy slammed his heart against his rib cage, and the shock to his system caused his muscles to tighten painfully amidst the drugs that tried to force him to do the opposite. He cursed again, and his head swirled as he began gushing hotly into her mouth. He felt the pulsation of cum leave him with a whine, and her throat swallowing his fluid made the whole ordeal even sweeter.

Sakura lapped at him, and at the slip of her tongue against his overly sensitive member he would wince part with pain, and part with pleasure. His glow was offset by her actions, but it still felt too good to argue against it.

Yet it didn't stop him from speaking his next words.

"I...I love you..." Gaara panted mindlessly, and he felt her stop her actions completely. When his eyes opened, and rested on her flushed face he suddenly felt regret over his choice of words.

She looked frightened.

"If good head is what makes you love a person, then I question whether this-"

"No. Sakura. That's not why I said it." The redhead went serious, and she seemed to recoil at it. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Stop saying you love me. You don't love me. Take it back." Sakura argued before standing, and wiping off her mouth. She bent forward to readjust his modesty before straightening in frustration.

"I'm not taking it back. It feels right." Gaara almost pouted, and she didn't find it cute this time.

"Bullshit, you wouldn't say it if you knew better." She turned to storm over to her desk, and he felt his temper as well as confusion flare.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you're a crazy person, and you belong here for saying shit like that to me."

"I said that I loved you, and that makes me crazy?!"

"Yes!" Sakura finally flipped around to face him bitterly. "I don't love you! And you don't love me, got it?! This means absolutely nothing! Sex is not love!"

"What is wrong with you?" The redhead furrowed his naked brows at her, and she seemed desperate to get him to see the situation from her angle.

"There's nothing wrong with me. You're the crazy person, and you're here because there's something wrong with you; not me-"

"If telling the people you care about that you love them is wrong, then I suppose you are right." When her eyes flashed to his in shock, his narrowed knowingly. "Put me back in my cell, Sakura. I don't want to be around people who forget what it's like to actually be human."

Her heels clacked loudly against the floor before her hand reeled back to slap him hard across the face. He didn't respond to her at first as his face turned down tingling with pain, but it didnt take him long to let her know he was still in the moment.

"Yes, hit me again. Get it all out. I say something you don't like, so that makes it okay for you to strike me." Gaara lifted his head to glare at her, and her expression dropped as if he had just stabbed her right in the gut. "If I'm not compliant, or predictable that makes me a threat. Do it. Fight the thing that frightens you. Your lack of trust tells me everything!"

"Stop talking!" She shreiked, but Gaara wouldn't let it go. He was so tired of the games in this hellish place, and he just wanted to dissapear.

Even thought he had promised to stay here for her, his strength to handle her instability was waning especially in the face of his own cracked sanity.

Yet, he knew he would come crawling back to this infuriating woman that smelled of cherry blossoms. Like a moth to the flame, he couldn't refuse her, but that didn't mean he wasn't bitter about her treatment towards him.

"How about you sedate me again, hmm? Let's make it all go away with a handy syringe! The truth is, you are just as insane as I am; if not more! You know what? I'll let you do your worst just because you're a fucking nutter like the rest of us!" The redhead let out one last battle cry to get his point across, but it seemed to have fallen on deaf ears.

He wasn't expecting a punch. Or a blackout for that matter, perhaps he had gotten a little carried away. Or she had gotten carried away.

At any rate, one thing was for certain...

Sakura had a mean right hook in all universes.

 **AN: Writing these chapters is rough! I'm constantly re-reading, and adding or subtracting... I will never be pleased Lmao! Anyways, I've been moving and shits a bit wonky with me unpacking everything and blah blah blaaah. My life is unimportant lol, but I'm trying to keep things rolling. I know YDCMDT (My other GaaSaku fic) has kind of been on hold because I'm having writers block for that one, but I'm not abandoning it. I won't abandon this one either no worries, it's just taking a minute lmao. This one I know what I want and have chapters planned out in my head BUUUUUT it' hard getting in chapters that connect the story, I just have major plot points not really any good build up. Its' rough, hope you guys are doing okay with my randomness. And if there's not a new chappie by v-day HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Be prepared for a bit of sexy, and a bit of weird ;)**

"He's alive! Oh thank goodness!"

Gaara could hear a woman crying, and he found the sound to be familiar. A voice he hadn't heard in a while in both worlds.

"...Temari?" The redhead groaned, and struggled to move finding his limbs to be nearly dead weight. Several gasps were heard, and he realized that she wasn't the only one at his side.

"Lord Kazekage, please stay still. I've extracted the poison, but you're not out of the woods just yet." An even more familiar voice trickled soothingly into his ears, and he knew her immediately. "This poison has had to be the worst I've ever seen, the amount of damage done was on a scale that would kill an ordinary ninja in minutes, yet you survived without assistance for hours. You should thank Shukaku for leaving you with a bit of his strengths, I'm assuming that's the only reason you actually survived-"

"Sakura... how long have you been here?" Gaara croaked hoarsely, and finally opened his eyes into slits to see her. She was blurred, but it was her. The air smelled like her cherry blossom fragrance, and he could see the colors of her clearly enough. He couldn't help but smile at seeing her as the medic ninja he knew, and loved.

'Wait. I shouldn't love her here...' That's when it hit him like a cold splash of water.

He remembered everything.

"I've been here for a week, and you should be glad that we had the fortune of crossing paths, or else you would be dead now." Sakura scolded him, and he could hear the others in the room whispering to themselves at her disrespect towards him, but he welcomed the behavior with a tired smile. "You should thank your jinchuriki-stars that you're even alive! Even though you are Kazekage, and a former jinchuriki you are still a mortal man. You should have a squad with you on every mission so that these things won't happen."

The redhead gave a genuine, yet strained laugh at her stern maternal behavior.

"How else am I going to get the most beautiful medic in the world to treat me?" Gaara mused, giving her a warm smile. As her face finally came into focus he saw shock gracing her features, and realized once again that they did not have an intimate relationship here as they did back in the asylum. He wondered what would happen now that he carried this strange other world with him.

"I'm...going to get something for your head. You seem a bit off, Lord Kazekage..." The medic blushed before setting off to find whatever medicine she needed to treat his 'head' problem, but he knew full well that it wouldn't go away with any herbs or potions.

Temari took over the space that the medic had vacated, and took her brother's hand into her own. He formed a smile for her, and she gave a weak one in return.

"You know, I'm not supposed to be worrying so much like this. It could mess with my pregnancy." It was his sister's turn to scold him, and he didn't know if he could handle the guilt of it.

"Have you figured out the sex of the child?-"

"Gaara, don't change the subject! You went off on your own when you shouldn't have! You're not a kid anymore, let alone the vessel for Shukaku!" The blonde barked, and snapped, but the redhead accepted any punishments she doled out. He let his head fall back down onto the pillow beneath him, and his eyes closed peacefully to the sounds of her familiar nagging.

He strangely missed this.

Gaara had apparently started to sleep again, as when his eyes opened he viewed a world of white, and that beautiful woman stood over him again with her blasted light shining in his eyes.

"Why do I keep coming back here? I need to go home." The redhead mumbled, and soft hands smoothed from his temple down his jawline. His eyes fluttered open, and Sakura was staring down at him worriedly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you like that..." The doctor's voice was just above a whisper, and her hand trembled against his skin. He frowned.

"You meant it. Don't lie... all because I said that I loved you... So selfish..." Gaara closed his eyes again with a huff. "You're like a Venus fly trap enticing me with your nectar, but once I'm in too deep you bite off my head. So cruel, and cold. I wish for just once in our lives you would approach me with the intent to love instead of the intent to just fuck around-"

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to interrupt this... dream your having... You need to take some of this medicine." Sakura sounded nervous, and awkward. He opened his eyes to see her as a ninja, and not a common doctor. His brows furrowed, and he didn't understand why he was jumping between realities. Everyone else had apparently left; probably to go rest after worrying so much over his life.

Now it was just him, and the woman of his interests, alone in an awkward moment.

"My apologies... I hope I didn't say anything too strange." The redhead finally found the strength to move his arms, but only just barely. He saw a powder wrapped in the folded paper within her hand, and his fingertips brushed the inside of her wrist as he took the envelope; bringing it to his mouth to pour onto his tongue. The bitter, tangy flavor made him cringe, but when she handed him a cup of herbal tea he quickly swallowed everything down. When his eyes rose up to meet her own he found her blushing yet again.

'I must have said something ridiculous...'

"Well, it's strange to hear you talk about fucking around..." The kunoichi brushed her pink locks casually behind her ear, and he noticed now that her hair was a bit longer than it was a year ago. When he focused on her blushing cheeks again he finally ingested her sentence fully, and felt a smirk creeping up on him before he glanced at the ceiling.

"Do you really think of me so modestly? I almost murdered you when we were children, and if I threw you around like a rag doll back then I certainly could do it now under a different context." Gaara smiled darkly to himself, but as the silence in the room thickened he realized his error. He looked over to her carefully to judge her reaction, and predictably she seemed appalled. "I...am very sorry... I did not mean that..."

"It's okay. I have heard worse from far crazier patients." Sakura started to warm again, but the words 'crazier patients' dug into him rather bitterly. "If anything I should get a recorder! 'Kazekage's poison-induced raunchy rambles', the recording would sell like hot cakes!"

"If you are implying that I talk dirty for your own profit then I would need something equivalent from you." The redhead raised his naked brows at her, and she gave a incredulous laugh in response.

"My my my, Lord Kazekage, you are positively scandalous tonight!" The kunoichi then rose out of her seat to busy herself by checking his fluid bag, and vital signs from the electrocardiogram.

"I'm not hearing any objections, so why not try my luck?" Gaara narrowed his eyes suggestively as they followed her working figure. She paused to give him a disbelieving expression, blinking almost dumbly at him.

"Either you turned into Casanova overnight due to poison, or you've been reading too much of the Makeout series this past year." Sakura scoffed before grabbing a stethoscope off a small metal table. She breathed on the round metal piece before placing it on Gaara's bare chest. Her hair fell into her face, and he tried to raise his arm to move it for her, but could only lift it so far before his strength gave out. She gave a humorous huff at his effort. "Yeah, you're as harmless as a newborn puppy."

"You forget, new born puppies can still bite." At his own words he cracked a smile finding the idea of nipping little puppies humorous, and cute.

"I hope you're not implying that you will bite me, Gaara." The medic pulled out a tongue depressor, and upon seeing it he opened his mouth wide for her to check his throat. When she deemed the exam satisifactory she removed the stick, and threw it in the waste bin next to the medical cot.

"I won't bite you, unless you give me permission to do so." Gaara deadpanned, and she straightened fully at his declaration.

"You are treading on thin ice, Lord Kazekage." Sakura narrowed her eyes at him, and for some reason he couldn't understand why he wasn't feeling shame for the things he had said. If anything, he was finding this strangely amusing. "I'm not one of your easy fangirls, so you can put your 'milk teeth' away."

"It's a good thing I wasn't looking for an easy girl then. I far more enjoy a woman who can challenge me." He bit back almost instantly, getting a curious glance from the kunoichi.

The response had obviously won him some sort of points with her, because her bashfulness began to show through. He knew she appreciated him claiming her to be something more than just a pretty face, just as he liked to be more than just a jinchuriki, or a Kazekage. To be referred to as the person underneath the skin was the best compliment.

"Stop buttering me up. It's not going to get you anywhere." The medic smiled under her scolding facade, and he couldn't help but join her in grinning.

"I only wanted to make you smile, nothing sinister. However, I won't object if you find me suitabl-"

"Ah-ah-ah! Nope! You need to slow your roll, Prince Charming." She bent over to fix his pillows a bit, and he inhaled her scent silently. "Live to flirt another day, you need rest."

"I will sleep if you promise to be here when I wake up again." He closed his eyes, and waited patiently for her answer.

It was silent for a long time until he heard her shuffle slightly.

"Um...sure. Yeah, I'll be here for a while doing your check ups as well as studying that poison. So...yeah..." Her voice wavered nervously as she fussed with his blankets one last time; maternal as always, that Sakura.

Gaara wanted to say something to her, but he was already drifting in and out of time. He would be back for sure, and this Sakura would be here when he returned from his dreaming.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this you know..."

Her voice invaded his concious once more, and he perked his ears waiting for her to continue.

"I never wanted you to come here, I thought we could just leave everything behind us when we got out of school... but then you had to do that... If you would have just fucking waited we would have been fine. I could have handled it! I was handling It! It's not my fault you're here!" When she started screaming, he felt his heart skip a beat. Apparently he had caused her some sort of grief in their past, and he couldn't remember what he had done.

However, whatever it was... his subconscious made it known to him that it was wrong, and he felt a sickness wash over him that he hadn't felt in a while. It was an intense wave of putrid guilt, and shame.

"You can't go on saying you love me, you can't do that anymore. It ruined you." The doctor started to cry softly, and he finally managed to crack open his eyes to see her in the dark. She was sitting on a chair in the darkest corner of his room, crying quietly while murmuring to herself. He sat up with an aching groan, and she stilled as if it would make her invisible.

"I'm not ruined, but you seem to be going down that path..." Gaara looked down, and saw he was no longer bound by the jacket, but rather in a plain white T-shirt with the usual sweatpants. It gave him a feeling of relief knowing he could fight back now.

"You don't know anything. So stop trying to empathize with me." Sakura bit back venomously, and he bristled at her bitterness.

"Why are you afraid of me falling in love with you?" He didn't mean to ask it, but it fell so simply from his lips that he didn't bother taking it back. Yet, the silence that followed was palpable especially in the thickness of night.

"Our relationship is a sickness. It was formed in sin, fueled by sin, and destroyed by sin. I became a psychiatrist because of you, did you know that?" The doctor rose her head in the shadows, but he could only see the barest glimmer of light from her watery eyes. Her energy alone was one of darkness.

"I did not know that..." The redhead answered carefully, treading delicately on the eggshells she threw before him. They crackled underneath him as her dark laugh filled the room.

"I didn't want this! I wanted to be a pediatrician! But your fucking mind was such an enigma for me that I couldn't help myself. I dove straight into the studies of the mind to find a way to fix your stupid ass. Because I told myself...I told myself...that..." She stopped abruptly, and stood up just as quickly from her spot. He jumped at the sudden action as it was fast, and unexpected, but she paid no mind to his comfort as she stormed over to his bedside. She glared down at him before pressing on his shoulders with all of her weight until he laid flat against the mattress. She swung a leg over to straddle him, and he allowed her to do as she pleased. However, he regretted the decision when she lowered her face down towards his own, and ghosted her lips against his.

"I hate you."

The words were crisp, and clear as they flowed through his veins freezing his whole system. His breath started to shake, and she kissed him tenderly. It wasn't right, this was not right. It was sick. Something was wrong with her. He broke away from her by turning his head to the side, but it didn't stop her from sucking at his neck.

"Sakura. Stop." Gaara asked gently, and he felt her shake her head in response. "Stop."

"No. You will take this. You ruined my life. You ruined it for us." Sakura's hand fisted into his hair, and pulled making his body arch on its own with a painful groan. Her legs entwined with his as she placed her teasing thigh against his groin, and he almost felt himself melting as her mouth went back to suckle softly at his jugular.

"You don't do this with...people you...hate..." The redhead panted, feeling himself turn into a puddle under her groping hands. She started to cry against his neck, and he felt that same wave of guilt hit him again.

"Can't you see? I only do this with people I hate... there is no other way..." She sobbed against him, and this time he was able to hold her as she cried.

She needed to hate him. Why? He couldn't say, but she needed an outlet. She wasn't functioning like a normal human being. Perhaps the more sane he was, the less sane she would become. Maybe he needed to restore the balance...

It might be that she was projecting; instead of facing it head on she was molding him into the enemy for her own safety.

The redhead turned the tables, and flipped them around so she could be underneath him. Her eyes widened with panic, but he didn't wait for them to settle before kissing her deeply.

He would do it, he would play that role for her. This broken woman would have the villain she clearly needed to find some sort of clarity.

Gaara pressed further against her while running his hand up her thigh until it slipped under her skirt. His other hand fussed with the buttons of her red blouse, and she wriggled underneath him nervously. He broke the contact of their lips to gauge her, and the fear in her eyes was rampant.

"You can stop me. I will stop if you tell me to." That wasn't what he was trying to go for, but he couldn't help reassuring her. In all honesty he didn't want to hurt her, or scare her, or give her any sort of discomfort. Even with her pinning it on him like he were a criminal.

He would play the bad guy, but he truly didn't want to be that person anymore.

With her nerves raw, and exposed, the redhead didn't think she would move his hand between her own legs. It was strange, and not what one would call comforting, but it was what she wanted from him. He felt a moisture forming through her underwear, and found that all this time when doused in fear she was aroused by the horrid emotion.

There was a cycle here, and she was forcing him to play into it. She needed the man to be disgustingly evil in able to go through with a sexual act. It was so clear now, and staring him right in the face.

Gaara pulled back his hand, deciding that what she wanted from him wasn't good after all. It just damaged her further.

Sakura Haruno was officially crazier than him when it came to human relationships.

"Gaara...why are you-?"

"It's not right. This is not affection, loving, caring, or even the least bit helpful. It's wrong, Sakura." The redhead sat back on his knees, and the woman beneath him scowled.

"You are such a liar! You're just like the rest of them! You get off once, and it's okay to leave me behind!" Sakura snarled at him, and he felt her emotions rolling through his own body, remembering the times his own face held that same look of disdain.

"That's not it at all. You are just approaching this the wrong way." Gaara gently moved a lock of hair out of her eyes, and studied her vicious expression as best he could in the dark. "If I am to touch you, it is so that you will feel closeness with another human being. Intimacy, presence, attunement, caring for one anoth-"

"Don't feed me that romantic crap!" The doctor shoved at his chest violently, but he remained surprisingly calm. "Sex is not love! It's just fucking! Getting off! That's all-!"

"It can be both." He interrupted her, but his words seemed to stop her all the same. He had her full wide eyed attention. "It can be for instinct, dominance, lust, or love. You decide which one it is you want, but any way it is done I will only do it because I care for you."

"Shut up! Liar liar liar liar liar-!" Sakura smacked away at his chest violently, but he let her release her frustration knowing full well that he could handle her strikes with ease. As she started to tire herself out he gently took her hands, and held them supportively in his own. She sobbed like a small child, and wheezed painfully with hard attempts to breathe through her crying. He felt truly sorry for her, and the fact that she couldn't find closure from her past.

"What happened to you... what has been happening to you recently... that is not love. Those people did not love you, or care for you, and it is not your fault." As he spoke, he felt her fingers squeezing against his own with the need for stability. He knew her true feelings now, and saw just how broken she really was. She needed someone to stop her, and put a blanket around her cold shivering shoulders with great care. "Your emotions are real, and they are the compass to your heart. I see them, I acknowledge them, and I respect them, but I will not take actions that will hurt you. I won't do it."

"Why are you doing this? Why are you saying these things?" Sakura slowed in her crying, but sometimes a key word here and there would make her break out into a few more tears. He was resonating with her, and this was good.

"I say these things because I care for you. I want you to be happy because it mirrors within me when you are. When you smile, or laugh I can feel it. Like the sun shining from all sides, it is beautiful." Gaara thumbed away a falling tear from her cheek, and felt her breath quake. "I want to profit from your needs when they are met. To watch you smile at me genuinely because you are truly at peace is a wonderful thing. You are precious to me..."

The silence this time was peaceful, as if every passage of thought was clear as a lake untouched by human hands; he had purified this space. The doctor gazed at her patient in wonder, as if seeing him for the first time.

"You can't be human...You can't be real..." Sakura murmured spacily, and as she reached up to touch his face he leaned into her hand in submission to her desires. "Please kiss me..."

At first he blushed, it was such an innocent request, but it seemed more personal than before. He finally nodded, and leaned down to mold his lips against her own. The kiss was gentle, and nurturing, but he still kept his mouth slightly firm to show her that he would stay strong.

The kiss was smooth, but it showed no weakness within him.

Gaara tensed slightly when her hands wandered his frame, but he quickly melted into her touch as he lowered himself carefully onto her body. Her hands retreated to hike up her skirt so she could wrap a silky leg around him, then pulled his hips down against her own with a neediness that he almost laughed at. The kiss grew passionate quickly as his hormones finally woke up. His blood pulsed hotly through his veins as he held her smaller form even closer to his own.

Her figure was so delicate, and fragile, but he knew that she was stronger than she looked or felt. So dragging his teeth along her neck didn't worry him in the least, and her bucking into him told him how she enjoyed it. He finally slipped his hand between them again, and found her heat once more. Her underwear was more than just damp, and he smiled knowing that she got to this point out of healthy desire for him rather than the unstable one she held before.

The redhead wanted this experience to be good for her, and to not be riddled with trauma. He was glad he could get her into a safe headspace again.

Sakura whined impatiently at him, and he realized he had been making her wait. With a breathy laugh, he slipped his fingers beneath the waistline of her panties to slide against her sensitive slick folds. For some reason he knew just what to do, and she responded to him with mewls of delight as he rubbed calculated circles against her.

This was what he wanted; to bring her this sort of ecstasy, and watch her react so enthusiastically to his touch. It sent tingling shivers down his spine with each pleasant sound that left her lips.

Gaara let his other hand entwined in her soft pink locks to enjoy their silkiness between his fingers. Her mouth opened for another moan, and he decided that his lips had to be on hers. Open mouthed kisses turned into heated connected breaths, and she mewled again making his skin buzz with warmth. She gave a sharp cry against his lips, and bucked against his hand making it known that she was close. He chose to do something a bit spontaneous, and slipped three fingers into her. She bucked again at the sudden action, and gave a deeper moan making the butterflies in his stomach flutter violently inside him. He pulled away to see her face clearly, but still stayed intimately close causing her to shy, and flush.

The redhead pumped his fingers into her, and watched curiously as her face twisted into one of pleasure. This was more intense then the one he had caught her in before, and funnily enough he wasn't even having sex with her to get her to this point. She panted, pleaded, moaned, and whined beneath him as he worked the fingers inside of her. Sweat broke out along her brow, and her skin felt feverish to the touch.

Sakura was so incredibly beautiful, and he wanted more than just his fingers to be inside of her. However, his own personal pleasure could easily wait. Knowing that he could bring her this form of enjoyment, even without fully taking her, was enough to keep him sated. He lived vicariously through her ecstasy, and he loved every single second of it.

Every moan, jolt, grind, pant, sigh, tense, and cry from her made him feel more alive. How anyone could just use her for their own pleasure was beyond him, as watching her react was the most curious, and fantastic thing he had ever witnessed. Yet, when one of her hands gripped his shoulder, and the other wound tightly in his firey hair, he felt pulled into the action. Her fingers would grip hard at him with every wave of pleasure she felt, and it made him come close to losing his own sense of self in favor of being one with her. To feel her sensations at the same moment that she herself felt them was becoming a great desire, but the inner argument he was currently having was keeping him from his end goal.

Right now, Gaara wanted to watch her. He wanted to see her climax in full detail without the haze of lust fogging his mind. He needed to have a full recollection of every inch of her at every second, because she was just that beautiful. She was just that perfect in this fleeting moment that probably only lasted thirty seconds to a minute.

Sakura gave a sharp cry, and pulled herself up flush against him. He was shocked by the sudden movement, but as she tensed around his fingers he found he truly enjoyed this closeness. He could feel her heart trying to break through her rib cage, and her voice cracked hoarsely from overuse. Her hands gripped his head, and shoulder so hard they started to ache, but the pain told him just how good it felt for her thus making him hiss pleasantly through his teeth rather than bitterly. He kept his aqua eyes focused on her dilated ones, and her expression looked as if she were about to cry or laugh, but instead she moaned his name sweetly. Her cheeks, and lips were flushed with blood making them ripe.

God she was stunning.

The redhead couldn't help himself from kissing her again, and she whimpered needily against his heated mouth.

No, he wasn't going to be able to hold back. There was absolutely no way he could keep himself contained anymore. He had never wanted anything so badly in his life, and the urge to just fuck her was so overwhelming it was the sole thought in his head. That instinct was raw, and she was still pulsing around his fingers. All he would have to do is lay her down, adjust himself out of his pants, and thrust into her. That's all it would take; there was nothing else in the way...

"You two are loud."

Something, or rather someone, has now gotten in the way. He felt the blood drain from all of his extremities, and back to his heart. It were as if someone doused him with ice water; numbing yet terribly painful.

Gaara looked carefully at the woman in his arms, and her expression was glowing yet stern. He turned around to see a brunette standing in the doorway, and he knew the patient well enough. He also knew why the doctor wasn't in a panic over getting caught, and so he also breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sasuke, go back to your room." Sakura narrowed her eyes, and the Uchiha matched her.

The redhead didn't appreciate him looking at her that way.

"If I go now, you'll just make even more noise. If you're going to do that perverted shit than take it back to your office. I don't want to hear you yowling like a feral cat." Sasuke full on glowered at them, and Gaara returned the look tenfold.

Out of the two delinquents, Gaara knew he had a far more intimidating face. The redhead could pass as handsome, innocent, and even cute sometimes, but he knew he could put on that special air that scared the shit out of anyone that looked at him.

Sasuke just looked... like a pissed off teenager.

"Im surprised you're not in Orochimaru's office-"

"You shut your fucking mouth tanuki-bastard! You don't know anything!" The brunette yelled sternly, and the redhead felt a wild hair pop up to just go over there and strangle the Uchiha to death, but he stayed in his spot due to the presence of his beloved doctor.

Said doctor gave an irritated groan, and stood up to approach the man her other-self held affections for. Gaara felt oddly jealous as she approached the other patient, and tried desperately to not think about how much she loved the Uchiha in the other world; in, perhaps, reality.

"Sasuke, we will stop out of respect for you. Please don't speak of this to anyone. You know I keep your secrets, can I trust that you will keep mine?" When she brushed some of Sasuke's hair out of his eyes an uncontrollable rage consumed the redhead, and his body started to shake as a different type of heat consumed him. The brunette was very keen of his surroundings, and noticed the aura almost immediately.

"What's wrong, mutt? Can't get a bone?" Sasuke gave a sinister smile making every muscle, and tendon tense with restraint. Sakura looked between the two, and quietly went back to Gaara's side knowing that he needed to become calm or else all hell would break loose. "Do you want to hit me, raccoon-dog?"

"Beware the fury of a patient man." The redhead spoke in a stoic fashion, but under the surface there was a fire blazing white hot with rage, and jealousy. The brunette rolled his eyes before turning his back on the situation, and walked silently back to his room.

The doctor gingerly touched her patient's forearm to soothe him, but he jolted at the contact rather than invited it. Her eyes searched him carefully, and tried placing a kiss on his cheek, but he leaned away from her.

"Really, Gaara? You can come upstairs with me if you want-"

"I'm not in the mood." Gaara nearly growled, and she recoiled from him in shock at his odd behavior.

"What's going on? Everything was fine before Sasuke showed up..." Sakura went to push his firey locks away from his kanji, but he once again leaned away from her.

"You're too familiar with him..." He finally grumbled out, and she blinked at him in surprise.

"Are you really jealous? There is nothing between me and Sasuke!" She went to argue, but he shook his head at her before crawling over to his pillow.

"You know him well enough to keep secrets, and touch him tenderly. That's enough evidence for me." The redhead bit before laying his head down for the night. He honestly just wanted to sleep, and he was feeling quite sick at the moment.

"Gaara, it's not like that at all-"

"I just want to be alone. Please leave." His breath quaked as he did slow inhales and exhales to try to calm his residual rage.

Was she seeing Sasuke on the side? Had they ever slept together? What secrets?

He didn't notice her leave until the lock clicked behind her, and he numbly looked at the door feeling his heart start to ache.

Gaara had actually wanted her to stay.

Secretly he wanted her to keep reassuring him that his suspicions were wrong, but humans are not mind readers, and they don't instinctually know the wants and needs of others.

 **AN: I have the next chapter all written up, I'm just waiting to write up the one after it before posting the next, lmao does that make sense? Lolololololol anyways, hope you guys are enjoying it so far. Some of your reviews have had me all sorts of giddy, and proud. I love you all, thank you for your wonderful feedback I AM UNWORTHAAAAAY! Mwah mwah kisses! Xoxoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Alright a fair warning to you all, this chapter contains sexual assault refrences, child abuse, and mature sexual content. If it is too graphic I will take it down without a a fuss, but I do feel it' a rather special chapter that goes into some mental and physical healing/coping. It's kinda sexy, but it's more special, and with that usual twist of weird reality I love so much. ENJOY!**

The air was hot, and humid enough that you could probably cut it with a knife. For a summer night it was strange in comparison to the usual colder evenings, and blistering days.

Gaara sat on the top of the small playground's slide. It had a large enough sitting space that a few teenagers could probably fit on the platform, and he assumed some had earlier judging by the cigarette butts he had found.

He was halfway through summer vacation, and already he hated every second of it. When Rasa seemed to be in a foul mood, he would get a drink in his system before lashing out on his youngest. Kankuro had luckily patched him up last time with some rubbing alcohol and superglue, but the gash on the redhead's shoulder still stung horribly even after a few days of healing. He hoped it hadn't gotten infected.

Tonight was rather special as Rasa decided to come home drunk in the middle of the night, and literally rip the poor kid out of his bed to beat him. Apparently the problem this time was that Gaara hadn't properly lined up his shoes at the front door, and that was deserving of a few backhands. Of course he ran out of there like a bat out of hell, and he would go home after his father left to go to work for the day. Which meant he would be out here until seven o'clock in the morning.

Well, at least it was warm.

Gaara looked down at the swing set, and remembered her sitting there in the rain. It felt like so long ago, but in reality it had only been a couple months. In the days that followed after his trist with the pretty girl named Sakura, he had seen her at school maybe three out of five days a week. Each time she had arrived after a weekend she looked like she had been put through the rack. Her limbs almost always had some sort of bruise, but in this small town no one seemed to care. Everyone kept to their own business, unless someone had died, then everyone needed to have their nose in it.

At any rate, they hadn't hung out like he had wanted to after that. She was always occupied at home. Her new stepfather was certainly a disgusting human being, and apparently good pals with the redhead's own father, Rasa, so the teen got a good chunk of the details that were going on in Sakura's house.

That stepdad of hers was dealing in all sorts of bad news, and that pig decided that fucking his stepchild was a grand idea. Gaara was livid, but stayed quiet not wanting Rasa to know about himself and Sakura less the man go after her to get at Gaara. The redhead did not want that girl to become another punching bag for his sick father to let loose on, he would reserve that title for himself alone to keep the beast at bay.

The wind blew hot against his skin, but the trees gave it an almost trickling sound. He imagined the rain that day, and looked towards the swing almost expecting her to be there. When her figure was clear to see he realized just how crazy he actually was. He'd have to get another brain scan done-

"Gaara?" The figure spoke, and he knew the meek voice as soon as it hit his ears. She was so quiet, as if she were trying to keep her presence hidden.

"Are you a hallucination?" Gaara called down to her, and surprisingly she stood from the swing to walk towards the slide. He noticed that she had grown a bit more, and her hair had been cut short making it flip out at the sides by her chin. She had changed quite a bit...

"No, are you?" Her voice came out stronger than before, and he realized that his presence seemed to ease her tonight. That comforted him. "Can I come up?"

"Do what thou will." The redhead snickered to himself at the 'satanic' saying, and it made the girl wrinkle her nose at him before climbing the ladder to get to the platform.

Gaara watched eagerly as her face revealed itself over the horizon of the hard surface, and he swore she was an angel climbing out of hell radiating with a beautiful halo, but he realized it was just the far street lamp shining off of her hair. Her eyes met his own, and they stared at each other knowingly before she crawled into the shadows with him. He wasn't expecting her to slide right up to him, and he tensed as her shoulder brushed against his own while she settled.

He looked at her outfit, and found it cute that she still wore short corduroy overalls over a red t-shirt. It made her look childish, where as he tried to look a bit mature in his standard black t-shirt, and dark jeans. He always went dark on clothing; not because he was some sort of depressed-cultured kid, oh no, it was so that when he ran out at night it would make it easier to hide. He'd usually sport a hoodie for extra coverage, but he had been in more of a rush this time so it got left behind.

"You got bigger..." Sakura murmured softly before bringing in her knees to her chest. Her gaze wandered his frame, and for the first time he understood how it felt now when someone would say how they were 'undressed' by someone's eyes, but he did not mind it coming from her; regardless of the blush he sported. He eyed her for a moment as well before looking off into the overcast night.

"You cut your hair." Gaara bit back sarcastically, and she gave a tired laugh in response.

"Yeah, I wanted to look like a boy... but it didn't work..." She leaned her head against his shoulder, and his stomach clenched at her closeness. It were as if no time had passed since that day in April. There seemed to be no loss of intimacy between them, if anything it felt like there was more.

"You look like a little kid instead of a boy." The redhead snickered defensively as he wasn't used to such closeness, but regretted the action when he felt her tense.

"Would you still want me... if I were a boy?" Her hand found his in the dark, and he felt another rush of heat go straight to his face. His heart seemed to push fiercely against his sternum, and he wondered why her touch would give him such a strange reaction. He thought about her words, however, and frowned thoughtfully.

It was an odd question.

"I'm not sure... if you still had the same face... then maybe, but I don't want to get it in the ass so-"

When her bell like laugh cut through the darkness he felt like he could melt into a puddle of goo. Her laugh was so beautiful that he had started to consider looking into jokes just to hear her laugh more. Her smile was also worth learning a few wisecracks, as it could bring light to even a blind man's eyes.

"Okay, you can be the top then, but if I have a penis I still expect you to do stuff with it." Sakura laughed, and he felt another blush at the thought of just being on top of her, but grimaced at the image of her with male genitals...

"Why are we suddenly in a gay relationship?" Gaara kicked out his legs, and felt butterflies when she put their clasped hands on his thigh. Little by little he felt as if she were trying to get closer to him, but he kind of enjoyed the attention so he wasn't going to stop her anytime soon.

"Because it's different..." She stated plainly, and he understood why she wanted it that way, but he knew that it wasn't right. It was plainly obvious that she was attracted to him, and her wanting to become a boy due to sexual assault wasn't the right answer for her. If anything, she should embrace her femininity, and get the fuck out of that house she called hell.

"Our relationship would already be different, because it's me and you. It will always be me and you, no matter what sex we are." He turned his head to look down at her, finding her lashes were insanely long. She was so innocent looking that he couldn't imagine her having ever been touched in such sadistically sick ways, but it was probably because she had no desire to be touched that way in the first place that her childlike disposition still remained. He absent mindedly opened his mouth.

"Why are you here?"

The crickets and bullfrogs were loud. They didn't signal an awkward silence like in the movies, but rather added a beautiful numbing tone to the world around them. Her disparaging sigh only added to the strangeness of it all.

"He won't stop. Even when I'm bleeding it's not a problem for him. I knew he'd come to my room again tonight, so I slipped out before he got home. I'll probably get in trouble, but I don't care anymore." Sakura turned her body to cling to him, unraveling their hands in favor of clutching at his shirt while she nuzzled herself against his chest. He tensed, blushed, and blinked about himself trying to piece together her affections as best as he could. "I'm not on my period today, but I still had to leave... why are you here? Is it your dad?"

When he nodded silently, she knew he was doing it without even having to look up. The attunement they carried for one another was truly remarkable to say the least.

"His name is Rasa, right? My stepdad has had him over a couple of times... He looks a lot like you..." The teen gripped harder around him, and he winced from the bruises he sported, but wouldn't remove her for anything in the world. So instead, he wrapped his arms around her tenderly. "When I see your dad, I start to miss you, but I know I can't come find you. They can't know about us, and our secret."

"I agree. If Rasa knows, he'll come after you somehow... He hates me that much." Gaara held her a bit tighter, and their feelings were pleasantly mutual.

Sakura ran her fingers longingly across his chest, and he invited the pleasant touch with no problems, but as she brought up her head to suck at his neck he tensed considerably beneath her.

"Wh-what..are you...-?"

"I brought a condom with me just in case you were here... and you are here, so it must be destiny..." She started to climb onto his lap. He balked at her admission to what she carried in her pockets, their purpose, and her sudden physical position over his body.

The redhead was flattered, confused, aroused, and frightened by it all. He was a year older than her, but this once shy girl was wanting to take his virginity at the drop of a hat. Why?

"I-I...I only have s-sex for l-love..." He inwardly cursed at himself for showing his nervousness towards this tiny teen beauty that had sat herself so willingly on his lap. Her jade eyes sparkled in the dark, and he saw life there that was absent before this moment. She seemed intrigued by his reaction. He was also so curious towards her, and those glittering eyes she flittered along his frame.

"If I promise to love you forever, will you have sex with me?" Sakura blinked normally at him with her intense lashes; her words sounded so casual, but carried such a great weight. He swallowed hard, and felt sweat form at his temples in the humid night. Her skin was glistening from the moisture in the air too, but she made it seem ethereal.

He wanted her, of course, but this time she had the reigns which made him feel raw, and exposed. His body had made the instinctual response of intent to mate, and that was predictable, but he never thought this sort of experience would happen to him. Rasa had forced it into his mind that the only person who would love the redhead is Gaara himself, and the boy had engraved that thought literally onto his forehead with a sharp knife at the age of five...

"You barely know me... and now you're saying you'll love me forever if I have sex with you. That's pretty strange, don't you think?" Gaara sighed to himself before sitting up straight, causing her to sit back on her knees. His face was closer to hers now, but he didn't feel as if he was threatening her in any way; nor did she respond as if he had. There was a good deal of trust between them, and that had him thinking. "Say I do go through with it, what then? We jump right into marriage, and kids without even knowing each other's middle names?"

At the mention of marriage, and children, her curiosity seemed to be piqued. When her expression changed to one of bashful hope he felt suddenly unable to turn her down less he crush her beautiful energy, and yet he didn't regret the topic being brought up even though it was rather far fetched.

"If you want to marry me I'm cool with it. We could have kids too, I actually like little kids a lot." Sakura smiled shyly before meeting his gaze properly. "What's your middle name?"

"Pffft, Rasa, of course." The redhead pouted, and she had to stifle a giggle before crawling back into his personal space. Her hands played at the fabric covering his chest, and he felt butterflies once more when she gave a small smile.

"Mebuki, after my mother." The girl referred to herself while blinking at him again, and for a second he was lost in her eyes, that is until she kissed him. His head spun with the explosion of sensations, and she bit confidently on his bottom lip just once before pulling away. He wanted to protest, and kiss her longer, but she gave him a coy smile leaving him completely dumb. Her hands shuffled through her back pocket, and he was pulled violently back into reality as she pulled out the metallic square wrapper.

"Woah-woah-woah can we just...makeout for a while or something?" Gaara tensed again, but remained intrigued as she started unsnapping the straps to her overalls. She slipped them down her thighs to reveal nothing but the red t-shirt underneath before lifting each knee to shimmy the garment off completely.

As much as he enjoyed the revealing sight of her, he felt like steps were being skipped. Time seemed to be rushing him through this, and he didn't know if he was ready.

"I'm sorry, but you'll never be prepared for it. It's best if you just dive into it. Trust me." She leaned forward to mess with the fastening of his pants, and he nearly jolted out of his skin as her hand brushed against the denim covering the erection he had gained. He was nervous, self conscious, fearful, excited, and worried. What was he supposed to do? Should he take charge? Weren't they supposed to touch each other first? It was going so fast, all he could do was breathe sharply through his nose, and twitch his hands. "Hey...sssh...it's okay. It won't hurt you, it only hurts me."

The blood drained from his face, and suddenly he didn't want to do this anymore. Her thought process was skewed, sick even, and he felt his stomach churn at the idea that she was linking this experience to rape. He didn't want her to feel like this with him, but before he could really protest she had moved south, and placed her pouting lips around his length without much warning.

Gaara melted like ice cream on a hot summer day, and nearly sighed like a woman as her eager mouth traced his erection.

This wasn't expected; this feeling was beyond what he had imagined it would feel like, and he now understood how a man could easily be controlled by a woman in this way. Eating out of the palms of their feminine hands just to get one more erotic high that made your head roll back with tension, and nirvana combined. Any thought of stopping before was immediately thrown out the window. This girl could take him however she pleased, as his thought processes were completely overtaken by eros. Brainwashed, and lost in her lascivious lips. It was as if her mouth was made to fit perfectly around him...

The redhead's dreamy bubble popped when the girl pulled away from him just as quickly as she had started. Her hands quickly rubbed something down his length, but his head was far too lost to come back to reality right away. It wasn't until she had both arms around his neck that he noticed what was actually happening. Her chest was pressed carefully against his own, and he could tell that she wore nothing over her breasts under her red shirt. Her heart was pounding over his, and he didnt know who's was beating harder.

The girl moved him to her entrance, and it became so real that he felt his heart literally skip a beat.

He looked into her eyes with new found shock, and she gave him a weak smile before lowering herself rather quickly onto his manhood. He yelped at the sensation, but it didn't hurt him, he was just startled by it. Her insides were hot, and tight. As for texture he couldn't say much since the condom caused his senses to be confused on whether he was being stroked or massaged. At any rate, he would not deny that it felt incredible to be inside her, and at that thought he blushed violently while his inner sensations squirmed with a sweet heat. She, on the other hand, went to wince but seemed startled by something.

Sakura breathed carefully as her brows stitched together in confusion, and she moved her hips experimentally making him shudder at the sensation. He could feel every pelvic muscle she had move sinfully against him, and he gave a sharp breath as he felt himself grow painfully hard now that everything had officially started. She shivered too, and started to blush.

"You feel... nice..." She said shyly, making the butterflies inside him throw themselves against every wall he had. If this sort of excitement continued he wasn't going to last very long, and he definitely wanted to make a good first impression. Thankfully, that stress alone helped him to cool down, and focus more on her. He went to move, accidentally arching his hips, and made her whimper. She clutched harder around his neck, and let one hand fist the hair on the back of his head pleasantly. Her walls tightened slightly around him, and he had to breathe through his mouth in able to have enough oxygen to function. Every time he managed to calm down she would do the smallest thing to throw him right back into the front lines.

'You feel... nice...' Her words bounced around in his head playfully, and his heart thrummed a steady beat.

"You too." He finally answered, making her giggle.

Gaara inwardly slapped himself for his oh-so-original word choice, but he had to give himself a bit of credit over even speaking at all with such a beautiful girl riding on his lap. He looked down at where they were connected, and noticed the flare of her hips transitioned smoothly into her splayed thighs. She had filled out more since he had last saw, and touched her. With curiosity his hands gripped at the divinely feminine attribute, and she smiled sweetly before grinding her hips making him immediately melt again.

However, this sensation seemed to be far better than when her mouth had been suckling at him, because now she was being pleasured by this too.

The redhead noticed that if he moved a certain way she seemed to make more pleasant sounds, and he liked it when she made those pleasurable noises. His hands around her hips gave a teasingly firm squeeze while he arched into her, and she moved like a snaked under his grip as she rode him.

She seemed to be far more bashful than when they had initially started, probably due to her actually enjoying it for the first time, but despite her insecurities she seemed to be more intrigued by the fact of how it felt rather than the shame of the act itself. She carried enthusiasm under her blushing cheeks, and her need for satisfaction made her push through her initial embarrassment.

It was obvious that she was embarrassed, because every time she mewled now she would try to cover her face either with her hair or would duck down to hide herself against his chest. Yet, she wouldn't stop herself from rolling her body sinfully against him, and occasionally she would press her chest hard against his own to enjoy the sensation from there as well.

Gaara rocked against her to try to match her rhythm, and luckily it worked the majority of the time. As her face reddened further he began to realize that it wasn't due to her shyness anymore, but rather the lust was finally beginning to overtake her. Her eyes were glassy, and lidded, while her already full lips were occasionally self bitten making them pout even more. Looking at her current appearance, he couldn't even imagine how he looked at the moment.

Sakura started moaning rather loudly, and after each noisy expression she would giggle self conciously while hiding in the crook of his neck, but once again it didn't slow her down from getting what her body desired. He held onto her tightly with one arm around her waist, and the other snuck away to grab at her breasts under her shirt. She mewled close to his ear at the groping contact making him shiver with electricity, and he could tell that she was growing slick with her essence as he experimentally slid in and out of her heat.

The sensations, sounds, and visuals were making his skin tingle from head to toe, but the building pressure was steadily being taken out by him moving inside of her. He panted hard, and occasionally a whimper of his own would escape him only to send more shivers down his spine. Not to mention that she had a similar reaction when he'd moan for her, except with her shuddering came raised baby hairs, and gooseflesh.

Sakura tried picking up her pace, but could only do so much with the stamina she had. At her third try of trying to make her hips bounce against him she slowed back down to her original pace with an impatient whine. It became apparent that now was the time for him to take charge of the situation. He took over by grabbing firmly at her hips holding them still, and lifted a bit of distance away from his own. She panted with anticipation, and he finally started to thrust into her with fervor. Her moaning became sharp, and ragged almost immediately, but he could understand why. It was rough, but the tight slamming sensation rang through him like the banging of a gong growing louder the more you beat on it. It was intense, but incredible. His pace would get thrown off here and there, but for the most part he was able to keep them steady, and she was wailing ecstatically against his jawline pushing him even further with ecstacy while flattering his self esteem.

Gaara's brain was going to explode from literally everything, and his arms ached with how hard he was holding her. When he felt her tighten firmly around him with a continuous whine, he let himself go completely with everything he had until he climaxed with a white hot energy.

'Oh...my...fucking...god...' His eyes nearly rolled back as the pulsation of orgasm slammed against him while also gushing out of him. It was so much that the roof of his mouth tingled with the pleasant prickling sensation just as much as the rest of his body.

Crossing over that final hill had him stringing a list of curses, tensing and relaxing at the same time, and holding that gorgeous girl against his chest like she were his lifeline. It was so much in such a short amount of time he didn't know whether to cry, vomit, laugh, scream, or just pass out.

The redhead chose to just breathe, and hope that the palpitations from his heart didn't manage to kill him from over exertion. He wondered if she was feeling the same way.

Sakura brushed away the red hair sticking to his face, and oddly gave him a chaste kiss as he furrowed his naked brows in the after glow. He cracked open his eyes to see her just as sweaty, flushed, and winded. Strangely, he felt like kissing her too. So he gave her a chaste kiss, then a loving one, then a rather passionate one.

They did this for an unknown amount of time, but he loved kissing her, and obviously she felt the same. It was when her breath started quaking that they pulled away from each other. At first he thought that she was just giddy over the experience, but when he looked closely he could see tears falling from her eyes. He panicked.

"S-Sakura... I'm so sorry, did I hurt you?" Gaara trembled nervously; afraid to touch her, afraid to move. He must have messed it up, and the sounds that he heard had to have been ones of pain instead of-

"No! Y-you...d-didn't hurt...m-m-me..." Sakura shook violently as she cried, and he could see her teeth start to chatter. "It f-felt really g-good..."

As the words left her she started to wheeze painfully as she cried. He grabbed her shoulders carefully to try to steady the unstable teen. He maneuvered underneath her even more cautiously to detach from her, and she outwardly panicked as he pulled himself out. As she started to hyperventilate, he quickly removed the condom as best as he could by squeezing the latex down his flaccid length to collect any residue. Not really knowing what to do with it he set aside in the make-shift ashtray he had found earlier.

After adjusting himself modestly he gathered her overalls, and attempted to dress her, but she was having a rather horrible panic attack so he could only shimmy the fabric up her legs before having to address her anxiety up front.

"It's supposed to h-hurt...why d-didn't it hurt?" Sakura's arms attempted to hold herself soothingly, but it only made her look mental. With her caving forward like she was, he realized something.

Sakura had never felt sexual satisfaction before; rape was not a pleasuring experience for her but she knew that it felt good for men. She had propositioned him with the expectation of getting absolutely nothing out of it, and because she was willing her body didn't reject him. Her body invited him, and went through the correct motions for the first time. Sakura had been present throughout the whole thing, and never once mentally detached herself. He could imagine that she felt a great deal of shock, and perhaps shame over enjoying it.

Perhaps she was thinking that she was supposed to enjoy rape as well...

At that disturbing thought, Gaara went into action before thinking, and pulled her close to him in a protective embrace. At first she struggled frantically to get away from him, but as he held her steady she seemed to slowly come to terms with it, and then she eventually accepted it; invited it even. He shocked himself at his own decision to hold her as everything he had done in life was essentially for his benefit alone, but now it was different. Now he cared for something more than he cared for himself, and he was acknowledging that fact right that very second. Embracing her was a brash, and probably incorrect thing to do, but it seemed to be what she subconsciously needed. She needed to know that what they did was not assault, and it was not meant to be painful. He sighed, carefully planning his next words.

"Sakura, remember when I said it's different between me and you?" The redhead spoke just above a whisper, and she nodded silently against his chest; finally breathing normally again. "It's going to feel good between us, because it's mutual. It's affection, and we care how the other person is feeling. That's the difference. I care about you...and you..."

Gaara stopped himself from making assumptions. Even though she pushed sex on him, it didn't mean that she truly cared about him. She could be using him subconsciously to heal, and he was just benefiting from the affection.

"I love you too, Gaara."

The words hit him before he noticed her nuzzling him comfortably. Did she realize what she just said? Was he correct in initially thinking that she cared for him? His body trembled at the thought of someone actually loving him. He would have been jumping for joy just to have someone give a damn about him, but this...

This had the tables turning onto him now, and he was shaking at the realization that he could trust, rely, and feel unity with another human being. He wasn't alone anymore. There was a light now, and her name was Sakura.

Said girl was suddenly in his sights as she had straightened to observe him closely. She ran her fingers along the scar on his forehead before locking her shadowed jade eyes on his haunting gaze.

"I love you." Sakura said confidently, never breaking eye contact with him. He couldn't seem to breathe, and he imagined her digging into his chest to pull out his bloodied pulsing heart. The imaginary heart beat frighteningly in her palms, and he wanted to beg her not to drop or bite into it as her eyes hungered over the muscular organ. His lids hung heavily on his eyes as his face started to numb, and he was forced back into reality with the need for oxygen from holding his breath. As he started gasping for air his chest continued to constrict, and the sympathy was written all over her face.

"Gaara, it's okay. I love you. I promise, I love you." She chanted the words that made every muscle in his body tighten, and he wanted to scream at her to let her know he didn't believe her, but deep down he knew her words rang true. As she sealed the deal with a kiss, he felt himself spring back to life like an engine rearing after ignition. His arms snaked around her possesively, and his mouth greedily devoured her own.

Other men could fuck her body, and break her spirit, but he was the one who would rebuild her, and bring her vitality. He didn't have to force anything on her, and she responded so perfectly to him where others had miserably failed. She was his now, and there was literally nothing that would keep him away from her. She flowed through his veins like she had always belonged there; caressing his damaged heart as her energy passed through his arteries. She was in his flesh, his blood, his heart, and she rattled pleasantly throughout his cracked mind filling the gaps trauma had caused. As tears fell from his eyes he pulled away from her to breathe, and she stared worriedly at him. Her empathy was real, and it was like a bright beacon calling him home.

"I love you, too." Gaara croaked, and his body trembled under her fingertips with fear and excitement. "I love you so much... I love you-"

Sakura kissed him this time, and he cried against her lips making them both taste his tears. She had gotten back to straddling him again, but it didn't go much further than that. They just needed to be close to each other; as close as one could get without being inside the other person. The embrace was so tight it was nearly painful.

They were holding on for their lives.

 **AN: Not to toot my own horn, but this chapter has to be one of my best. I feel I busted this one out of the park! It was so fluid when I wrote it, and I never had to leave to come back to it later, and when I do that the flow gets kind of strange, but this one was effortless for me. ITS RAW THOUGH UWAAAAH THE FEELS AND THE REALS AND THE BANANA PEELS! Lmao! Yeah, this is my best work I think. This whole fic has me like "damn girl, you fine as fuck I'm gonna take you home with me." Don't understand what that means but that's literally what I think with every new chapter. Anyway, REVIEW! I love all of your reviews and I read every single last one! Tell me if theres something *wink wink* special you might want thrown in for future chapters, I'm very flexible. (Not physically though, I actually can't touch my toes. I fail as a ninja!)**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Welcome back! I missed you guys! Hope you all enjoy what I got today :3**

Heels clacking against tile woke him up this time, and he could tell it was still dark outside even with his eyes shut. His blankets stirred as someone sat next to him on the bed, and the smell of her cherry blossom perfume was enough for him to know it was Sakura. He felt her hand raise up to move his hair away from his kanji, and he almost shivered as she traced the scar with her silky fingertips. He unfortunately sighed, causing her to stiffen, but he played it off as if he were sleeping. She fell for the act, and ran her smooth digits down his cheek making his skin tingle. When her thumb made it's way to his mouth to run over his bottom lip, he couldn't help but smile at the action forcing her to pull her hand back in guilt, most likely.

"Curious as ever, Dr. Haruno. I thought I told you I wanted to be alone, but here you are again with your craving for me." Gaara chuckled to himself, but remained completely relaxed.

"I-I'm not. I was just checking to see if you were breathing..." Sakura stammered with nervous frustration, and he knew that the reaction alone spoke volumes. His eyes remained closed as he could imagine her well enough.

"I had a dream, or perhaps it was a memory. Only you can say since you were the main attraction." The redhead felt her stiffen, and he wondered how long she was waiting for him to figure out their relationship. "We were at the playground, only this time it was a hot summer night. You showed up looking defeated, but you became so eager when you approached me. I wasn't expecting you to force yourself on me, but you came armed with a condom in your pocket just in case I was there... you called it destiny...does that ring any bells?"

When he was met with nervous shuffling, he decided that she was probably giving him the silent treatment. Whether or not it was for him rejecting her earlier, or whether she wanted him to remember or forget he couldn't say. So he sighed, and continued.

"You wouldn't take no for an answer, so you got me all worked up so I wouldn't push you away. That's very sneaky, Sakura."

Still nothing. He almost groaned at the silence.

"You initiated it, and I wasn't ready...but your body felt so good I couldn't stop you, I didn't want to stop you. You were so confused because you didn't think it would feel good for you, but after figuring out that it didn't hurt like you thought it would you acted like a vixen in heat-"

"Gaara..." Her voice shook, and he cracked another smile before placing his arm over his already closed eyes.

"Don't get upset about it, you enjoyed it, and you were beautiful. You told me you loved me, and I returned it. Why it's so hard for you to accept now is beyond me, but now that night is with me, and I will never forget how it felt to make love to you..."

"I think you need another batch of that herbal medicine..." Sakura said it very cautiously, and the confusing sentence made the gears in his head turn.

"Sakura?" He tested.

"Yes, Lord Kazekage?" She answered.

'...Fuck.' He inwardly cursed.

It had become apparent now that he had just described a very graphic, romantic, and raunchy situation to the medical nin, from another village mind you, that had been so generous as to heal him. He groaned, removed his arms, and opened his eyes with a deep cringe before looking up at her. She obviously wasn't psyched enough to get up from her spot on his bedside, but her strange expression told him just what she thought of the Kazekage at that moment in time.

"Sakura, I am so very sorry..." Gaara tried to apologize, but she shook her head at him.

"Don't apologize for the after effects of poison. I understand the problems that come with it during the healing process-"

"Oh I'm sure all of your poisoned male patients have told you their strange sexual fantasies, with you as the star of the show no doubt!" The redhead bit his lip in frustration while looking out the window next to him to avoid scrutiny. However, he turned back to her curiously when he heard her giggle.

"Oh, be glad you were off being 'dead' somewhere when Kankuro got poisoned. If you think you're a pervert, you should listen to his strange rambles. At least your language is polite for the most part." She smiled sweetly before resting her wrist against his sweaty forehead to check his temperature. "Don't tell him I said anything though, he doesn't remember what he said to me, and I want to keep it that way."

"What exactly did he say?" Gaara was suddenly intrigued, as his brother tended to tease him quite a bit; he wanted something to think about when trying to keep himself professional. So he could laugh about it to himself when no one was around.

"Oh, I can't believe I'm saying this; he told me that he wanted me to fight with him, as well as other men, before having sex with them. It was very strange, I think you were actually on that list." Sakura blushed slightly at her recollection, and the redhead raised his naked brows curiously at her before she nervously continued. "The way he explained it was like his brain was telling him who he wanted to see me actually 'fight' against, but it got jumbled with the sex on the way out. The so called 'battles' started out well and good, but then they spiraled out of control into these vivid sex scenes that he would just blurt out. It was horrifying! I was only fourteen!"

At that he started laughing, and she giggled along with him as they found a mutual comfort in each other now. However, he didn't want to let her off the hook just yet.

"You said I was on the list? How curious..." Gaara tapped a finger pensively to his lips, and she smacked his shoulder lightly for his teasing.

"Yeah, well yours was the worst one. Apparantly we were having a wonderful sparring match of my fist against your sand, and apparently 'sand coffin' turned into 'sand restraints' as well as 'sand flogger'... and 'sand tentical'...it was very graphic and something I can't ever see you actually doing so I have since put it out of my memory until this exact moment." Sakura blushed before trying to occupy herself with detaching his fluid bag, and he couldn't keep himself contained any longer.

The redhead busted into a hearty laughter that he didn't think would ever come out of him, and she seemed just as shocked by the sound if not more.

"Sand tentical!? Oh that is good, I'll have to save that for later!" Gaara laughed giddily at the idea of picking his brother up with his sand, and shouting out 'sand tentical' while watching him turn as white as a ghost. Knowing how secretly perverted Kankuro was, the puppeteer would be an idiot to not get the reference. Oh it was going to be hysterical for sure.

"Gaara! You can't just make sand tentacles, and attack girls with them, it's innapropriate!" The kunoichi scolded him thoroughly, and he raised his brows at her again intrigued.

"Hmm, shows where your head is at. I was going to simply tease my brother with it, since he is such a closet pervert, but you also seem to have a dirty mind. I might just save it for you instead." For the first time in his life the redhead winked, and he got the reaction he was looking for as the kunoichi became thoroughly flustered.

"Eh?! Thats a rather cruel joke!" She bit at him, and he felt a dark smirk forming on his face.

"It would be a joke when used on Kankuro, but with you... I'm thinking humor would be the last thing on my mind." Gaara narrowed his eyes knowingly, and she balked at his blatant and surprising perversion towards her.

"Lord Kazekage, you had better start thinking your words through before-"

"I wonder if you'll actually say my name when I get you into bed, or if you'll just continue to call me 'Lord Kazekage'..." The redhead grinned as she visibly turned a bright shade of red. Whether it was out of embarrassment or anger, he couldn't really tell.

"Gaara, knock it off. It's innapropriate." As she went to stand he swiftly grabbed her wrist to pull her back onto the cot with him. Only this time he had enough strength to pin her to the mattress. She grunted defensively, and went to punch him, but stopped herself before knocking him in the jaw. He watched many expressions flitter past her features before she closed her eyes in frustration, and breathed cautiously through her nose. "Lord Kazekage, you are not well."

"Oh I feel pretty great right now, and if you stay long enough I'm sure I can help you to feel just as good... If not better." Gaara leaned forward onto his prey, and watching her eyes dilate sent a thrill through him even though she was also tensing nervously underneath him.

"Gaara, stop it. It's not funny!" Sakura squirmed, and without warning he closed the connection between them. For some odd reason it felt like he was kissing her for the first time, and when she opened her mouth to gasp he tested the theory further by letting his tongue slip in to taste her. Her body jerked in protest, but he ignored it in favor of running one of his hands through her hair. Her now free hand attempted to push him, and he could tell she was keeping her full strength away to stop herself from accidentally killing him. It worked out fine for Gaara, and he continued kissing her like she belonged to him.

The kunoichi seemed angry, even when he broke the kiss to trail down her neck she still seemed furious. She shouted more than a few obscenities to him, but he ignored the words and struggles as he dragged his teeth down her jugular.

Sakura whimpered.

The redhead exhaled sharply on her moistened skin when the sound reached his ears. His fever spiked even further as she slammed her free hand over her own mouth shamefully. He did it again, and she responded the same way once more by trying to silence herself.

His skin buzzed with electricity, and excitement over her current predicament. He traveled up to her earlobe to suckle at it while breathing hotly against the shell of her ear. Her whole body shuddered violently beneath him with a muffled whine, and he pushed her just a bit further by pressing his thigh against her pelvis. Her shorts were thin, and form fitting enough that he could feel the outline of her genitalia through the fabric leaving nothing to the imagination, and as he ground his leg against her she unwittingly moved into him instead of away causing another muffled whine to escape her.

Sakura never had a chance. Due to his encounters with her other self, Gaara knew just what got her off. What made her excited, and dripping for more. He used that knowledge to his advantage, and only felt slightly guilty about it.

But not enough to stop.

After a few minutes of pressing his thigh against her, the redhead repositioned himself so the he could be fully inbetween her legs. Her head lolled on the mattress in a hazy state, and he took away the hand that covered her mouth to pin it back to her side.

The restraint gave a her a bit of clarity, and she went to struggle again, but he didn't let her get too far into it before grinding his hips against her own. She gave a sharp, but pleasant moan at the sensation, and he descended his lips onto hers once more. This time she not only allowed him to do this, but eagerly kissed him back with need.

Sakura, from this world, was kissing him. She was sucking on his lower lip, and greedily lapping at his tongue as if she had never felt like this before. She gave a needy whine, and rolled her hips against his own, finally wrapping her legs around him to keep him close to her. When an accidental moan escaped him she bit down hard on the lower lip, and growled like an animal.

It was clear she was comfortable in her own skin, but also deprived of a sex life as shown by her newfound enthusiasm. Not that he didn't appreciate her uncontrollable lust, no, that made things easier for him, but he didn't know if he could give her the proper treatment in his current state. He was still healing after all. She might have to wait...

Gaara let go of her hands to see what she would do, and surprisingly she used a great amount of force to flip them both over to get on top of him. Looking at her now, he saw a starving she-wolf ready to bite into her prey. Or possibly fuck the living daylights out of her prey, but the expression was the same. She rolled her hips hard against his own, making him wince in both pleasure, and pain.

Okay, so this was going to be a bit different then usual. He knew she liked to take the reigns, that was a given, but this was purely primal. As if she had bottled every perverted thought, and feeling, then finally released it on this man who decided to turn the keys to unwittingly get into her secret red room of pain not knowing how dark she really was.

Sakura leaned forward, bit down on his neck, and dragged her teeth deeply against his skin while grinding against him hard in unison. He hissed at the pain, and there was no soothing for it after it's infliction.

Yet, he still found a strange enjoyment in it after the pain would desist. The tingling left over from the raw nerves had him practically squirming with euphoria. Like being taken out of a dangerously hot bath, and thrown into a bitter cold spring. That strange sensation was the only way he could describe it. A weird relieving sensation that makes you want to get hurt again just to feel it dissapear. So when she did it again, he pressed further against her to make the pain even more intense. It was so hard that he gave a loud gritting moan between his clenched teeth.

The kunoichi bristled at the noise, but continued to grind against him. Her face came up from his neck, and lidded eyes focused on his. He could see that her pupils were so incredibly dilated that there was no way she could be sane at the moment. Her panting breath flayed against his skin, and she went in for another hard grind.

"Fuck!" Gaara cursed loudly as he groaned through his teeth. He was so sore, but it felt too good to stop. From the tension in his muscles he felt an increasing dizziness form. He started panting both from the need for proper breathing, the pain, the pleasure, and the repetition of holding his breath every time she would move her hips like she had. For technically his first sexual experience, at least in this unniverse, he thought he might deserve a gold medal for staying strong even though his body was already at half strength to start with.

"Come on, naughty boy, show me what you got." Sakura purred, and his mind came back just in time for another painful roll of her hips. He was breaking out in a sweat as his voice cracked under the strain. He was going to faint if she continued this way, his stamina had officially run out. "Either you cum, or you pass out. Lets make a bet."

"Sakura...please..." The redhead begged, and she began laughing darkly at him before scratching her nails down his chest. It irritated his skin alright, but he couldn't help his eyelids fluttering at the echoing sting that made him arch into her. He inhaled through his teeth at the sensation, but the tingling it left behind had him releasing the breath with a heavy pant.

It was exhausting, but invigorating. The two polar opposites were fighting for dominance inside him making his head spin.

"Oh, I'm sorry! Is this bothering you? Is this uncomfortable for you? Am I invading your personal space? Crossing your personal boundaries?" The kunoichi glared daggers at him, and he couldn't help but give a strained laugh at his predicament.

She was still angry at him, and he had to admit he deserved every last punishment for his not-so-kage-behavior.

"I'm sorry I was forceful with you-"

"Forceful is a weak word for it." She swung her verbal axe, and really put a good effort into her next grind making his body tense so painfully he thought he might have burst a blood vessel. He gave a true strangled cry this time, and she placed her hand over his mouth to keep him quiet. "My bet is that you'll pass out before cumming, which would be a real shame as it could really damage your testicles from all this stimulation. You'd be sore for more than a few days, and with the pressure I've been using it's already a fair assumption that you're going to be sore tomorrow regardless."

A trickle of sweat went down his temple to melt against her fingers. When she felt the moisture, she looked at his body carefully. Then surprisingly a sympathetic look graced her features.

"I'm putting you in a lot of pain... aren't I?" Sakura spoke gently, and he wanted to agree with her, but he also wanted her to stay. He chose to stay still, and blinked at her instead. "You know, you look kind of cute when you're exhausted. Which is kind of sick of me to say since you've gotten less sleep in your life than the average person."

When his eyes sparkled with mirth her curiosity took over, and pushed her to remove her hand from his mouth.

"You do understand that you just admitted that I am cute all of the time, right?" Gaara gave a breathy laugh, and her face soured at the realization that he was correct. So she moved her hips again, making him wince, but luckily it wasn't as hard as what she had been doing before.

"I'm surprised you didn't go soft." Her nails scratched lightly at his chest, as if it would distract her from the fact that she was still on top of him. He gave a slight shake of his head at the statement.

"It takes a lot for me to lose an erection..." The redhead then blushed at his own blurted confession, and she seemed to find some sort of humor in it.

"I'm sure your many lovers are pleased about that." Sakura snickered while looking down at him, and he simply squirmed under her penetrating gaze.

"I don't have any lovers." He admitted, and she furrowed her brows in confusion.

"Okay, well maybe that's why you're acting like this. You just haven't gotten any in a while-"

"I haven't gotten any ever." Gaara felt like this conversation needed to just end. Even more so when she balked at him.

The fact of the matter was that he may have gone all the way in a different universe, which was a wonderful memory or dream, no doubt about that, but it was just that; a memory. From a universe that didn't exist... at least he didn't think it existed.

At any rate, he had never gotten anywhere with a woman in this world; his home universe, and that deemed him a virgin in his eyes.

"Bullshit." Sakura gaped before leaning forward to closely examine his eyes. He felt a blush flow hot to his cheeks at her thorough scrutiny. He had been so confident earlier, but the testosterone had finally died out.

"Why would I lie? It's not like I'm proud to be a virg-"

"Oh my God...what have I done? What have I done!?" The kunoichi straightened like a ramrod, and put both of her hands to her face in shock. He watched curiously as she ran her hands over her eyes, through her hair, bit at her knuckles, and then repeated the process three more times before he finally grabbed her wrists to stop her.

"I started it, and I did know what I was doing so you don't have to feel guilty about any 'poison' effects. I just honestly find you extremely attractive." Even though his voice was stern, the extra harshness from the strain wasn't helping his case much. She gave him a worried look all over before grimacing.

"I am so sorry, oh my god, I am so so so sorry. I just assaulted a virgin. A virgin Kazekage. My best friend's virgin other best friend who is also a fucking village leader. Oh my God, the relations between our villages!" Both her hands went to fist her hair again, and at that moment he knew that talking to her wasn't going to make things work out in his favor.

He was going to have to get her mad at him again.

While she remained frantically distracted, he took her face into his hands, and kissed her passionately. She squeaked at the contact while attempting to pull away from him, but he grabbed the collar of her shirt to pull her in once more which made some of the strings holding the clothing shut to unravel. He hadn't initially meant to do that, and in his newfound shyness avoided the area altogether by wrapping his arms around her waist. She turned her head to the side to break the kiss, and thoroughly scold him, but he took that moment to seize her neck with his mouth. She whimpered while giving a light buck against him, and he groaned at the sore, but still pleasant feeling.

"You...bastard..." Sakura cursed at him quite crassly, and he answered her by running his hand up her thigh. He scraped his teeth on her pulsing skin, and she sighed while rolling her hips against him once more. Feeling his shame melt away again with her sighs, his other hand found her breast easily, and she gasped at the sensation even with the fabric of her bra separating his palm from her skin.

Gaara groaned pleasantly as her lithe fingers finally slithered up his back and neck until tangling in his red hair with acceptance. His lips still hungrily kissing her neck traveled to her collar, and when she jolted against him once more at the sharp sensation of his teeth the hand on her thigh moved to her backside to grope firmly. She gave a sharp whine, and he felt himself pant with want against the heat of her moistened skin.

The medic was beginning to melt under his ministrations, and it wouldn't be long until she was begging for him to just fu-

"What the... Sakura? Gaara?! What the hell are you two doing?!"

Tick...

Tick...

Tick...

BOOM.

The rage that went through him at that moment was enough to make the gourd of sand next to his cot fly out of the container violently. He was sick, and tired of being interrupted, and he was willing to rip the throat out of the next person to do so.

Unfortunately, it was Kankuro, so he couldn't just murder him like he very much wanted to.

"I hate you so much right now, you stupid cock-block." Gaara literally growled his words, and the other two people in the room stiffened considerably. Sakura, however, gave a small snort that gave away her mirth over his choice of words.

"Ah... oh... um..." Kankuro blanched, and it was pretty obvious that he was a combination of embarassed, shocked, and scared shitless.

"Is this why you're still a virgin?" Sakura whispered loudly enough for both the brothers to hear, and the redhead made a face that had her laughing again. While he was happy to have her find him amusing, he was also getting slowly more irritated the longer he was kept from his goal.

"State your business or get the hell out of the room, Kankuro." Gaara tried to remain calm, and when the woman in his arms attempted to move away he held her firmly in place. "Stay." He ordered, and he got a curiously raised brow from her in response. It seemed she was both insulted, and yet impressed by authorative nature.

"Uh... I heard noises in here. I came to check it out to see if you were in danger, but then I noticed that you guys were-"

"I'm sorry, Kankuro, but do I come into your space to interrupt you when you are entertaining a woman?" Even though he had said it politely, his tone was verging on furious. Sakura looked between the two, but knowing she was stuck in the situation she chose to keep calm and wait it out.

"Um...no, you haven't interrupted me..." Kankuro started, but his brother was not going to let him finish.

"So you saw this perfect creature on my lap, in my bed, with my hands all over her, and you thought it was the perfect time to interject? To ask what we are doing, even though it is absolutely FUCKING OBVIOUS?!" Gaara finally cracked, and he watched his older brother nearly jump out of his skin at the sound of his raised voice. He felt Sakura jolt at the sound too, but he made circles with his thumb over the grip he had on her back, which had originally been on her bottom, but he had moved it for her modesty. The action seemed to relax her greatly, and she exhaled with relief.

"Well, I've never seen you with anyone so it was kind of weird watching you-"

"Kankuro, get out. I am literally going to lose it after years of keeping my composure. I am on the edge of killing someone, and I do not want it to be you. So just leave. Please." The redhead breathed carefully waiting for his older brother to digest what he said, but after a minute he felt his temper start to flare again. "Kankuro! Get the fuck out!"

"Oh, right! Sorry! My bad!" The puppeteer fled the situation quickly, and was probably going to be making certain that nobody else made the same mistake as him.

Gaara sighed bitterly before resting his head on his dance partner's shoulder, and she didn't tense underneath him at all. Rather, she stroked his slightly damp hair in an attempt to soothe him, and of course it worked like a charm.

"That sounded like more than just years of 'keeping your composure'. How has your mental health been?" She brushed some of his hair away from his scar, and he felt his scalp tingle under her fingertips delightfully.

"Mental health is not great. I had an arranged marriage go south, you probably heard about that..."

"Yeah, something about your bride and her lover trying to kill you, so you had to kill them instead?" Sakura was right about them trying to kill him, but nobody knew the truth that he had actually let his bride-to-be and her lover go. He had been clever in saying that his sand had left no remains behind when in reality he had Shikamaru take them in to live in Konoha secretly. No one knew but him, Temari, and Shikamaru.

So while everyone thought he had killed his fiancee he had actually been a saint, and let her live the life she truly wanted in the first place.

"Yes. That was... painful. Even for me." Gaara wasn't lieing about it being painful, he had come to really like his fiancee. So the betrayal sucked, and hit an already sore spot he had left over from his childhood. Honestly, he was tired of being used, but he wanted love so what was he to really do about it?

"I see, and that probably opened some old wounds; maybe affected your self esteem..." She ran her fingers through his hair, and he nearly purred at the sensation. "I can understand why you would be craving physical affection so badly... it's not right for a human being to be denied something like that."

"Yeah...hmmm...physical...reaction..." He nuzzled against her, and she scoffed.

"I didn't say 'reaction' I said 'affection'."

"More petting please, it feels really good." His hands wandered her frame, and she tensed under his touch with a blush.

"Gaara, that's not-"

"I don't care what it is or what it isn't, just... let's lay down okay?" The redhead tried pressing the kunoichi back onto the mattress, but she kept her ground.

"You are being ridiculous, I'm not just going to let you have sex with me. That's not how this works, we aren't animals." Sakura scolded him, but he remained undeterred.

"You are mistaken." After gaining her interest she allowed his hands to wander her frame once more, and to his delight she shivered under his fingertips. "We most certainly are animals. We just have better thought processes, languages, and a sense of self. Other than that we eat, sleep, kill, and breed just like every other animal on this planet."

"How romantic..." Sakura bit sarcastically, and he actually chuckled at her.

"I had a beast inside me for a very long time, and his thinking along with his instinctual habits aren't something that I can just shake off." Gaara grabbed her firmly by the hips, and she tensed cautiously.

'This... isn't like me...'

"That 'animal' explained what sex was to me before I could even count, and would try to get me to do things that were shameful for a young boy to even think about. Years of restraint; even after losing Shukaku I have still kept a hard grip over my desires because I believed them to be wrong. I still think they're wrong. I think its wrong of me to want to force you down on this bed. It's wrong of me to want to have sex with you. It's wrong, but its building up inside me... clawing at me..." He growled after his little speech, and his canines showed when he flashed his teeth. He could tell she was intimidated by him, but she kept herself calm in the face of danger. However, her cool demeanor was betrayed by the look in her eyes.

"I think it's time you found a nice girl, and just settled down-"

'She's scared.'

"You're a very nice girl, but I'm not going to calm down just yet..." He interjected with a wolfish grin, and she stiffened yet again.

'Something is burning.'

"Gaara, you're not going to force me to have sex with you." She tried pushing away from him, and suddenly he found his strength returning letting him pull her right back in.

'It's so hot, it's starting to hurt.'

"But you were so willing to play earlier, what happened? Always the sadist, Sakura. When the tables turn you just can't handle it, can you?-" Gaara licked from her collar up to her ear, and she tried squirming away from him with a whimper, but he gripped her tighter.

'What am I doing?'

"-I've got an idea, you can have me however you please. I'll play that game with you, and be your perfectly submissive dog. You'd be surprised over how many tricks I know... some of them are rather complex."

'Why is this happening?'

"Gaara, stop it." Sakura barked at him, and her energy made his skin grow hot over the idea of her challenging him.

'No, don't do it.'

He leaned back instead of forward, which surprised her enough to fall with him when he pulled on her. He maneuvered her into straddling him, and when she straightened herself to get her bearings he arched his hips to grind himself against her.

'Stop.'

She gave a sharp breath, and her hands unconsciously grasped at his chest. She blushed at him, but it quickly melted back into anger and fear.

'Stop! Look at what's happening!'

"Ooo, look at that fire in your eyes. You want to hit me so badly, don't you?" Gaara had a strange darkness wash over him, and he felt his true self screaming at him to stop, but for some reason he couldn't. It was like he was watching the scene unfold behind the irises of his own eyes, trapped with no way out inside his pupils.

"Hit me...please hit me...stop this..." He finally managed to whisper.

This was too much, something was wrong, he was going to lose himself any second now. His hold on the rope was slipping through his hands burning his flesh-

"Gaara? Hey now... hey... it's okay..." He could see her clearly through his own eyes, and feel his body fill with heat, but she seemed so far away. He was tipping over into an abyss inside his head.

What was this strange insanity, this mental state of being lost in ones own head? He had Shukaku with him once, yes, but losing himself to the beast was far different than what was happening at the current moment in time. Right now it felt as if his emotions were foreign, and had full reign over what he said, and how he acted. It wasn't some strange fantasy or dark desire at play here... this was like someone else entirely was inside him yet was one and the same. It wasnt right, and it frightened him. The pieces of his own personazl puzzle were not matching up.

"I'm... going to fall..." His hands came to his head, but they didn't feel like they belonged to him. He felt himself pressing the sides of his skull so hard he thought he might break the bone.

"Don't do that. You're okay. Gaara, you are having a mental breakdown." Sakura removed his hands from his head to replace them with her own, and her words bounced around in his brain.

'A breakdown?'

"Listen to me, you are feeling out emotions you have long since burried, and that opens the flood gates. It's foreign, and you are panicking." Her eyes were so beautiful, and the sky was turning red in the windows all around them. Even though he felt a great deal of fear he was starting to feel better with her there.

"I'm so sorry..." The redhead said between hyperventilating breaths, and she nodded to him.

"You are forgiven. I won't hold it against you, just breathe for me." Sakura cooed gently, and he felt like he could control his eyes again. Sifting through pieces of his body he managed to get his lungs back, and took a deep concentrated breath before letting it out slowly. "Good job, Gaara. Let's do that again."

Gaara continued to breathe like she had asked him to, listening to the sound of her voice as he came back into complete control of his whole body. When he reached up to cover both of his eyes with his hands, they both knew it was all over.

"How are we feeling? Do you need to take more breaths?" He felt two fingers against his jugular, and supposed that he hadn't been hooked up to the electrocardiogram for quite some time so checking his pulse was a given.

"I'm fine. Thank you." He removed his hand to look at her, and as he thought she was all business.

"That probably scared you, huh? It's not the first time I've seen it. A lot of veteran's have this problem, so it's not unusual that a kage like yourself would have them too. I've recently finished up my psychiatric training, I'd like to stay in Suna for a while to monitor your progress-"

"If that means we get to fool around every day, then I have no objections." Gaara tried to relax the still tense atmosphere, but incurred her inner wrath instead.

"There is just no way you became a pervert over night, my god-!"

"It was a joke, Sakura. I'm trying to lighten the mood." The redhead forced his aqua eyes to look away from her. "I know you don't think of me the way I would want you to. You obviously have someone else in mind, and I accept that. I apologize for my crass behavior."

He groaned once more putting his hands over his eyes shamefully, but when he felt her move slightly on his lap he felt his whole body tense.

"Don't presume to know how I feel, Lord Kazekage. Honestly, you are very attractive. You are physically fit, handsome, kind, generous, and a wonderful leader. Add in your bad-boy reputation, and you're just my type." Her fingers tapped away at his sternum, and he felt that she was not done speaking.

"But?" He pressed.

"Buuuuut, you are a village leader, and having sexual relations with 'the girl next door' could have some pretty bad repercussions." When her fingers splayed across his chest he finally lowered his hands to look at her properly. She didnt seem bitter over anything that happened, in fact she seemed... smug. "However, that doesn't mean that I'm not flattered. I respect you a great deal so my ego has been thoroughly stroked today."

"I'm glad I could make you feel so satisfied with yourself." He narrowed his eyes at her, and she snickered at him still enjoying the attention. "So, its not the Uchiha holding you back then?"

"No, he's off doing his own thing, and I'm doing my own thing. I don't really know if he'll come back to our village. I've already waited for him up until this point, and I've missed out on a great deal of wonderful things trying to save them for him. I have given up, and just decided to live for myself for a while. If he comes back, and I'm single, that's cool we can make it work. However, if I want to fool around with someone I'm not going to stop myself either. Living completely for someone else is quite toxic, and damaging." She sighed, and looked bittersweetly out the window, but his curiosity had been piqued.

"Have you done that then?" Gaara asked nonchalantly, and her attention was immediately brought back to him.

"Have I what?" Her brows furrowed.

"Moved on, with someone else?" The redhead looked casually at his fingernails, but when he was swatted playfully on his chest he couldn't help the chuckle that slipped out.

"You know your bedside manner is horrific." As she made a move to get off of his lap after such a long period of time he groaned almost painfully at the blood returning to his abused groin. She stood next to his bed with a mischievous expression. "You might want to take care of that."

"I thought you were supposed to take care of me." He grimaced as he sat up, and shook out his hair to try to get everything up and running again. He heard her scoff, and couldn't contain his smirk.

"Your manipulation tactics won't work on me. Try again." Sakura crossed her arms sternly, and he felt his dark self return for a bit of fun.

"Ah, I see now. You'd prefer to watch me do it instead? I would have never considered you to enjoy voyeurism, but I understand the appeal-"

"Oh give it a rest, Gaara!" She literally stomped her foot, and he had to clamp a hand over his mouth to keep himself from busting out into full laughter. "When I come back later you better have firm grip on your head!"

"I always do." Gaara bit back with a quick wit, and it took her a moment for the gears to turn before she understood where the conversation went. At her shocked face, he began to snicker. "I'll be sure to have a nice firm handle on it when you get back."

"Oh you sneaky... that was clever, but it's not winning you any points, so slow your roll." Before he could retort with something witty she exited the room, and slammed his door to boot. However, she did crack a smile as she was turning which brightened his mood slightly.

He was definitely winning points with her, and she was just sour over losing this new game they had started.

Gaara was glad to be home.

 **AN: WELP... I like this fix, but sometimes it gets a little fucking WEIRD. This was only a teensy bit weird, I am planning for some full scale strange stuff, but I'm still figuring that all out. I also have more flashbacks planned! However juggling two worlds and one Gaara is kind of tough, but I love it. Currently drawing some inspiration from some psychotic shows I'm watching right now, which is just fueling the crazy flames at this point lol BUT I HOPE YOU ALL ARE ENJOYING IT SO FAR! I know the smut is a lot, and in every. single. fucking. chapter. but I hope you guys still enjoy what I got despite that. Let me know if you have any predictions, hopes, dreams, kinks *wink wink* I got chu boo boo much love!**


	11. Chapter 11

The dry heat, the crackled ground, the cacti, the sage brush, and other elements of the desert made him smile. He had missed it, and it had felt like a lifetime since he had seen it.

The dry heat blew through his hair, and on the wind he could smell the scent of salt, white sage, minerals, and a general dust. It was something one couldn't forget; how your home smells. How the scent alone can make your heart swell, and your lungs stretch with the greedy intake.

It was a perfect day to stretch one's legs, and train the body back into normality. However, the redhead was certainly having problems controlling his chakra, and felt terribly worn out after moving an average distance, not to mention attempting to wield the sand pushed that envelope even further.

Gaara fell into a slump on the ground, and outwardly cursed for pushing himself too hard. Now he had made himself dizzy, and would have to wait it out until everything was balanced again. It wasn't as hot as it usually was, but for some reason he was panting, and sweating. That poison had taken a far greater toll than the ones he had encountered in the past.

"Ah, Lord Kazekage, I see you're out and about. Too soon I think, but nothing stops you it seems." Sakura came up behind him, and he jumped at the sound of her voice; surprised that he didn't sense her coming. "I see you're taking a break though, so I thought I would-what happened?! Are you okay?!"

He looked at her in confusion, but as her eyes scanned him up, and down, he decided to check himself out as well to find out what was so shocking. As he looked down though, he felt himself pale at the fact that he was sweating worse than he thought; right through his coat in fact...

"Oh..." He blanked on anything he could really say at that moment, and she gave him an incredulous look.

"Oh? Just 'Oh'? For heaven's sake, we need to get you inside!" Sakura wasted no time in slinging his arm over her shoulders, and lifting him with ease. It was impressive how strong she was, and the fact that she could funnel chakra to overcome literally anything was just as admirable. It was so different from the Sakura he knew from the asylum. Yet the problem remained that he still wanted to stay outside, or at least out of the hospital.

"Don't take me back there, please..." The redhead begged, and she opened her mouth to protest, but closed it after looking in his eyes. He must have seemed pretty desperate to change her mind like that, but he knew that Sakura had a kind heart regardless.

"Fine, I will take you to your own living quarters, but you will do exactly as I tell you. Do you understand?" She ordered, and a small part of him kind of enjoyed her authority over him at the moment.

"Yes ma'am." He went to nod, but made himself dizzy in the process. His head slumped forward with a groan, and she almost matched the tone except hers was more in irritation.

As they trekked back to his home, several guards had stopped them for information on the situation at hand. She explained what happened, and he approved of the things that she said with one word answers. After a few minutes of divulging information the two were left alone to their own devices, and so they carried on until they reached his home.

Climbing up the stairs was a little difficult, even for her chakra control, and he was slowly starting to feel ill. She stopped abruptly in a hallway to press his body against a wall making him confused.

'She's not really going to-'

Holding him up with her own frame she pressed her forehead against his soaked one, and stared right into his hazed aqua eyes.

'Ah, well that makes more sense.'

"You are burning up really bad, I really should have brought you back to the hospital-"

"Its okay..." He panted hard, and his breath flayed against her skin hotly. She didn't seem bothered by it though. "I'm...okay..."

He didn't know if he was saying it for himself or for her, but he felt like he was dying from heat all of a sudden. Sakura pulled back to look around her before noticing an open door containing tile flooring down the hall.

"Ah! Perfect! Okay, here we go." She hoisted him against her side once more, and they moved carefully down the hall until they reached her goal, which happened to be the bathroom.

"I don't have to go-"

"No, Gaara. Not for that, just start undressing okay?" She sat him down on the toilet, and he did as she asked without arguing. The air felt good against his skin as he removed the jacket and shirt underneath, but he fumbled too much with his belt buckle forcing him to give up at that point. The kunoichi had shut the door behind them to give them privacy, and she kneeled down to finish what he had started.

"Taking...advantage...doctor?" Gaara puffed out an exhausted laugh, and she narrowed her eyes at him as she pulled down his pants.

"You had better be quiet. I could leave you here to die you know..." Sakura smirked before throwing the garment off to the side. He placed his thumbs under the band of his boxer briefs, but she quickly snatched his wrists to stop him. "Hey now! That is not necessary, you can keep those on!"

"Well...excuse me..." If he could have rolled his eyes he would have, but he could hardly form a sentence let alone make a rude gesture. He heard the bath filling up, and he wondered how a bath was going to help him at all.

"Okay, the temperature shouldn't be too drastic so it's not going to force you into shock-"

"Huh?"

"-But it will help get your internal temperature back to normal so in you go~" She helped him sit on the edge of the tub before lowering him into the water carefully.

It took him a few seconds for his body to register that it had suddenly gone from dying of heat to a penetrating cold, and with the heat gone he woke up almost immediately with the blood, and adrenaline going back straight to his organs.

"Its freezing!"

"Oh don't be such a baby! It's in the high fifties, you'll be fine." She poured a cup of the water over his head, and he gave a strangled cry at the shock of it. He wasn't shivering, but it wasn't pleasant either. Her hand came back to his head, and she clicked her tongue in disappointment. "You'll have to stay in here for a little while, maybe fifteen minutes. If it doesn't lower by then I'm going to get some ice to put in the water-"

"You can't be serious!?" The redhead felt his mind start to clear, and he managed to stare at her in disbelief. When she nodded her head he felt his stomach drop.

"You said no hospital, so this is what's going to happen. It's archaic, but it works. You don't like it? We can go back to the hospital-"

"Ice is fine... thank you." He tucked his knees into his chest, and stared bitterly at the cold bathwater he was sitting in. She poured another glass over his head, and neck making him cringe. However, after a few minutes it started to feel better. It became refreshing rather than a stinging cold. The next cup over his head had him exhaling in relaxation, and he finally felt calm in the scheme of things.

"You like it now?" Sakura repeated the process again, and he let it run over his face by tilting his head back. He nodded, and found that his initial dizziness had disappeared. "That's good, you seem to be more conscious too. All good signs."

"You're kinder than the other one..." Gaara mumbled mostly to himself.

"I'm kinder than who?" The kunoichi pressed, and it clicked that he had made a mistake in letting that little fact slip.

If anyone knew that he had been jumping realities, they would either lock him up or take away his title. Probably both.

"Sorry, my words got messed up. I meant you are kinder now than you were before." He congratulated himself on the innocent lie he had come up with, but he wasn't going to let that fact show.

"Heh, it's cause you're not being a pervert." Sakura snickered, and poured another cup over his head making him sigh with relief.

"I think you're just a sadist." Gaara smirked, and received another scoff from her.

"Why do you keep saying that?" She stopped her actions, and put the cup up on the counter before leaning against the wall behind her.

"You were going to do it, had I lasted underneath you. I could see it." He turned his head on his knees to look at her, and was pleasantly surprised to see her blush.

'Ah, so my theory was correct.' He inwardly grinned to himself.

"Borders be damned, you were going to go as far as you wanted with me because I challenged you, and knowing how powerful I really am you felt so good taking me over. Making me cry, and beg..."

"Gaara, enough. Last night-"

"This morning." His eyes narrowed knowingly, and she looked thoroughly irritated.

"This morning was a mistake. I think we were both in a strange mindset, and letting off a little steam." Sakura got to her hands and knees to crawl forwards towards the cabinet. As she predicted, she found a nice stack of towels hiding away from the world.

"No, I don't think that's it. I think you liked how I was treating you, and part of you wanted to give in, but your precious super-ego told you to stay away. So your best option to get what you want was to give payback, to torture me how I tortured you so that you could have that satisfaction you truly desired. Justice, but with a pleasant twist." Gaara parted his lips as he watched her try to ignore him, and he felt his skin crawl with the need to force her to see him.

"Speaking of egos and super-egos, yours is starting to have problems again. Tell me, as a child did you ever have a maternal influence in your life?" She turned to finally match his gaze, and she seemed completely unphased by his behavior. He furrowed his naked brows at the question.

"No." He blinked at her, and she smiled kindly in reaction.

"Ah, well you certainly weren't smothered by a mother figure which is good. A lot of men suffer from that, but growing up without maternal affection could really skew how you view the world..."

"If you think I don't already know that then you might as well leave. I've come to terms with that fact, and I've brought closure to the trauma surrounding my family so I really don't need you dissecting me-"

"And I don't need you to dissect me either, Gaara." Sakura placed the folded towel gently on the closed lid of the toilet, and his eyes started to widen at her cleverness.

'Well played.'

"Well now, this is interesting. I really like how you think. You're almost as intelligent as Shikamaru." He raised his head with a smirk. "Careful though, I enjoy a challenge."

"So do I, and that's why we won't be sleeping together. We are much too stubborn." She scoffed again, and he raised his brows at the fact that she would state such a relationship so openly.

"That just goes to show you how well you know me, I know when to give up-"

"Oh no you don't! You wouldn't be here right now if you had that lesson down." Her eyes locked fiercely onto his own, and he felt a thrilling shiver go down his spine.

Trapped again. If she kept winning these word battles he was going to have to tackle her, and he was really trying to keep that weird new part of himself under wraps.

"And you wouldn't be here 'parenting' me if you weren't a sadist." At that, the towel was thrown in his direction, and he just barely caught it before it fell into the water.

"You have ten minutes to meet me in your room for a checkup or I swear I will knock you out, and drag you into that room to sleep for another week, coma-boy." Sakura had stood up during her threat, and brushed off her knees. She shot him one menacing glare before abandoning him in the bathroom; leaving the door wide open no less.

"She can be...kind of scary..." Gaara mumbled to himself before steadily getting out of the bath.

He checked a few times to see if she was looking at all, but each time he brought his eyes up to her figure she had her back turned.

"Are you done?" Sakura tapped her fingers on her bicep as she crossed her arms sternly.

No she hadn't watched him change, and it kind of disappointed him that she was so keen on keeping everything professional. After tasting her in the other reality, he wanted to have her here too.

It was frustrating.

"Yes." Gaara walked past the kunoichi while pulling his clean shirt over his head, and if he had slowed down just a smidge he would have certainly caught her staring at his stretched out abdomen before he covered it with the shirt. In the bathroom his lack of clothing was necessary, but now that the danger was avoided... "Let's get this over with."

"Indeed, can you get on the bed please?" She started fussing with something on her hip satchel, and didn't notice him blinking owlishly at her.

"I'm sorry, where?"

"On the bed please." She responded mechanically, and seemed to be growing more irritated with the fact that she couldn't find the tool she was searching for. He felt a devilish grin creep up on him.

"Alright, and how would you like me?" The redhead nearly purred, and her head shot up at the tone of his voice with a scowl.

"Not like that, just sit down!" She barked, and like a well trained tanuki he gladly obeyed. "You know, for a virgin you sure do have the air of a complete fuck-boy."

"A what?" His naked brows furrowed, not knowing whether to laugh at the description or be insulted. She approached him with a rather smug grin.

"It's a guy with a pretty face, shady disposition, is outrageously cocky, and goes around fucking nice girls while breaking their hearts. Oh, and they talk a big game, but when the pants come off there's really nothing to call home about." She finally found the little hammer-like tool she was searching for that was used to check the reflexes of one's knees, and he frowned at her as well as the reflex hammer.

"You know, I actually know a guy like that." Gaara started as he rolled up his pant legs past his knees. She snickered before she tapped at the first knee, getting the proper kicking reaction right away.

"Oh really? Now who would that be?" She enquired. He waited for her to finish the second knee before answering her with a smirk.

"Sasuke Uchiha."

If he wasn't already in the dog house then he certainly was now. The dark menacing look that graced her features was one that he had only partially predicted. He knew she would be angry, but this was true loathing at the moment.

"Really? I didn't know he was competition for you, oh great Kazekage. I'm sure he is honored that you are so jealous of him." Her eyes darted his frame, obviously sizing him up as well as letting him know that she was doing so.

Now the real punches were being thrown, and that last one stung quite a bit. He didn't know if he should return her animosity, because he honestly didn't want to chase her away.

"If he comes to town I'll be sure to make ample comparison, and send you the results." The redhead nodded, mostly to himself at his response to the situation. When she scoffed loudly at him, he felt the tension in the air lessen.

"Oh Gaara, it is not all about dick size, let's get that straight." The kunoichi almost snorted as her cruel demeanor finally faded into one of mirth. He smiled at her genuinely, and her eyes had to dart away from him as he did it.

Ah, so both Sakura's seemed to get flustered at the sight of him smiling. Good to know.

"What else would I need to have in able to win fair lady's heart, pray tell?" He joked around, but he was actually curious to what her answer would be. When she blushed, he felt himself become absorbed in finding out the answer.

"Um...well..." Her hands fidgeted, and he knew that he had to hear whatever secret she was keeping from him. "Just use more than what you have downstairs... really..."

Sakura gave a cute smile to him, and he was wondering why until he noticed he had tilted his head much like a puppy. He probably had that spacey look too...

"Alright. So what I have in my arsenal is my hands-" He wiggled his fingers in the air, and she gave a sarcastic laugh. "lips, teeth, tongue-"

"OKAY! Well! You can think about that on your own time! Let's get back to the exam..." She pulled out a tongue depressor, and he opened his mouth to allow her to check his throat thoroughly. When satisfied, she threw it in a bag that she was using as a garbage. "You seem to be healing rather quickly, you jinchuriki, I swear..."

"You're blushing." Gaara gave a small smile, and she frowned at him. "You blushed when I started going through the list, and I think that means you're hiding something from me..."

"I did not! You are thinking way too far into it-"

"Was it lips?"

"No."

"Teeth?"

"No."

"Ah, so it must be tongue then."

"NO! NOW STOP TALKING ABOUT IT, ITS GROSS!" Sakura shreiked, and he realized he had hit her weak point. The part that made her nervous like a teen going through with their first kiss, and it made him positively giddy. Well, as far as what was giddy for Gaara one would suppose.

"I see now, you either like this thing that boys do with their tongues-"

"STOP IT."

"Or it's so shameful that you can't admit to it-"

"IT'S NEITHER! I HAVEN'T DONE IT SO BACK OFF!"

Gaara recoiled at her reaction, and started to feel a little guilty for pushing her so much. She had clamped her arms protectively around her chest, and her skin was thoroughly red from head to toe. It was embarassing for her, perhaps it was even a personal problem, and he teased her for it.

"Sakura... I'm sorry... I was only messing around-"

"Well you play too much! If you want to figure out how to go down on a girl, go ask somebody else because I have no answers for you!" Sakura let her hair fall into her face shamefully before attempting to find her stethoscope, and he felt that shame resonate with him painfully.

He had to fix this.

"Would you... like me to-"

"Really? You're going to proposition me for oral? How fucking kind of you!" She interrupted him with a thorough scolding, and he blinked at her in surprise.

"Ah-no, I was going to ask if you wanted me to leave?"

The silence that ensued was palpable, and he could practically see sweat dripping from her brow caused by the amount of heat going to her face. He chose to smile gently, and try to save her dignity.

"I could do that too, though. I don't really know how, but I would try to do my best."

More silence, only this time she really was obviously sweating. Was she thinking about it?

"Sakura, it's okay you don-"

"I'll think about it." She nearly stammered, and he blinked at her in disbelief.

"You'll think about it?" He raised both brows at her in surprise.

"Yup." She paused for a moment before taking a breath, and widened her eyes at the floor. Her words were quick, and forced, but he felt himself accept it none the less. However, it didn't stop him from mimicking the color of her cheeks. "Lets... just continue with the exam."

"Sure. No problem." Gaara gulped audibly, and the tension in the room was strong. It were as if she had already made her decision, and they were about to go through with it. He wondered if he ever would get that answer.

While he had spaced out, the kunoichi had grabbed her stethoscope, and was proceeding to go up his shirt to place the cold metal over his chest. He flinched at the feeling of her smooth hand, the cold metal, and the pulling of the shirt. The redhead had made a gasping sound he wasn't too proud of, but when his eyes came up to make contact with her own he found she couldn't seem to look at him.

Her cheeks told him why.

"Your heart rate is a little fast-"

"Yup." He quickly interjected, wanting to cut this short less he make their relationship any more awkward. He felt a few her fingers move against his skin, and he shivered.

"Going a bit faster now." Sakura was professional at first, but then her natural ways deceived her as a smirk grew. "Gaara, would you take a breath for me?"

The way she said his name, it was almost breathy. His hairs stood on end as he did what he was told. She seemed oddly pleased.

"Gosh, you have a rabbit heart today!" The medic gave an almost wicked smile. "I'm going to need you to breath again, deeper this time."

She had to be teasing in her own strange way, and surprisingly she didn't have to talk dirty to get him completely on edge. He took another deep breath, and then exhaled while she clicked her tongue.

"Tch, not good. I'll have to get you from behind-"

"What?" Gaara blinked at her, and she returned his confusion with more flare. An ignorance is bliss sort of act.

"I need to check your lungs from the back. Is that not okay with you?" She gave him a cute expression, and he cursed himself for being almost a complete slave to his hormones.

"Ah, no, it's fine." He nodded quickly before tucking up his feet in a crossed fashion on the bed, and turned to face the opposite direction. Without warning her hand smoothed up his back under the shirt, and he sadly shivered like her touch was freezing. It wasn't though, it was surprisingly warm.

"You're so stiff..." Sakura had said this in a rather close proximity to his ear making him shudder pleasantly. He knew exactly what she was doing, and he didn't like it one bit. "Take a deep breath for me."

The redhead breathed carefully, but his inhales were beginning to shake. His body was betraying him.

How could it have switched so quickly? At first it had been him teasing, and flirting with her all the while causing her to fluster. Now he was suddenly so shy, and she had dominated the situation. However, she seemed to be more receptive to this type of submissive behavior. Perhaps he just needed to play dumb for a while, and let her take the reigns.

"You're shaking." Sakura was still so close, moving from one lung to the other as she spoke, but it was slowly turning serious. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine, I'm just not used to being touched."

It was true, he had never had anyone touch him so gently before. It was completely foreign.

"So you've never even cuddled, held hands, kissed-"

"No. I am inexperienced in really any form of human physical contact." His head started to hang dismally, but he felt her fingers tense.

"Did you know babies will die if they aren't physically nurtured?" He felt the metal slip away, but her hand remained where it was to eventually be joined by the other.

"No, I didn't know that." Gaara stared down at his hands, and wondered why his mind was wandering to sadder thoughts. However, his brain started to melt as her smooth fingers glided over his shoulder blades. He couldn't recognize whether this was supposed to be sexual or not.

"It's so important." Sakura began kneading at his shoulders gently, and he had to stifle a pleasant groan.

Everyone who was close to him knew how sore his body felt due to his lack of sleep. Even though his body was quick to heal, he couldn't help but feel constant fatigue, but now he was starting to feel strange. For once in his life he was starting to feel truly relaxed.

"You don't get massages often do you?" The medic giggled at him, and he continued to sigh in relief.

"I've never had one-"

"Are you kidding me?!" She stopped her ministrations, and he practically begged her to continue. "You've never been touched, never had a massage, haven't had sex... nothing! How are you even alive right now?!"

"Shukaku." The redhead responded rather quickly, and the room was instantly silenced. He felt her hands twitch against his skin, and it made him want to cry from the lack of comfort they were bringing him. He felt greedy, wanting to be touched so carefully by her that when she wouldn't glide her fingers across his flesh he just wanted to die.

Suddenly he felt her head resting on his shoulder, and it made his body tense all over.

"You jinchuriki, all of you have carried such a huge burden... and have been beaten down by it instead of praised for your strengths. Left alone to fight for yourselves-"

"It's not like that anymore." Gaara sighed again, feeling a wave of depression wash over him.

"But you're still not cared for like you should be. No wonder you're a closet pervert, you're just trying to get some sort of connection aren't you? Some sort of human contact." Sakura's hands began smoothing themselves over his skin once more, and he shivered visibly.

She wasn't doing this out of affection, she was doing this out of pity, and it made him sour.

"Please don't, I don't want you to touch me unless it is what you genuinely want." He attempted to shrug away from her, but her slender arms quickly surrounded his frame to hold him to her. He could feel her chest pressed up against his back making him blush slightly.

"I was touching you before this conversation, wasn't I? I know you're not a charity case, and I know you have enough love and recognition to get by. I may sympathize with you, but I am not going to do anything I don't actually want to do. You should know I'm not that type of person-"

"You claimed to have been in love with Naruto once to keep him out of danger, so I think that makes you a liar." Gaara soured further, and she tensed.

"I do love Naruto, but not in the way that he wanted. So while it wasn't exactly true, it wasn't false either. I was being honest when I said I loved him, but I had to tweak it to keep him away from Sasuke; to keep him out of the fray. Keep him from stopping us." Sakura sighed in exasperation making it known that she was mentally drained from that particular ordeal.

"You don't love me, but we seem to have something rather interesting happening between us." The redhead said quietly, and a long silence ensued while he just sat there letting her hold him.

"I don't know you well enough yet to make such brash decisions. We're friends, but we rarely even talk. I don't even know what your favorite food is-"

"Gizzard, or salted tongue." He answered her rather quickly, and she seemed off-put by his answer.

"That is... disgusting." Sakura cringed before she laughed out loud.

"It's really quite a tender meat, salted tongue. When cooked correctly it is very soft, and smooth." Gaara mused over the delicacy, but his attentions were brought back as his current doctor began working at his tired muscles once again. He let himself groan this time.

"How about dislikes?" She said softly, and he felt a tingle from just the tone of her voice.

"Sticky sweets... usually sickeningly sweet confections that get stuck in your teeth. I really don't like those sort of things-"

"How about fruits?" She interjected, and he trembled again at her soothing tone.

"Berries... berries are really good for some reason..." Gaara felt his lids lower slightly as his body melted under her working hands. No longer was her touch erotic to him, but rather completely healing.

"Well then, I guess I'll have to go to the market today then. You'll need some snacks to get your strength back. Berries and... uh... 'protein' are certainly allowed in your diet so you are all set to eat your favorite foods already." Sakura's hand moved up to his neck, and rubbed at where his spine met with his skull. He gave a rather loud groan of relief. "Hey, don't make noises like that... it's weird-"

"I can't help it, I've never had this massaged before, it feels good." He attempted to argue, but as she pressed a bit harder he groaned again.

"Gaara, knock it off!" She barked, and he could imagine the blush on her cheeks.

"Then stop rubbing it so hard-"

"You need it rubbed out! It's really stiff!"

"Well, I'm going to make some noises then! Do you really think I can keep quiet when I've never been touched this way-?"

"What the fuck is going on in here!?"

Both Gaara, and Sakura shot their heads up to see a very pissed off blonde standing in the doorway. He had his arms crossed sternly across his chest in a power stance, and his blue eyes darted between the two of them accusingly.

"Ah- Naruto? What are you doing here?" Gaara immediately perked at the sight of his most trusted friend, and he even felt a smile form on his face from how happy he was to actually see the other jinchuriki.

"Not fucking around like you guys are, apparently-"

"NARUTO! That is so unprofessional! You apologize right now!" Sakura pulled her hands out from under Gaara's shirt, and he almost shivered at how horrible it was to have the sensation of them gone.

"No way! You're totally doing something shady Miss I'M RUBBING GAARA OFF CAUSE HE'S 'STIFF'!" Naruto pulled down his lower eyelid, and stuck his tongue out in a crass manner making Sakura tense all over.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT WE WERE DOING YOU IDIOT!" The kunoichi practically jumped up just to punch the blonde in the face, and just like always he took the full brunt of the hit.

"Naruto..." Gaara tried to keep calm in the face of the two fighting team mates, and they both seemed to stop their actions to look at him. The redhead almost felt himself get nervous under the blonde's intense gaze. "It's... been a while. How are you?"

Naruto perked up at suddenly being the center of attention, and gave the redhead a signature ear to ear grin.

"Never better! I missed ya! Heard you haven't done much after the war-"

"Hey now, I have been working very hard. I helped refer Kakashi to being your guy's new Hokage remember? And I just got done recovering from a rather nasty poison." Gaara crossed his arms with a smirk, and the blonde gave a smart laugh.

"Yeah, I heard some interesting things about that... then I heard you got Sakura here all alone with you, in your bedroom no less... and now there's all sorts of perverted shit going on in here-!"

"LIKE I SAID IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Sakura screeched before punching him in the back of the head. "Go back home to your girlfriend if you are going to act like a pig!"

"Eh?! Hinata and I aren't that far yet-!"

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION!"

Gaara had missed them.

 **AN: Woo! Glad to be posting again, had an anime convention holding me up for a minute (and I cosplayed our lovely Gaara pretty well nyuk nyuk nyuk), but now I am back! Hope you guys are still liking this :3 As for warnings I don't know if the next chapter will have sexy times or a bad day in it because I haven' even started it yet Lmao! We shall see! Be sweet and review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Just a precaution, there is implied sexual assault as well as self harm. You have been warned.**

"...Gaara!..."

It sounded far away, whoever was calling for him, and suddenly he was in a house.

Just a normal house, with wood floors that creaked, and walls that were paper thin; stained yellow from the years of tobacco and nicotine. However, he knew this house, and it's secrets. He knew how to step just right so that he wouldn't make any noise.

Silence was of great importance in this hellish place. This place that smelled like dust, and at the time of twilight one could see the particles floating through the air silently like a dream. It was filthy, and yet it was ethereal. Like it belonged out of space, and time.

"...Gaara!..." The frantic voice sounded closer, and he could hear the muffled sounds of crying. He quickened his pace up the stairs, and remembered the feeling of the old wood of the banister as he death gripped it.

At the top of the stairs was a dark hallway, and at the end of it was a door cracked open just slightly.

Just looking at it made him feel sick. There was a monster in there, one that made him terrified.

"Gaara!" Her voice rang through, and he could hear grunting accompanied by the screams, and the crying.

She was... calling for help, but why? Why this place?

He walked slowly, and felt an impending doom wash over him as he approached the door. Before he could even think to look inside, he heard a man.

"If you fucking call for him again I will kill you, do you understand?! You will wait until I am done with you!" The man sounded older than him, but the voice was so warped that he couldn't recognize it.

He could recognize that sound though, that slamming sound of furniture beneath two bodies crashing into each other. He could hear her gasping, and sobbing, and her voice croaked painfully as she begged the man to stop whatever it was he was doing.

Gaara was going to be sick, he didn't want to see what was on the other side-

Suddenly the sounds stopped, and it became dead silent. It was as if the two specters had disappeared. The door opened...

His teenage self appeared, looking hard at the wooden floor before closing the door behind himself.

Was... He the culprit? Was he the monster?!

The teenager looked up, and he recognized his older self staring back.

"Ah, you're here. I knew you would try to come back one day." The younger Gaara looked dead inside, and the elder wondered why.

"What happened... in that room?" The elder asked, and the younger stared into his eyes sternly.

"I can't tell you, and you can't go in there... I won't let you." The younger lifted up his hands, and a thousand yard stare came over him as he looked at his limbs. The elder looked down too.

They held a hunting knife... and were covered up to the elbows in blood.

"Still warm. The body is still warm. Like its only sleeping..." The younger looked around himself before staring at his older self. The elder felt like he was about to vomit. "I have to burn the house down now, so you should go. Don't worry, she's not hurting anymore."

"What did you do-?!"

"I have to burn the evidence. I have to burn the house down. It's going to disappear. It's finally over." The younger gave a crazed look, and the elder felt a tear slip out of his eye. He touched at the liquid flowing down his cheek with confusion. "She won't be blamed if I burn it to the ground, it'll be on me. They won't know what I did after the fire cleanses this place..."

"Gaara, what did you do?!" The elder Gaara grabbed the younger one by the shoulders, and shook him violently. The knife dropped to the floor as the younger started to laugh.

"So much blood... haha... blood everywhere! Hahaha! It reeks of it!" The younger lost it, and started laughing so hard his whole body quaked. The elder had finally had enough of this, and reached for the door handle.

"GET BACK!" The younger pushed the elder so hard he flew all the way down the hall, and rolled painfully down the staircase. It was beyond what was physically possible in that realm. "DON'T COME BACK HERE! RUN! JUST FUCKING RUN!"

RUN!

Gaara sat up, and gasped violently for air. He looked around himself, and saw that it was still night, but the sweat that covered him while he laid in bed told him that the nightmare was truly stressing him out. His body was shaking so bad he thought he might be sick.

No. Not sick, he was afraid. He had never been so afraid in his life.

"Sakura... where is she..." He panted worriedly, and held his head in his hands.

Had he killed her in another dimension? Was that a memory, or just a nightmare? What dimension was that? Why did he do it?!

Gaara panicked, and grabbed at his chest as he painfully went through a panic attack. He gasped for air, but felt like his lungs weren't taking in the oxygen. He tried letting out a scream, but it was strangled in his throat.

'I'm so afraid!' Tears slipped fearfully down his cheeks, and he couldn't stop. He had to make some sort of noise!

He looked over hazily, and saw a lamp on his nightstand. In a weak lunge he pushed it off the stand, and like he had hoped it shattered loudly on the stone floor.

Gaara inhaled sharply, clawing at his sternum to the point that it was starting to burn horrifically. He wasn't passing out, but why? He couldn't breathe!

"Gaara?!" Her voice echoed through the room, and he was so thankful. He knew she of all people would hear the noise. "Oh my God, Gaara! Stop stop stop!"

She pulled his hands away from his chest, and he couldn't understand why until he saw the blood.

Blood? He never bled unless he was truly injured, and it was rare that something like that happened-

"STOP IT! You are going to kill yourself if you do that!"

What was she talking about?

"Give it to me! GIVE THAT TO ME! PLEASE!" Sakura screamed frantically, and he felt something fall out of his hand.

It was... a knife made of sandstone. He had somehow made a knife in his sleep...

"Sa...kura... help... plea..se..." He tried to breathe, but ended up coughing up blood. The red splattered onto her chest as he fell forward into her lap, and she frantically laid him back as her hands started to glow.

"What did you do?! Why did you do that?!" She cried out, and even in his hazed state he could see tears streaming down her cheeks. "YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"

He almost wanted to laugh. The only person who reacted like that for him were his siblings, and Naruto. Now he could add the beautiful kunoichi to his list.

He felt his lungs stitch back together first, and his first initial breath was a starved one. His chest was still bleeding, but at least he could breathe.

"What's happening?! Gaara?!" Naruto was the next person to burst in, and he was thoroughly upset by the sight.

Well, now he knew the blonde was probably going to be tailing him for the rest of his stay.

"He was cutting open his chest with that." She nodded to the knife, and the blonde looked at it accusingly. "However, I don't think he meant to do it. Something's wrong."

"Is it the poison?" Naruto pressed desperately, and Sakura frowned.

"I... can't say... It could be some sort of jutsu... I'm almost done hold on-" She started to pant, and he could see the sweat literally rolling down her temples. She was pressing out chakra at almost full capacity for almost a full ten minutes. It would be like him lifting all the sand in Sunagakure for at least two minutes, any longer and he'd drop dead.

"Stop...It's fine... just bandage the rest..." He tried to sit up, but she stopped her healing to violently push him back onto the mattress.

"Stay down! You are not finished!" Sakura barked, and he looked off to the side with guilt.

"Please don't, I'm not dying anymore... It's okay now... I promise." He pleaded with her, and Naruto took on a sad expression.

"Sakura, do as he says. You may have saved his life, but now your hurting him with something else." The blonde put a hand on her shoulder, and she deflated. She looked as if she were going to cry, but never went through with it. Instead she quietly went for her medical bag, and stitched him up the old fashioned way.

It hurt, and he made sure his sand didn't try to stop her from stitching his skin together, but it was a sensation he hadn't felt in a long time. Real bleeding physical pain. He tried to savor it, for remembrance sake.

"I'm surprised you're not freaking out." She said quietly, and he raised a naked brow as she finished the last stitch.

"Why?" He said it just as quietly, and Naruto looked between the two awkwardly.

"I remember that fight you had with Sasuke at the chunin exams, and he pierced through your sand armor with the chidori. At first everything was quiet, but then you screamed. It had sounded like nothing I had ever heard before, it was... the scariest sound I had ever heard in my life." Sakura wiped down the freshly sewn wound, and placed a gauze over it before bandaging him up. "Now here I find you cutting a hole in your own chest, and you are cool as a cucumber, even with a pierced lung."

"He cut open a lung?!" Naruto freaked, and she nodded quickly to answer him. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! You could have died!"

"I was... having a nightmare..." Gaara looked beside himself shamefully, and the kunoichi smoothed her palm over her handy work. His eyes shot to hers in surprise, and she gave him a weak smile.

"I think... this poison might have messed with your brain... permanently." Sakura spoke just above a whisper, as if she was afraid to say it.

The redhead felt his stomach churn.

'I dont... want to be crazy...' He felt another panic attack coming on, and his eyes widened in fear. She noticed instantly, and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"I can fix it! I'll fix It! Please don't do that!" His head smoothed over her chest, and he could hear her heart racing. "It will be fine! We'll get some scans tomorrow, and we will fix this, okay? I won't leave you until we have you completely healed."

Half of him was desperate to stay sane, but now the other half hoped he was crazy just so she would be forced to stay here with him.

'How selfish. Shame on you, Gaara.' He mentally betrayed himself, and his face showed mental fatigue.

"Naruto, we are sleeping in here for the rest of the night-"

"Eh?! Where?!" The blonde searched the room with his eyes, only finding the large master bed. "We can't sleep in the same bed-!"

"That is the plan." She deadpanned, and both of the jinchuriki stiffened.

"Sakura... um... I'm not single anymore." Naruto fidgeted, and the woman groaned at him.

"Gaara is sleeping in the middle, you idiot!" Sakura barked at him, and he recoiled.

"But I'm not into him like that either-"

"ITS NOT FOR SEX!" She stood up abruptly, making the redhead lurch forward after her sudden vacancy. Turning around in a panic, she sat him upright. "Naruto, he has to be protected thoroughly. We need to make sure he's not injuring himself in his sleep!"

"Oh! Okay, cool! Its a sleepover!" The blonde grinned ear to ear, and her face dropped. "I've never been to a sleep over! This is awesome!"

"It will be a first for me too..." Gaara finally piped in, and the two Konoha shinobi blinked at him. "I hope... I don't cause any more trouble-"

"As long as you're not grabbing my butt or my breasts while we sleep, then I'd say it's no trouble at all." Sakura tried to remain light hearted, and he appreciated it.

"I can't make any promises-" Gaara began with a weak smirk, and she gave him an incredulous look.

"Sakura, if you need someone to take the fall I can do a sexy jutsu to distract him!" The blonde beamed, and she smacked him upside the head.

"Idiot! Stop making matters worse! Sexy jutsu... stupid..." She huffed, and started to change the bedding on the Kazekage's bed making the redhead stand up carefully for her efforts to be successful. "Once I get new sheets and blankets set up we can go back to sleep. This time there won't be any 'accidents'."

"You're making it sound like Gaara wet the bed..." Naruto snickered before dodging one of her signature blows.

Gaara ended up laughing a bit too, although it kind of hurt from the stitches.

By the time everything was set up, he felt himself growing fatigued again, and he began to sway on his feet. The last sway had him tipping to the side, but thankfully Naruto was there to catch him.

"Hey, are you okay, Gaara?" The blonde fussed over the redhead, and put a hand to his forehead. "You're not hot, but I guess you're pretty tired. I'll help you get in okay?"

"Naruto, I'm... so sorry..." Gaara let himself really lean against his best friend, and the warmth he gained from the other jinchuriki felt nice. He felt strong arms wrap around him, but even with all their strength they still felt so gentle.

"It's okay, Gaara. I'm not going to let anything else happen to you. I'll chase your stupid nightmares away with a good old rasengan." The blonde chuckled, and the redhead ended up joining him. He tried holding himself up by grabbing onto the other man's shoulders, and Naruto saw it as a sign to help keep him steady by holding him closer.

To a stranger it might have looked... odd, or romantic, but the two jinchuriki treated each other almost like twins. It was an interesting bond to say the least, and Gaara knew that no one else but Naruto would understand it.

"Okay, all done." Sakura turned around, and Gaara watched her change several shades of red. "Wh-what the fuck is this?!"

"Eh? What's up, Sakura?" Naruto tilted his head at her, and she started to blush when she realized that the moment between the two jinchuriki was an innocent one. "Oh, okay! I get it! I'm not holding him correctly, huh?"

Naruto waisted no time in going into a squat with his arms at the ready. As the blonde had predicted, Gaara lost his balance falling backwards into his arms. The initial lift off the ground startled him a bit, but the blush that followed was a deep one when he realised that his best friend was carrying him like a bride over a threshold. Sakura looked like her eyes were going to pop out.

"N-Naruto! You can't just hold him like that!" She screeched, and turned slightly to try to avert her eyes. However she still peeped here and there.

"Eh? What's wrong with it? It's not for a long time, and its just to lay him down ya know?" Naruto carried the other jinchuriki back over to the bed, and gently placed him in the middle. Gaara felt a shiver go down his spine from the cool sheets, and Naruto noticed. "Is it too cold? Hold on I can make it warmer..."

The redhead felt his stomach flip as the blonde went to take off his shirt, but was quickly punched in the back of the head by a feisty pink haired kunoichi sporting a crimson blush.

"STOP THAT! ITS INAPPROPRIATE!" Sakura shrieked, and Naruto rubbed his head in agony.

"Why?! It's not like we're going to do anything! We're like brothers! Here, he can take his shirt off too-OW!" The blonde sank to the floor, and held his head in his hands as he groaned from another hard hit.

"You will not do that while I'm present! You can have brotherly love on your own time, pervert!" She shrieked one last time before circling to the other side of the bed. She did everything in her power not to look Gaara in the face as she climbed in next to him, and if he were in better condition he would have teased her for it.

But right now... right now his whole body screamed at him to just rest, lest he be put in an early grave.

Just as that thought started to weigh on him, Naruto jumped into bed on the other side of the redhead. His best friend grinned brightly at him before ruffling his red hair playfully.

Gaara's heart pounded happily in his chest over the shining affection the other man gave him. If Naruto were a woman, he would have proposed by now for certain. Sadly, Naruto didn't have the right parts for a romance to work in Gaara's favor, but he loved him all the same.

Then he was reminded of the woman he liked so much sleeping on the other side of him, and that made him feel warm all over as well. At the moment, he honestly felt comforted, loved, and safe.

"Okay, let's all get some rest, and Gaara, if you feel even the slightest bit strange at any point you let us know immediately. Okay?" Sakura reached over to squeeze the redhead's hand, and he nodded to her in understanding.

"Okay! I call big spoon first!" Naruto cuddled up to Gaara, and the Kazekage flushed at the contact. Sakura was facing him at the moment, and had to put a hand over her mouth to hide a snicker.

"Goodnight, Lord Kazekage." She said it rather smugly before turning away from him.

He watched the back of her head for a moment, and then decided to pull a Naruto and snuggle up to her. She tensed, and he felt a smirk grow on his face. However, Naruto soon followed him again, and that face was replaced by the original blush from before.

Safe, warm, and embarrassed the redhead felt himself begin to drift once more, but this time he was enveloped by the people he loved most. He was protected.

 **AN: Been really into the Gaara/Naruto canon relationship lately, and while I don't ship them romantically I do think that they are so incredibly precious. I love their relationship, it's adorable! More of this strange Gaa/Naru fluff i say! It is just too freaking cute, but we will still keep the romance between him and Sakura of course. Ugh, two jinchuriki beans all snuggled up GAH! TOO CUTE!**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Hey guys! It' been a minute, but here's a fresh chappie for you!**

Gaara woke first, as he was sweating pretty bad from the two bodies snuggled up to him. The sun was starting to rise in his window, and he could see it's burning red rays stretch across the glittering sandy dunes.

He heard Sakura hum in her sleep, and he turned from his back onto his side in able to look at her more clearly. She was facing him now, and her soft pink locks had trickled into her face beautifully.

"You shouldn't stare like that, it's kind of creepy." A female voice came from behind him, and he tensed at its tone as well as it's proximity.

'Oh. Wait a second.' He rolled over, and narrowed his eyes. However, he couldn't help the small blush creeping up on his cheeks.

"Naruto-"

"Hey, I'm just keeping your mind off of her. Dirty boy!" The blonde puffed out 'her' cleavage, and shook her pigtails slightly. This form always seemed to have a strange effect on him, and he didn't know if he hated it or if he kind of liked it.

At any rate, he was already done with Naruto's antics.

"Well... you have my attention. What are you going to do about it?" Gaara smiled darkly before slowly making his way over to Naruto, and the transformation stared at him with wide pretty eyes.

"Eh!? You do know that I'm not actually a woman right?!" The blonde backed away as he crawled towards 'her', and his smile turned even more sinister for an added fear factor.

"Well, you see, I was wondering if your jutsu really changed 'everything'. Do the insides match the outside?" As the redhead spoke he watched his friend start to flush through a range of colors, and he almost broke out of character finding it hilarious. "Haven't you been curious what it's like... to be a woman... and maybe have a man inside yo-"

"EH! NO NO NONONONO!" Naruto started shaking 'her' head wildly, and just as Gaara had finally crawled over her shivering form, she changed in a puff of smoke back into the man he knew and cared for. "See!? I'm a man! I'm a man!"

"...Well I suppose beggars can't be choosers, how about a kiss-?"

"WHAT?!" The blonde started to panic, and the redhead placed his porcelain hands on the other man's shoulders to pin him down. "SAKURAAAAA!"

When Naruto finally let out a scream, she jumped up awake, and ready to kill like the talented ninja she was.

But then, she saw two men in a suspicious body position, and she blushed almost crimson.

"IDIOTS!"

\- ... - ... - ... - ... - ... -

"God, my head hurts..." Gaara rubbed the back of his skull while he walked through the city, and Naruto mimicked him.

"Yeah, she has a mean punch... so cold!" Naruto gave an exaggerated sniffle, and the redhead couldn't help but smile at him.

"It's because you boys are idiots! Perverts!" Sakura stomped behind them viciously, and they both paled at the tone of her voice. "This had better not affect your CAT scans today-!"

"Wouldn't that be your fault though? I swear I can feel my brain hemorrhaging..." Gaara teased, and he could hear her nearly growl as she stomped up next to him.

"You know, you used to be cute, but now you're just a pest." The kunoichi crossed her arms firmly, and he could feel the bitterness rolling off of her.

'Cute?' The redhead felt a blush form, and suddenly he couldn't stop smiling.

"Thanks..." He eyed the ground, and tangled his hands behind him in a coy fashion. Both her, and the blonde raised their brows at him.

"For what? I just insulted you!" Sakura gave him an incredulous look, and he looked up at the sky warmly.

"You said I was cute... at least at one point. That's enough for me to feel good today." He closed his eyes, and enjoyed the warmth of the sun on his face. He heard her stop dead, so he stopped too. When he opened his eyes, and turned, she was blinking at him.

"Um... you're welcome... I guess..." That's when she looked away shyly, and he knew she was feeling embarassed over what she had said to him. However, it was a sweet moment.

Naruto cleared his throat loudly, and the woman snapped into a ramrod straight position.

"Eh... to the hospital!" Sakura started marching ahead of them, and the guys followed without a fuss.

It didn't take too long to get there, but it was a bit more difficult than he originally thought. The doctors required two separate brain scanning sessions, one with a contrast agent, and one with no contrast agent. Gaara had been able to lay still for several minutes during the first test no problem, and he knew that being still wasn't a problem for him.

It was the contrast agent that was the problem. When it came time for the second test his sand kept coming to his 'aid' to block them from injecting the iodine solution into his arm.

'Where were you last night when I was cutting myself open?!' He glowered at the grains, and they moved almost guiltily against him. Sakura sat in front of him now, and took over the injection job from one of the nurses. She asked everyone to leave the room, and suddenly he was very curious of what she had planned.

"Gaara..." She softened her eyes, and he felt suddenly locked onto them. As if they were sparkling. "You trust me right?"

How could he not? He nodded with complete confidence in her.

"Okay, then listen closely. This injection will not harm you. It is for your benefit, and will aid in your recovery. It is not a threat. The needle is not a threat. The needle is not going to kill you..." Sakura placed the needle on his skin, and his sand started to swirl near it. "It will not harm you. It will not kill you. It's for your health. For your benefit-"

She quickly pricked his skin while repeating her mantra, and the sand went to almost cover the area like a bandaid, but it didn't halt the needle as it pressed into the vein. She injected the iodine based contrast, and he felt his blood run warm in the immediate area. A metallic taste entered his mouth, and he lapped his tongue on the roof of his mouth as if it would rid him of the flavor.

"Good job! It's all done! I know the side effects are kind of strange, but they will go away I promise." She smiled, and he tried smiling back, but he was practically chewing at his tongue to try to get the taste out. She ended up giggling at him in the end.

Everything had been going smoothly once again, he laid down on the cot that rolled into the machine, and tapped his fingers in able to keep his whole body from fidgeting.

However, something started to go haywire. Suddenly the coffin-like machine was making him anxious, and his breathing increased to keep up with his pounding heart.

"Gaara, are you okay? You're moving around, and we need you to hold-"

"I'm not okay." The redhead fearfully interjected, and his body started to tense to the point that he couldn't breathe.

He was having another panic attack.

Gaara closed his eyes tight in desperation, praying for some sort of way out.

"Hey, you're okay. It's just a machine, you are in a safe place. Naruto, and I won't let anything happen to you." Sakura's voice was so calm, but something told him that she was secretly on edge.

"Sakura..." The redhead nearly pleaded, and he felt as if his body was starting to fall. It were as if the room was fading away...

"I told you to call me Dr. Haruno." Suddenly a cold voice was next to him practically in his ear. A voice he knew intimately, and secretly loved.

No way. There was no way. He wasn't sleeping! There weren't any drugs!

"Gaara, can you answer me? Please answer if you are alright!" The kind kunoichi sounded frightened, and he felt completely frozen.

"It's been days, you know. Do you really prefer that place? Heh, what am I saying? Of course you do-" The doctor spoke in an almost broken tone, and he could sense her reaching for his hand.

"Gaara! God damnit! Somebody shut off the machine!" Her scream echoed in his ears.

"I missed you, I always do. I hate that I can't keep you..." Her hand reached him, and he knew the spectre was flesh.

"He's seizing! Someone get me the benzodiazepine!" He was being grabbed at from all sides.

"If I keep you, it'll be the end for us, but maybe we could run away... or maybe die together..." Soft fingers slid over his knuckles.

"HOLD HIM DOWN!"

The world was shaking, but also standing still as if they overlapped each other. The two worlds were trying to fight for his attention. Was he being ripped in two? Which side would he land on? Or perhaps he was doomed to fall forever in a spiral of multiple realities.

"GAARA!" One cried desperately.

"Do you love me enough to do that? Would you die with me?" The other cried longingly.

Gaara opened his eyes with a start, and looked over at the pink haired woman. Her face looked worn, and worried. He would reassure her... make her feel at ease.

"No. I won't die with you." He began, and her eyes turned sad. He smoothed over her delicate hand, and entwined his fingers with her own. The world around them was no longer blurred, and he knew he was fully present now. Here is this world of white coats, needles, bleach, and the smallest hint of hope. "I will live for you. For both of us."

Tears began flowing from the doctor's eyes, but even in her heartache she still managed to find a smile for him.

"You're a really stupid man, you know that? You do not want these damaged goods-"

"You were damaged when we started, and I love you all the same. I'm not going to assume that my affections will fix you, and that's not what I'm in it for." Gaara sat up, and looked at his hospital garb, noting that he now wore a white tee shirt, and pale yellow drawstring pants. They didn't flatter him, but nothing in this asylum ever did.

He looked over at the woman of his interests, and noted her haphazard hair held up by two pins, the wrinkled white blouse that was poorly buttoned, and a pencil skirt that went to her knees that made him disappointed that he couldn't see her thighs. He always loved her legs, bruised or creamy he truly desired them. Desired her.

Or at least, the version of himself from this world loved her very much, and the shinobi in him was beginning to fall for her too.

"I loved you that night when we were just stupid teenagers in the playground, trying to escape our disgusting lives by finding affection in each other. You were innocent, regardless of how many times that man-"

"Don't." She stopped him sternly, and he gave her a confused glance. "It's... those are things I don't like to think about. You should understand why."

He did. The redhead understood it rather well, but probably not on the level that she did. However, now that they were on the topic of the past...

'That dream...'

"Sakura, did I ever force you to do anything you didn't want me to? Did I ever physically hurt you? Or try to kill you?" Gaara looked at the hand he had clasped in her own, and felt a calming warmth as he watched her fingers squeeze his.

"No, on all accounts. You have never hurt me in any way. However, you hurt a lot of people for me." Sakura glanced spacily over to the window, and a feeling of dread hit him.

'...a lot of people?'

"Did I kill somebody-?"

"It's time for lunch, you've spent the last few days, and this morning either sleeping or in a daze... I'd like to actually spend some time with you outside today." She smiled weakly at him, and he could see how tired she really was. He wouldn't press it then, he'd find out eventually either by her own words or by his 'memories'.

\- ... - ... - ... - ... -

'The other side, I hope everyone is okay there... I don't want them to worry...' Gaara thought to himself as he looked up at the trees. The green leaves were so bright in contrast to the dark grey sky. It was obvious that it was going to rain, but he didn't care one bit. He was finally outside, and if the rain fell then he would savor every cool drop against his skin.

"Was the food good? I actually made it myself." Sakura gave a cute smile, and he felt himself blush over it.

"Uh... Yeah. It was really good. Thank you." He nodded to himself before handing her his empty bento box. She smiled even further before hiding the lacquered box away in a silk bag.

"So, you remember our first time then?" The doctor pulled the pins out of her pink locks, and let the strands slip over her shoulders. He licked his lips at the question.

"Yes... but that's it so far..." Gaara blinked as her hand seemed to find his through the grass, and he felt warm as her fingers slipped along his palm before grasping sweetly.

"Well, I'm sure you'll have a blast remembering the rest. You couldn't stay away from me after that. Sometimes you'd even break into my house when my step father was gone, or we'd skip class to fool around under the basement staircase... sometimes on the roof..." Sakura eyed him from the side with a knowing smile. "It was our secret, nobody knew. Just like it is now-"

"I don't want it to stay that way." The redhead spoke with a firmness that even surprised him, and he knew she could see that. She breathed softly beside him, and he locked his eyes onto the grass below.

"If you listen to me this time...then we can get out of here." Her voice shook as she said it, but not out of fear. She spoke as if it was a genuine need that had been unmet for a long time. "Play nice, stay sane, and I can get you out of here. Then I'll quit. We can go wherever you want. Tokyo, Okinawa, Kyoto-"

"An island... with lots of pure sand." Gaara felt a smile grow on his face, and she practically snorted at him.

"Sex on the beach kind of guy, huh? Okay, I can dig that." Sakura smirked, and his eyes shyly locked onto her own. He wanted her, and badly, but this was still such a new territory. It was like he was being re-trained in.

"Children. I'd like to have children, and be married. I want a real family..." His eyes stayed on her, and he watched her bristle before giving a scoff.

"Fine. When do you want to get married?" She said it with such aloofness that he wondered how she truly felt about it all.

It didn't matter, all that mattered was her at the moment.

"Yesterday." Gaara smiled genuinely, and he saw the smile returned to him with interest.

"Yesterday? Well shit, we missed that deadline-"

"It's alright, you can make it up to me later." His expression showed a hint of mischief, and she giggled softly.

"Oh really? Well, if I remember correctly, you usually like to get me in the mood first." Sakura leaned in to whisper in his ear, sending a shiver down his spine. "I hope you remember what to do with that lovely mouth of yours, those are the memories that keep me up at night... all night sometimes."

Gaara tensed through his whole body at the thought, and more than a few racey images crossed his mind.

"You might have to remind me-" He said nervously, but her giggles interrupted him.

"Oh, it's like you're a teenager again! So cute!" The doctor nearly squealed, but was able to keep it relatively contained.

A droplet fell onto his face, and then another. Suddenly the thick patter of large rain drops began dropping all around them like a flash storm. Several patients that were out in the large yard space started to either shout with joy, or scream in terror. At first Sakura seemed to be in a hurry as she went to a standing position, but then she looked down at him almost dreamily as he sat there in the now downpour. Everyone else either ran back into the building for shelter, or to settle down unruly patients, but he wanted to wait. He wanted to feel the rain.

Gaara lost track of time as he zoned out, feeling nothing but the droplets of cool water against his already chilled skin. The liquid sloped off of his nose, and streamed into his eyes from the absence of brow hair. He didn't really care, he just wanted to become one with the water, and possibly melt into the grass until the dirt absorbed him completely.

"Gaara, let's go in. It's getting dark." Sakura's lips trembled blue, and he realized that he had kept her out here with him for an obscene amount of time. He practically jumped up from his seated position at the sight of her drowned, shivering form.

"I'm so sorr-!"

"Don't be. I was having a good day dream." The doctor's blue lips pulled for a genuine smile, but it didn't help the fact that she looked almost like a wet corpse. He snatched her hand, and felt the ice hit him.

"Let's get you inside, I don't want you to get sick." Just as he started pulling her by the hand, she stood her ground making him turn back in surprise.

"You never do. Always the worrying boyfriend." She gave a weak laugh, and the title had him flushing at his cold cheeks making the sensation a prickling one. "I wish I could relive the day you took me home with you. Like a drenched kitten, you fed and warmed me. I wonder... If I were willing... would you have done more-"

"Sakura, it's getting dangerous-" Just as he said it, a large lightening strike hit nearby making the woman jump considerably. "-out here... let's go inside. We can talk more."

"It's not really that important." Sakura began walking, and he followed close by her side. "It'll be mayhem inside... all the doctors and nurses will be running around like crazy-"

She stopped talking, and her face lit up a bit. Without much warning she took his hand, and began running towards the building.

Gaara almost tripped on his feet as he was brought to a halt while she threw open the door, and as they entered she immediately turned around with a sly smile.

"Start acting upset about the lightening. Don't question it, just go full frankenstein's creation, okay?" Her grin grew from ear to ear, and he knew she had some sort of strange plan in store for them.

"Okay." The redhead nodded, and took a breath to compose himself before getting into character. He gave a hard frown before shouting. "BRIGHT LIGHT! IT'S LOUD! NO!"

He grabbed his skull for an added effect, and Sakura practically snorted before stringing him along with her.

Not a single person questioned it.

 **AN: I've been trying to slow burn my fics... BUT I ALMOST PHYSICALLY CANNOT STAND TO DO IT, MY GOD! Been attempting to satiate my horrible smut mongering into small oneshots I've been writing. Some random Gaa/Saku and some Hiei/Botan ones from Yu Yu Hakusho. (Also attempted a Vincent/Yuffie FF7 fic but it's hard finding a way to get them together, I might have to pull out some 'classic' scenarios) So yeaaaah... No clue if I should post my trash or not as it's not super in depth just more 'get it out of my system' stuff. We'll see what you guys think, yeah? Hope you are all having a beautiful life!**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Hello there! It's good to be posting again, now here's some smut! Nice and raunchy as per the usual ;) enjoy!**

"It's okay, Gaara. No more bright lights-" Just as she said it another flash with a loud boom sounded outside, they were rounding the corner towards her office as he gave a rather realistic scream.

"NO MORE LIGHT! NO MORE!" He latched onto her, and hid his face between her shoulder blades with a snicker as he walked behind her. She huffed at him, and walked awkwardly with him clinging to her back like a baby monkey.

"Ah, Dr. Haruno. Nice seeing your lovely face tonight." A man with a smooth voice stopped them, and there was no mistaking who it was regardless of the fact that Gaara was eyeing the floor.

Kakashi Hatake.

"Hi there, Kakashi! Sorry, I'm in a bit of a bind right now." Sakura gestured to the pale arms wrapped around her frame. "Gaara isn't adjusting well tonight."

"He's faking it." Kakashi didn't even skip a beat, and it made both of them freeze. Sakura hid her worried expression well, but Gaara could tell that the man in front of him was just as perceptive here as he was back home. "He's doing it to be alone with you for sure. Selfish really, it's a shame we can't be graced with your presence more often."

The redhead felt a little strange about how the older man worded his sentences, suspicious in fact.

"I personally would like to see more of-" Kakashi started, but Gaara was instantly on the defense.

"Back off!" The redhead growled as he shot his head up to truly glare at the man in front of him. However, he was startled at the fact that he didn't wear a mask at all here, and the elder's face was exposed for Gaara to finally see for the first time.

Kakashi was far too handsome, the redhead decided, and he was even more on edge because of that fact.

'Who knew that Sakura's sensei was this attractive? It's insane...'

"Gaara? What has gotten into you? Usually we are on great terms..." Kakashi looked genuinely upset, and for some reason it made Gaara hurt inside his chest.

"Oh Gaara! Shame on you! He's not going to get at me, you silly hound." Sakura fluffed the redhead's wet hair, and he instantly soothed.

"Ah, I see. Getting harassed by the other men here at work, Sakura? I can also be of assistance for that you know..." The elder crossed his arms knowingly, and the doctor almost blushed.

"It's okay, Kakashi. I appreciate what you did last time, but I've got a guard dog that's always barking already. There's no need for two." She gave the man a genuine smile, but it made the redhead more than curious.

'Last time?'

"So I've heard... I had to really manage my men after that little squabble with Tomo. You know, they are beginning to really hate you, Gaara. You had best be careful, there's only so much I can do while I'm here, and I can't be at this facility all the time." Kakashi took a step towards the red head, and made his stance known that he was not a threat to the inmate.

"You're protecting me? Don't make me laugh, your surveillance systems are absolute garbage. You can't even catch the disgusting man sneaking into our rooms at night-" As it came out on reflex he didn't realize what he was saying until it was out in front of him. The bitterness there was real, and he could see the sadness on the face of the man in front of him. It hurt him.

"I'm going through my guys with a fine tooth comb to find the ones responsible, please trust me-"

"They are all responsible." Sakura interjected, and the two men looked at her in surprise. "In fact... this whole place should be restaffed..."

Everything went quiet for a moment, until another strike of lightening killed the power in the building.

"You have got to be kidding me. What awful timing." Kakashi went back into business mode, and cracked his neck. "I'll see you kiddos later, I've got to do a code yellow. I trust you can handle Gaara?"

"Yeah, no worries there." The doctor gave a dismissive wave at him. "Go save the day, 'cheif of security'."

"Yeah yeah. Later." With a wave of his hand he was off down the long hall, covering a lot of ground with his long legs.

Tall, and handsome?

"I hope the 'relationship' between you two is that of just friends." Gaara huffed, and his doctor straightened with offense.

"He's like an older brother!" Sakura furrowed her brows at him, and while part of him felt guilty another felt justified.

"He's quite handsome, and a nice fellow-"

"Well, if you think he's so wonderful why don't you go fuck him?" His doctor spoke apathetically before turning around to continue their trek, leaving the redhead to blink wildly at her suggestion before shaking it off to catch up with her.

'How could she even say something like that?'

"I'm not gay." We're the first words out of his mouth, and as he said it he felt rather stupid for doing so. It made him sound overly defensive. Her slight chuckling only solidified that fact.

"I don't know about that, to be honest I think you might be bisexual. It's nothing to be ashamed of-"

"Sakura, I like women. End of discussion." Now the tone was authorative, and he watched carefully as a shiver went down her spine.

That made him rather intrigued. Sakura was not a submissive person, and for her to react like that could only mean one thing; his authority made her uneasy.

As Gaara walked a bit past her to gauge her face, he realized that he was quite wrong. The gentle blush that tinged her cheeks told him everything that he needed to know. However, he didnt understand how at one moment this woman was dominant, and at others she was submissive. Perhaps it just depended on the day, how trusting she felt, how her physical health was... So many factors could be coming into play here despite the trauma she had experienced in the past.

Yet, if it was dominance she wanted today, he had no qualms of channeling his kage behavior. He supposed that 'secretly' made him submissive, as he played to her needs in able to receive her affections. Maybe it was all just one big ouroborous of sadistic and masochistic behaviors spiralling into the eternity of attempting to satisifying one's needs.

That was a bit too philosophical for him, and he felt that the 'circle of life' concept gave him a headache.

"Here." Sakura tugged gently on his hand while looking both ways. He stayed relatively silent as she opened the door going into her office, and followed her in like a good dog while trusting her to shut the door behind them. She clicked the lock, and he could hear her fumbling with the light switch. "Oh my God, I'm such an idiot. The power is off."

Her laugh could be heard well within the room, and with the darkness setting the mood he felt his skin burning with the need to touch and be touched. Her feminine cherry blossom scent onslaughted his nose as he approached her quickly, and the small gasp she made had his hairs raised on end. He pushed her up against one of the walls he knew so well, as this room was his favorite. His space of refuge.

"Well aren't we energetic tonight?" Sakura wrapped her lithe arms around her patient, and he felt her warmth all down his front as he pressed against her. His senses were heightened from the dark, and he lowered his head to her neck to inhale her perfume deeply, memorizing her scent. "Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to fuck me like you've been wanting to?"

Gaara felt his hairs raise up, and his whole body clench at her words. He breathed hotly against her neck, and thought back on the memory he had of their 'first time' together. They weren't his real memories, but they felt real. He wanted them to be partly real. Just the good parts.

"We were... too young back then..." He felt goosebumps form on his arms as she favored in stroking them with a feather soft touch.

"Mmm, yeah, we were." Sakura traced her hands over his shoulders, and into his hair. "Don't tell me that's your fetish now? I mean, I can get a school uniform, and tie my hair in pigtails-"

"Th-that's not necessary." Gaara blinked at the darkness, and held her waist more for comfort than for pleasure. When she pulled gently at his hair he had to stifle a groan.

"Hmm, I'm not so sure you're telling the truth. I feel you'd make a great teacher, we'll get you some glasses... then when I get detention you can bend me over the desk..." She loosened one of her hands to grab his wrist, guiding his palm over her hip to the inner thigh. He felt his mouth run dry, feeling that all too familiar nervousness envelope him. "I can... give you special favors for a better grade."

"You're already an honor student, so I don't think those favors would be needed to improve your already perfect grade." He snickered remembering that this was actually a true fact, she was a perfect student.

"Well, then I guess I'll have to start doing bad things. Demerits to get your undivided attention." Sakura hiked up her skirt, and if the lights were on she would know how excited it made him. "Are you sure you don't like pigtails? I think they are really innocent, and they are great to hold onto when I'm going down on you."

He shivered at that memory too.

"You already have me at a point of no return, what do you actually want, Sakura?" He nuzzled his nose against her cheek, and she giggled at the sweet contact. Her hands smoothed against his chest, then back up around his neck. Her breathing went tight, and he could hear her audibly gulp while licking her lips.

"I want to feel loved... I want to feel important..." The doctor spoke just above a whisper, and for a moment she sounded almost like a child needing to be cared for. "I don't want to feel damaged anymore. Please don't break me-"

"You know I won't. I wouldn't ever hurt you, at least not on purpose." Gaara wrapped an arm around her waist tightly, and placed the other on the back of her head to cradle it lovingly. "I won't hurt you, unless you ask me to."

Sakura shivered with a whimper while her arms tightened around him. The grip between them was so intense that their muscles were shaking.

"Hurt me sweetly then. Just enough to feel alive-" The doctor dragged her fingernails down his clothed back, making him shake violently like a twitching animal. She licked at his pulse teasingly sending him into a sort of crazed state.

The redhead went blank as he ran on pure instinct. He flipped her around almost violently before pressing her chest uncomfortable against the wall, but his hands were gentle as they creeped up her skirt. Her underwear was a thin lace material, and pushing it aside was an easy task. Her folds were slick, and hot as his fingers found her sensitive nerves. Her body twitched, and moaned for him as he worked, making him so excited that he couldn't help but exhale hotly on the nape of her neck.

"I wish I could be inside you..." Gaara nearly groaned with need, but her answer to his call was to press her backside firmly against his groin as she arched her form sinfully.

"You don't need to ask me, just take what you desire. I wont fight you-" She panted excitedly.

"That's very dangerous of you, Sakura. I'm not a teenager anymore..." The redhead spoke with a dark tone, and leaned in to whisper against the shell of her ear. "I was raised by a demon, and I live with monsters; these are heavy influences. My carnal tastes may have changed."

"Don't threaten unless you plan on following through, I don't want to be dissapointed." The doctor bit back smartly, making his fingers work faster against her as 'punishment'. With a whine, and a curse she rolled her hips languidly as she drank in all of his movements.

No, he wouldn't disappoint. He was going to dive in without a second thought.

Gaara's free hand grabbed at his aching length, pulling it out from beneath the elastic waist band of his patient uniform. The more he rubbed those small circles against her sensitive clit, the further her legs would spread. She was mewling, and pressing her own chest harder against the wall to satisfy whatever ache she gained from them. Her greedy behavior had him salivating at the thought of what he was going to do next. He guided his erection to her entrance, and played it off as if he were going to insert his fingers, but then skillfully slid his length inside her instead.

'Holy...'

Warm, wet, tight, and begging for more of him. To be inside her was an incredible feeling, and to hear her moan ecstatically was music to his ears.

"Gaara!" Her voice grunted with the insertion, surprising and delighting her. Once he was fully inside his arm wrapped back around her waist possessively. He barely rocked his hips before shuddering with intense desire for her.

Her pulsing sheath surrounding him had his head swirling in a heated fog. Even the smallest of movements had his lids fluttering as the pleasurable burn ran through his nerve endings. She felt so good, almost too good to be real. His arm tightened further.

'She's mine. I finally caught her, and she feels so incredible... So small in my arms, reticent, but her body is begging for me in the worst way. You can't lie to me, Sakura-'

"More, please." Sakura pleaded, and while his hand obeyed, his hips could barely move lest he lose himself in the motion. Her little whimper had him holding her so tightly with need. He wanted to thrust, his body screamed at him to do it, but his will to feel her clenching around him first was an experience he didn't want to miss. He wanted this woman begging wantonly on her knees for him to pound into her before he actually did it. He wanted to feel her pulse from the inside.

The redhead barely slid out, and went back in at an agonizingly slow pace. His fingers moved quickly though, and her body attempted to rock against him regardless. He held her waist impossibly hard right as he decided to allow one rough thrust. She cried out loudly, cursing in the tone of a needy whine before rolling her hips with abandon. Her body wanted him to keep going, but he wanted her to scream first.

"Gaara, please!" Like an animal in heat, she moved against him in the hope of finishing. As if her whining, and rocking him around inside her was going to get him to bend to her will. It was war, and he wasn't going to lose. His hand grew vigorous with impatience, and the firmness of which he massaged her sensitive nub would have probably hurt her if she wasn't already so aroused. However, her slick folds allowed him to do just that, and she cried out his name harshly.

"Yes... just like that..." Gaara purred before making a steady pace of sliding in and out of her. It wasn't quick by any means, but it had her knees weakening all the same. The wet noise that came from pumping into her had him buzzing along with her cries. She was starting to get loud, and even though the storm outside was enough to hide them he removed his hand from her waist to hold over her mouth to keep her contained.

With a few more hard thrusts, and firm rubbing she finally started to scream against his hand. Her walls around his length tensed, and pulsed like a wave. It was fast at first, but settled into steady hard contractions that felt like they were trying to get him to climax. Almost in answer he kept thrusting, making her knees weaken to the point of failing. Her form started to drag down the wall to the floor, but he was diligent in pounding against her even as she started to go limp.

He could feel saliva on his hand from her open crying mouth as he spared her no mercy with his working fingers. With a continuously firm touch he mindlessly continued the onslaught, and as he felt her contract for another orgasm he knew his own was right around the corner.

With another scream her heat started to drip onto the floorboards as he pounded her hard, hands abandoning her folds and mouth to grab at her hips; he slammed himself almost painfully against her in a bittersweet repetition. His breathing erratic, and moans escaping from him in growing volume, he finally felt the white hotness of orgasm crash onto him mercilessly. He went to pull out, but she grabbed the fabric of his pants to pull him back in. Losing all sense of logic, he continued to thrust into her even as his seed left him in intensely pleasurable pulses. He cried out, and panted until he had nothing left to give.

"Fuck!" He whined rather embarrassingly, but his world was spinning so far off its axis he rightly did not care. Her heat was still pulsing around him, milking him for every last drop. With a relieved groan he smoothed his hands along her hips.

It was perfect.

Everything finally slowed, and that familiar wash of peace came over him. Yet the dripping beneath them had him slightly unnerved.

He had came inside her, that was certain, but it felt so incredible that his whole body was still trembling from it. It was so intense.

However, the question was starting arise even in his foggy state.

'What happens now?'

Gaara pulled away from her in a daze, wondering just how far this was going now. Was she going to be-

"You look so freaked." Sakura scoffed at him making his eyes quickly focus on her. She had turned to sit against the wall now, her grin growing bigger by the second. "I thought you wanted to be a father?"

Her grin turned smug, and all he could do was gawk at her.

"Eventually, yes, but not while I'm stuck in a mental ward-!" He snapped with panic, but she quickly shushed him.

"Calm down, you're safe. I'm on birth control, you goon." The doctor snorted slightly before breaking out into a fit of giggles. "You should see your face!"

The redhead stared more in disbelief finding the prank to be a rather cruel one. However, Sakura was a rather twisted person here.

"Yes, I'm glad my discomfort brings you great pleasure-"

"It really does." Her tone grew serious, and she slunk over to him almost like a cat. He blinked at her in shock over her admission. "I kind of... want to pull your hair really hard. Maybe tear open your skin with my teeth."

He felt his blood run both hot, and cold.

"Sakura, I'm not in the mood for games like that." Gaara warned, but she crawled over him regardless. He tried to scoot away from her, but ended up backing up against the small couch she had in the room. With nowhere to go she saddled him up like a prized pony.

"Let me hurt you just a little bit..." Sakura purred before snatching a fistful of his red locks, pulling his head back hard with a devious laugh. The pain wasn't excrutiating, but it had him growling in discomfort. "There you are... I was wondering when you'd come play with me..."

"What the fuck are you on about?!" The redhead thrashed a bit, making her claw at his scalp with glee.

"The animal covered in the blood of his enemies, taking his prize without reservations..." The doctor rocked her hips hard against his own making him grunt at the oversensitivity. "Do you remember? When you saved me... and then claimed that I belonged to you? I think about that day all the time... I remember the blood. I remember how fucking pissed you were. How heartbroken..."

Her fingers traced over his clothes chest with a sigh of longing, and the crazed look in her eyes almost had him scared.

"You were so merciless back then-"

"I dont remember." Gaara pressed urgently, as something was warning him against the memory his mind was trying to find.

"You had never fucked me as hard as you did that day... no one has ever compared to it-"

"I said I don't remember!" He shouted defensively causing her to yank his hair painfully. Her smile had faded into a far away look, a thousand yard stare.

"Don't bark at me. I don't like it when you snarl like wolf. It's frightening when you do it since I've seen what you can do. It's why you're in here, you know?" The distant look turned back into a focused one, and a scoff quickly lept out of her. "I'm so fucked up, to think that I get off on the thought of you killing someone... yet I never want to see it again."

Suddenly his brain halted all of its functions, and he felt a strange lurch in his stomach. He was doing to be sick, but why?

'I really... did kill someone here... but who-?'

Her fingers traced his pale sweating face as they detached from his hair. She seemed worried now.

"Ah, there's the child. You look scared-"

"S-stop. I'm going to be sick..." His body broke out into a cold sweat. Lightening flashed wickedly outside the windows as a hard sheet of rain started to bang against the glass. In his distraction, he felt something pinch in his neck.

A syringe.

"Damnit...Sakura..." Gaara began to fade, but the sickness from before was also deciding to leave him. She grabbed his face in her hands, and kissed him longingly.

As if she were saying goodbye...

"I wont believe that you love me until you remember that day, see if you still love me after it returns to you." Her face started to blur, and not just because of the drugs.

He was crying.

"This is your test. Don't come back until you remember everything."

'I don't want to... remember...'

Before his world faded to black, he had one last image to remember.

She was crying too.

 **AN: Welp! Just when you think it gets good BAM! It gets bad again! Cest la vie though. Hopefully more soon, been in a weird writing phase to where my only interest was Yu Yu Hakusho, and then a little Vergil from Devil May Cry (not the ninja reboot, we dont mention that game in my house X'D ) lololol, so I have all this porn and no audience for it! Rofl! I'm so selfish! Love you guys!**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Hello everyone! Just want to warn you that this chapter is pretty bad. And by bad I mean there is a lot of stuff on essentially forced prostitution, rape, extreme homophobia, extreme domestic violence, etc. In short this one can get pretty triggery so this warning is legitimate.**

 **Also there is some smut for you straight out the gate, enjoy that ;)**

How many times was she going to do this to him?

Her lithe body shook in his arms as he thrusted into her heated center, her barely contained mewls had his skin crawling as he drew closer to the edge.

This dark corner under the stairs was their sanctuary. Everyone was either gone, or in some sort of after school club, so their carnal activities went undisturbed for hours until they could see the sun start to set in the high upper windows.

Gaara breathed harshly before scraping his teeth along her neck, her legs wrapping tightly around him as he moved into her with force. Her sweet voice grew louder again, for the third time now, and he held his hand once more over her whining mouth.

Sakura shuddered as she tensed around him, causing him to climax almost immediately as her own orgasm tightened her walls to a near painful degree. He growled this time, shuddering as the electricity flowed through his already painfully raw nerves. Pang after pang of white heat surfed through blood that warmed his already burning flesh. Sweat ran down his face to cool him desperately, and his partner's huffing laughs let him know exactly what she thought of his physical reactions.

This perfect creature, was giggling with just as much pain and pleasure as he felt in that moment. She was laughing out from empathy.

"Heheee... you act so tough... but you're shaking like a freshly born deer." The girl gave an amused grin before thumbing away some of the sweat from his naked brow. It was nurturing to the point that it made his scalp tingle.

"Says the girl who wails like a kitten-" He snickered.

"Hey! I only do it for you, ya know? I never get there with anyone else." Sakura pulled his face to hers for a kiss, but after her comment he almost felt like pulling away.

"I don't like hearing about it." The redhead pouted slightly before she forced a few more kisses on him.

"You're the only person I can talk to, so you're going to hear about it. You just get the added bonus of fucking me too-"

"I don't 'fuck', I make love. There is a difference." Gaara shoved his face into the crook of her neck, all the while holding her tightly like a favorite teddy bear.

'Always so childish...' He winced at his strangely innocent behaviors with her. He enjoyed the sex, of course, but he actually enjoyed the cuddling more. He never got the pleasure of being loved in that way, so being held by her was a blessing.

The redhead was the only one she held like that. That fact was a promise from her, since she honestly wasn't allowed to keep her body to herself.

Sakura had been forced from just being attacked by her step father, to being attacked by many men. It was disgusting to think about, as it was forced prostitution.

Unfortunately she couldn't go to the police for many reasons. Her step father claimed he would kill her mother, kill Sakura herself, or find who ever she truly cared for to kill them too. Not to mention that all forms of prostitution in this area were illegal. If caught, even with her being forced into it, she could spend years in prison regardless of her age.

She was stuck, and he was the only one who could be there for her physically, and mentally. So much so that they had kept their union a secret for years.

Gaara would be eighteen soon, and once he was out he was going to take her with him. Years of abuse and waiting could finally be washed clean by their mutual love and understanding for each other. They could finally find peace.

"Gaara, will you always love me? Even if I turn into a crazy person?" Sakura ran her fingers through his hair, disrupting his thoughts. He gave a small laugh, and a half smile that seemed to make her tremble inside.

"Well, at least the sex won't get boring-" He chortled while she smacked his shoulders.

"Gaara! I'm serious!" She whined like a spoiled child, and as irritating as that could be he still seemed to find it attractive.

"I will love you always. In fact, I am very excited to elope with you. If that's still in the books of course." Gaara's grin was wide on his pale face. His giddiness over how much he loved her showed, and she followed with a shy smile of her own.

"Yeah. It's a promise." Sakura giggled contentedly.

As the sun began to set they cleaned up, and gathered their things to head home. They always took a hidden nature path to get to their respective homes, but his hand was enclosed with hers until the very bitter end where they would split in the fork on the trail. The looks they gave each other were always mournful as they left heaven to head to their own separate hells.

Gaara's life hadn't turned out much better. Rasa was still verbally abusive, but it took a great deal of alcohol to get him to beat his son. The reason being was that Gaara was older now, and that made the fighting not very easy for the older man when the redhead would get a wild hair to hit back. The beatings went from once a day to maybe once a month, and Gaara would almost always fight back. They had come to a... mutual understanding about it. Perhaps Rasa even respected him a bit more.

As Gaara entered the front door he found his father smoking on the couch with the telephone against his ear. He motioned with his eyes for the redhead to come sit in the chair opposite of him. It gave Gaara a bad feeling, but he did it regardless.

After several 'mmhmm's, and a 'yes', 'sure', 'not a bad idea' before a couple approving curses Rasa finally hung up the phone with a small suspicious chuckle. He looked to his son with mirth before resting his chin behind his hand.

"Gaara, you and I are going to run an errand." His eyes darted along the young man's frame, and it made the redhead immediately on edge. "You're going to do a little job for me."

"Depends on the job-"

"You will get no say. You are my child, you will obey." Rasa was firm with his voice, and sadly it still instilled a psychological fear in his son. He knew this far too well. "You're not legal, but you're a man all the same. I'm sure you have 'needs'."

Gaara felt his stomach drop, and his face suddenly started to pale to a more sickly color than his usual pallor.

"I'm not going to whore myself out." The redhead attempted a glare despite his initial fear, but his father began to laugh hysterically at the comment.

"Fuck no! You wouldn't attract a single customer with a mug like that!" The older man wheezed with mirth over the thought, and it stung the redhead with bitterness and offense.

'Goes to show you, I have a gorgeous girlfriend who let's me have sex with her almost every day...'

"My buddy has need of you though. Apparently his daughter isn't doing so well, he thinks a nice teenage boy could be good for her. You have a gentle heart, you could probably ease her nerves." Rasa smirked at his son deviously. Obviously helping this girl requires more than just 'talking it out'. "We're heading over in twenty minutes, go wash up and meet me back here. Don't dress like a punk, and be prompt."

After Rasa deemed the conversation over, he lit a cigarette before swatting away at his son's presence. The redhead sighed, and went about doing as he was told. He washed up quickly, gave himself a misting of whatever sporty fragrance he had on hand, and then dressed himself a black dress shirt and plain jeans. He rolled up his sleeves as he headed back up the stairs from the basement, only to find his father waiting at the top with crossed arms. Gaara felt his hairs raise up in alert at the man's towering presence.

"About damn time, you are three minutes past due." Rasa scolded, and his son reluctantly went to stand at his side.

"I apologize. I didn't mean to be late-"

"Well, let's fucking go then. My friend isn't one to wait long. He's an impatient bastard." The older man took a long drag of his cigarette before waving his son to follow him. With his hands shoved securely in his pockets, the redhead looked to the ground while following obediently.

Gaara hated sitting up front in the car, regardless of how nice it was. His father had a taste for old muscle cars, and the old 80's firebird they sat in rode low and loud. The redhead appreciated the shiny black vehicle, there was no doubt about it, but he despised the close proximity he had to endure with his 'sperm donor'.

Luckily the car ride was only a few minutes. They pulled up to rather bland house hidden up a hill in a blanket of trees. The house was cookie cutter, but the land was rich with life. Nice, and tucked away.

A man with moppy, dishwater blonde hair approached the vehicle. He was younger than Rasa, but still middle aged. Perhaps mid to late thirties. He wore a button up t-shirt, and cargo pants with ugly sandals. He wasn't a very stylish man, and his face was the kind you'd see in a back alley. Sly, and suspicious. He approached the vehicle with smirk while his father turned off the engine.

"Sabaku!" His rough voice resounded as they stepped out of the vehicle, Gaara was quick and efficient about it. Last time he dallied it had him getting an open palm slap right on the ear. He couldn't hear for almost three days after that.

"Tanaka, good to see you my friend." Rasa patted the ugly man's shoulder in a friendly way.

The redhead waited patiently as they seemed to bullshit in their own slang usage. Something about drug trafficking and the police...

"This the little shit you were talking about?" Suddenly the man Tanaka was in his face. The teen jolted as his chin was roughly grabbed, and his features examined. "He's kinda weird lookin'. Not ugly, but kind of exotic-"

"I hope he'll perform right, he's nothing like Kankuro. My other son isn't necessarily the cleanest of people though, god knows how many women he has slept with. However, at least I know he'll be good on that front."

That comment had Gaara pale once more that day. His eyes went large and fearful while his imagination ran wild. Were they going to force him to sleep with this girl? What merit would that even hold?

"Yeah, I think he'll figure it out. It's funny, he's 'prettier' than the other guys my little girl has had to deal with, I'm sure he'll be an absolute treat. I bet I can fit this in as an early birthday present for her."

'Ah, another prostitution ring. Fantastic.' The redhead eyed the ground almost mournfully, his father hissed for him to follow and he obeyed like he always had.

Gaara didn't pay attention to the inside of the house, or the pictures on the walls. He merely stared at the floor in a daze wondering what he was going to have to do here. He sat down next to his father at a basic round wooden table, and stared hard at his lap. What was he going to do?

"Where is that girl?! HEY, BRAT! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!" Tanaka yelled in a threatening tone that Gaara knew well from his own father, and in reaction he scooted further towards the wall behind him just to feel secure.

"Stop acting like a fucking coward." Rasa hissed under his breath, making the redhead feel thoroughly cornered.

He hated this. He just wanted to lea-

"I'm sorry, daddy. I didn't mean to keep you-" A familiar bell like tone filled the air, and the redhead had never whipped his head so fast. His eyes stared hard on her in disbelief; all of his emotion was showing, and he couldn't stop it. The windows to his soul were clear for everyone to see.

Sakura mirrored him exactly.

"The fuck? Do you know this kid?" Tanaka spat venomously, and the pinkette jumped at his tone.

Rasa, on the other hand, remained strangely silent as well as suspiciously intrigued.

"Ah! Yes! We take... science and history together at school..." Sakura started to shake nervously, and stared hard at the ground with widened eyes.

Rasa looked between the two of them with a smirk.

"Heh. It's rather fortuitous then. Now you don't have to even introduce yourselves." The father looked to his son curiously, and Gaara was immediately on edge. His hairs stood on end, and he felt sweat form on his temples. "You seem to fancy her, I'm sure you don't regret coming here now."

"She's not my type." The redhead bit defensively, but it only served to interest his father more.

"You better make her your type, and fast." Rasa spoke sternly, but it was more calm than anything.

Tanaka motioned for his 'daughter' to come sit with them, and as if on auto-pilot she obeyed. Her emotionless face went to walk by the sly man, but his knobby fingers shot out to grab her firmly by the forearm. Gaara had felt an interesting wave of rage bubbling under the surface of his skin at the way this man made contact with her.

"Put a fucking smile on your face, and entertain our guests." The blonde hissed at her, and she rolled with the punches like it were some sort of routine. The redhead didn't know if he could keep his composure for much longer.

"Yes, daddy." She forced a small smile, and made her way over to her two house guests. She smiled with a bow towards Rasa, and then proceeded to take a seat on Gaara's lap.

He froze, and the fear was written strongly on his features.

"I swear to god, boy, if you keep acting like a fucking cold fish I will make it so you can't go to school for a week." The veins in Rasa's arms started to bulge angrily, forcing the redhead to wrap a nervous arm around her waist. She remained apathetic, yet still smiled at the same time. Sakura was a truly incredible actress.

However, he refused to make eye contact. He couldn't risk getting them found out. This was such a delicate thing, he couldn't show his familiarity with her.

"Ha! He's so nervous! Look at him! You sure he's not fucking gay?" Tanaka cracked open a beer, and took a long swig. Gaara eyed his father for a moment before looking back to the floor awkwardly. Perhaps if he believed his son was a homosexual he wouldn't tie the tension between the two teens together. He wouldn't figure out how much Gaara truly loved her.

"If he's one of those disgusting faggots I'll shoot him dead. He knows that crap doesn't fly in our family." The redhead then recieved a firm grip on the shoulder with a quick shake. "He's just never had a taste, he's too ugly and weird to get a girl into bed. That's another reason why we are doing this trade, I can't have one of my children going through life accused of being some disgusting fag. It'll tarnish my name."

'He lied to me...' The teen felt a sting from the many insults, and horrific behaviors his father displayed. He played on his weakness for wanting to help out, and instead it was just a ploy to get him to sleep with a girl so that the 'family name' was in the clear. It all made him sick to his stomach.

Gaara felt Sakura's thighs tense on top of his own, and he knew then that she was holding back some form of rage. It almost made him smirk. Almost.

"Well at least he's not diseased. Hey, brat, go take him upstairs with you. I've got business to discuss with Sabaku." Tanaka ordered while snapping his fingers impatiently at her. With a quick bow she grabbed the redhead by the arm to tug him along with her. It was rough, and urgent. He nearly stumbled along with her until her stepfather's voice bellowed at them. "Don't string him along like a fucking ass! You should know how virgins are, quit acting like a horned up slut!"

Sakura froze, and a blush slowly formed on her face. Yet her features started to twist like she was going to start crying.

Gaara made a brash decision, and it might be one he would regret later.

"Hey... it's okay. I don't mind..." he whispered while his hand found hers to rub his thumb over the top of her knuckles. She seemed to instantly soothe, but quickly put on a stoney face.

"PUT A FUCKING SMILE ON!" Tanaka screamed at her, and they both jumped at the loud sound. Her smile was forced on her face, and they began to trek carefully to the stairs by the front door. As they passed the door he thought about them making a run for it, and leaving everything behind. Yet her grip on him was strong as she tugged him along up the stairs to the first door on the right.

As they entered her room, he chose to stop and really look around. His eyes wandered over the butterflies, flowers, and pink frills that were much to young for her. He wondered if she was allowed to change anything, or if the room was one of her stepdad's choosing.

The door clicked softly, but he knew the sound well enough to turn around and check on her. At first she wore a fake smile, but it quickly morphed into something utterly horrified. She started to hyperventilate like she always did whenever the stress was too much. Tears ran in a continuous stream down her face as she quickly covered herself. It were as if she were ashamed.

"You weren't...supposed...to see...this!" Sakura heaved almost violently, the sound forcing him to move quickly on his stubborn feet. His arms immediately snatched her to pull her bruisingly tight to his chest, and she wailed against him like a child coming home to their mother with a fresh wound. He could feel her finally relax as she sobbed against him, but his body only tightened more. It tightened with pain, helplessness, and pure rage.

No more. He didn't want to see her hurt any longer, he would rather die than have her experience such turmoil ever again. This precious shaking girl was too weak to fight for herself, too psychologically broken to make the first move to freedom. He would make it for her. She was his muse, his epiphany, his enlightenment. Seeing her in her own home treated the way she had always described was too much. He wanted to feel that man's bones under his hands as he crushed every vertebra in his neck. The beautiful click, crunching, and cracking signaling a sickly painful death sounded like a magnificent symphony. Watching the bloodshot eyes bulge out of Tanaka's skull as he fought to breathe-

"Gaara, please!" The girl grimaced in his arms, and he realized then that he was squeezing too tightly. He jumped back as if touching her burned.

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Gaara reached out cautiously to touch her ribs, and although she trembled she never turned away.

"I'm fine, just a little spooked." Sakura gave him a withered smile. It was painful to watch her try to live in the environment. "Are you mad at me-?"

"No. Absolutely not. You are just trying to survive, and I understand that completely." He reached out desperately for her hand, and she practically gave him her palm to hold. "I will save you. I will-"

"Don't you dare! I only have to deal with one more year! Then it will be over." Her other hand came up to grab his eagerly. "Just one more year-"

"No! We are leaving as soon as possible!" Gaara tugged on her arms to lead her to the door, but she yanked back hard with eyes filled to the brim with fear.

"I already tried running away, remember? We won't win, we will only get hurt once they catch up to us." She looked around herself nervously avoiding eye contact with him. "Your father... he'll find us too..."

That thought hit him like a ton of bricks, it made him understand the exact fear she felt was the same as his own for Rasa. Years of damage conditioning them to stay with their abusers.

Yet, Gaara could fight back. He had the physical strength to take them down. If he could just find a way to do it discreetly, then they could escape with enough time to cover their trail.

"Gaara, we have to wait. I've already dealt with it this long, it's not that bad-"

"You're fucking insane. Not that bad!? Are you kidding me, Sakura?! You are being forced into prostitution!" Tears threatened to escape him, blurring his vision of her as he locked eyes with her beautiful jade orbs. As he blinked out the tears, he could see the eye bags, the strangely pale features, hair starting to snarl, and weakened form.

His beautiful flower was withering. She would die if he let her take another year of abuse. Yet, he knew he wouldn't be able to convince her.

He'd have to handle it, somehow. He would take care of it. Take care of her.

"Am I disgusting to you-?"

The teen blinked as the air in the room changed. He had stayed bitter and silent for far too long, and it had made her start to think poorly of herself. As if everything on this planet was her fault when it was the exact opposite. Sakura deserved the world, but the world deserved to die for its transgressions against her. She needed to know that.

"No. You could be tainted beyond recognition, and I would still love you." Gaara brushed some hair away from her eyes, and just like him she blinked out a few tears. "I love you now, and I'll continue to love you even after I'm dead."

She inhaled deeply as he pulled at the most important strings on her heart.

"You too. I feel the same for you too!" Sakura threw herself back into his arms, and he didn't waste the moment. He held her with every ounce of admiration in his heart, praying that she could feel it through his actions. His form molded over her own protectively, and he nuzzled her hair while breathing in deeply.

Suddenly her hands were on his belt, and as sick as it was he didn't reject her. He wanted her to know that he still desired her even after Tanaka's disgusting perverted friends had their way with her. She would never be filthy to him. Never.

Things went quickly, so fast that clothes weren't even removed with the exception of her pants and underwear. She was left in nothing but an oversized sweatshirt, and he finally recognized it as the one he gave her so long ago. She smiled giddily at him, showing that she understood how he felt.

His mouth was on hers again while they crawled onto her bed, wasting no time at all as he adjusted himself out of his jeans to place at her entrance. She leaned up from her position underneath him to meet him for a deep kiss, he took that moment to enter her just to relish in her gasping against his lips.

"Gaara...I love you..." Sakura mewled while he ground into her. The redhead felt a shiver go down his spine as he nodded in return.

"I love you too." Gaara smiled.

They continued to move as one, and she was pushed through an orgasm or two all the while whining his name. He was glad he could provide her with something positive in this place of torment, like she had done for him such a long time ago in those days at the park. Those days lost in the cold rain.

Although rushed, the sex was still personal and oddly romantic. He felt like they were their own strangely twisted form of Romeo and Juliet, and that no circumstance could ever come between them to stop their love for each other. As cliche as it was, it felt right to find his relationship with her to be the hopelessly tragic romance. She knew it too. She could feel his devotion in their touches, kisses, affirmations, and sighs. Gaara loved her more than anything on this planet. She was the very air he breathed. The feeling of sun warming him from all sides.

Perfection.

When he finally climaxed he gave a relieved groan before resting his head against her heaving chest. Her fingers digging lightly into whatever part of him they could grasp. His world spun slightly as he felt himself slip into a dreamy state.

"I'm going to marry you." He blurted happily, making her burst out into a fit of true laughter that he could hear so clearly against her breast.

"I know you will." Sakura began raking her fingers through his crimson hair as they both relaxed in each others company. Glowing in another one of their perfect moments.

The moon filtered through her sheer pink curtains, giving a strangely pinkish purple tone to the room. Everything was so delicate, soft, gentle, and nurturing. Sakura especially radiated these things, and the lavender light across her lovely feminine features would forever be seered into his brain.

Gaara loved her so much... his precious Sakura...

"Gaara! I hope you've finished your business, let's go!" Rasa's voice made both of them nearly jump out of their skin as the man rudely opened the door. His eyes darted between the two teens curiously before finally settling on his son with mirth. "Huh. I didn't think you'd actually go through with it. I thought the 'commotion' was staged."

Gaara quickly adjusted himself, and he did so in almost a angered fashion. Sakura merely pulled her sweatshirt back down to cover herself, and even that added to the redhead's bitterness. His father seemed interested in the teen's sudden rage.

"Tanaka is going to be upset when I tell him you actually made this girl scream like that-"

"Don't bother, she was probably faking. I'm sure that just tickles you pink." The redhead huffed, but Rasa seemed thoroughly amused.

"Funny, out of all the times I've been here to witness it she's never faked like that for anyone else-"

'What? He hangs around here while she takes clients-?!' His eyes started to widen at the idea of his father listening in on Sakura with other men, and he felt a sickness begin to form.

"I apologize, Mr. Sabaku, but Gaara is still a client... if you could perhaps hold this conversation later I would greatly appreciate it." Sakura bowed her head respectfully, although Gaara knew it was out of line for her, a 'prostitute', to speak against the matter.

What shocked him though was how his father responded with the softest of smiles.

"You know I prefer when you call me Rasa. Mr. Sabaku was the name of my father, and I'd like to think that I've known you for longer than just a last name basis." His smile was warm, it was the most foreign thing Gaara had ever seen on his own father's face. Sakura also seemed on edge by it. "Did you enjoy my boy?"

The redhead felt his heart plummet into his stomach, worried over what type of answer she would give him.

"Be honest now, did you enjoy my son's company?" Rasa was bit firmer this time, and the tone demanded respect. Sakura shifted in her seat, but finally nodded quickly.

"I did, sir."

Gaara was going to be sick, it was all over. He had to have found out by now that they were-

"Thank you for answering honestly. Perhaps I will bring him over for you again, I'm sure you would prefer him to the older men." His father leaned casually in the doorway now, it were as if he had just won a great battle, but the redhead didn't know just what battle it was for. "Would you like me to do that for you?"

"Yes, sir. I would like that." Sakura had answered quickly, and mechanically, but it still left the elder Sabaku grinning. It made the redhead's stomach lurch with panic.

"Well then, consider it done. Hurry up, Gaara. My business here is done today. I expect you to be ready, and downstairs in five." Although his voice sounded calm, there was an authority there that one could not ignore. It had Gaara's anxiety heightened to what he could consider a mild panic attack, but what truly pushed him over that final precipice was that man's smile as he left.

Why was he so smug? This proved nothing! There was no evidence against them besides this one singular supervised meeting.

The redhead left just as carefully as he arrived, but not before whispering one last affirmation Sakura's way before taking off. She seemed grateful that he had come.

\- ... - ... -

Unfortunately, when Gaara got home he was so nauseated that he literally ran inside barely making it to the kitchen sink. His father walked in slowly behind him, he could barely hear the man huffing angrily behind him as he lurched against the stainless steel.

"You fucking faggot. You can't even handle one night with a woman!" Rasa went from growl to a full feral snap. Gaara felt his father's fingers grasp at his skull to press his temple hard against the metal sink. "You just have to be everything I fucking hate! Disgusting-!"

Enough. This was enough. The final stick had finally broken, and all that was left was to watch the dam break.

"...ck... you... not...gay..." The redhead mumbled out as spit slid from his mouth and nose. Rasa surprisingly stopped to listen.

"What did you just say?" His tone was in warning, but Gaara was done. His patience with this man had reached its end for today.

"Fuck...you...I'm...not...gay..." The redhead spat angrily into the sink as his whole body tensed with rage, but his father's fingers pressed harder onto his now tender skull.

"Ha! Just cause you got your dick wet doesn't mean you can act like a little shit-!" Rasa lifted up his son's skull before slamming it back down onto the sink forcing out a few starbursts of color behind Gaara's darkened lids. Rasa did this a few times until it broke Gaara's skin along his brow. The blood got into one of his eyes, blinding him as he grunted with the onslaught of pulsing pain, and bursts of fantastical colors that stung his eye sockets.

His hands started to grab for literally anything, and thankfully there was an old beer bottle in the sink. He managed to snatch it before smashing it on the side of the sink, making an instantly sharp weapon. The second the sound of broken glass reached his father's ears the man pulled the teen by his shirt to throw him to the tiled floor. Regardless of hitting the back of his head on the tiles, the broken bottle was still held out strongly in his hand out of pure instinct to fight.

Blind in one eye, losing a good deal of blood from his face, and bits of broken glass embedded in his hand you think he would look rather fragile, but he was snarling like a wolf with his lips pulled back to show his naturally sharp canines. Rasa paused with his closed fist, it was held up ready to strike, but the man seemed put off by what he was looking at. In fact he looked downright shaken by the sight of his own son.

"Throw your punch! Do it!" Gaara heaved his words, but they struck his father as if he were a brick wall. "HIT ME!"

Recieving his 'wish', the redhead barely had time to register the feint attack from his father. The man's left fist went in to strike, and just as Gaara lunged towards the fist with his broken bottle Rasa threw his right hook at the teen's already injured left eye. The bottle dropped from his hand, and the moment he was unarmed was the moment that he felt his face being repetitively being beaten.

"You may look like Karura, but you are nothing like her!" Rasa yelled with the onslaught of closed fists. "She should have aborted you! I wanted her to do it! She died because of your fucking parasitic existence!"

'Mother... why now? Why her?...why me...?'

With each strike Gaara felt his conciousness slipping. At this point he was begining to go deaf; his ears were ringing, sight was blurred, and the pain was shocking his whole body into a state of numbness. Warm liquid was dripping down, and he didn't know if it was blood or tears, but just as he felt his world start to grow dark an angel with blonde hair appeared behind his demonic father. With her strong arms she desperately shoved Rasa aside with a shout that the teen couldn't hear. At first he feared that she may get hurt, but another figure quickly came to her aid. The two men where fighting each other, and it looked like Rasa was actually losing.

"Gaara. Honey, it's okay. You're okay... it's not that bad..." He could hear her now, but her voice was distorted by her shaking sobs. She had left to get a rag, and quickly came back to dab the wet cloth at his face. Every so often after dabbing at a wound she'd break out into a fresh set of tears.

Gaara felt bad for making her cry like that, and far as he knew there were only two women who would cry for him like that.

One he had known well, but had never had the pleasure of meeting in person.

"I'm sorry...mom..." The redhead croaked as she placed his head in her lap. At the sound of his apology she broke out in another fit of tears. He seemed to have hurt her more with his words, and he didn't know how to fix it.

"No, Gaara, I'm the one...who should be apologizing-"

"Temari... we gotta take him to the hospital. He's going to need stitches this time." Kankuro's voice was clear, and it was made aware to the teen that the woman who had saved him was his older sister, and not the ghost of his mother.

Temari and Kankuro had never made an effort for him like this before. Well, they had tried once or twice to help him, but after getting a few lashes of their own from Rasa they eventually left him to the wolf. He didn't blame them, but it had left him bitter.

However, now Temari was cradling him, and crying over his current state. He surmised that he must be rather mangled if she was sobbing that harshly.

It was Kankuro who had scooped him up like a rag doll, his older brother had gained more muscle than Gaara could ever hope to grow into. Perhaps if he lived through this he might get the chance to mature more...

"Gaara, stay awake bud!" A light shaking had him jolting slightly, finding himself in someones car.

Gaara watched silently out the window as the street lights on the freeway whooshed past. As if they were counting down to something, he felt himself drifting away, regardless of what anyone else had planned for him.

Finally, he could rest.

 **AN: OOF THIS CHAPTER FREAKING SUCKED TO WRITE! It's awkward... the whole time... and i fucking hate cringy things but everything in here made me totally uncomfortable, but you know sometimes you just have to write some disgusting things in able to really make the story good. Disgusting is realism, or at least that's what i believe. Anyways, hope you enjoyed that, I dont even have the next chapter started so we'll see what happens.**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Hey guys! I'm back! Also WARNING, graphic sexual scenarios once again. Also a bit of poetry that's not mine, it belongs to Edgar Allen Poe. Enjoy!**

His head was throbbing something awful, and as he looked around the redhead could only find white walls.

Was he in a hospital-?

"Gaara!" The pinkette had hurried over to him the second he had stirred. She looked older somehow-

Ah, this wasn't a memory anymore. He was back in the asylum. His heart sank at that thought, and he felt a sense of bitterness as she went to look him over worriedly.

"Don't touch me!" Gaara slapped her hand away, and she genuinely looked surprised. She quickly shook herself out of it to grab him firmly by the shoulders.

"You have to wake up. This isn't real!" Sakura shouted at him while shaking his bound up form. His eyes tried focusing further on her, noticing how her outfit consisted of a red dress and black leggings...

It was the other Sakura... the one from his realm.

"It can't be... how are you here-?!" The redhead furrowed his brows in confusion, but just as she was about to speak the door opened.

It was a real trip watching two Sakura's inhabit the same room, and surprisingly only one pinkette realized that the other was there.

"Good morning, you sound surprisingly active today." The doctor smiled as she waltzed in, walking straight past the other stunned Sakura.

He already felt dizzy just thinking about it.

"Is that... me?" The ninja blinked in disbelief while taking careful steps off to the side. She seemed to be surprised that her mirror image did not give her even the slightest attention, yet was also so very cautious in the other Sakura's presence.

Gaara decided not to answer her, but instead merely nodded. He knew what it would look like if he started talking to her in front of the doctor.

"So... did you remember anything?" The beautiful doctor sat down next to him on the bed, running her fingers longingly over the straps of his straitjacket. He wondered why he was stuck in the contraption again, it had him distraught.

"...Not much. My father brought me to see you, and then he beat me half to death when we got home. That's all." His eyes were stuck on the ninja at the foot of his bed, her eyes darting between the doctor and patient curiously.

A pit formed in his stomach, realizing quickly that this was no longer his own experience. Now it was hers too.

"So you still don't know. That's upsetting." The pinkette sighed while her hand dragged across his cheek lovingly. The other Sakura widened her eyes at the display, and he prayed that nothing else would happen. "I was hoping you would remember what happened... but perhaps I'll have to refresh your memory again-"

"Not necessary, I'll remember soon." Gaara avoided everyone's eyes as he stared at his bedding. He shifted slightly in the jacket, hoping his doctor would get the gesture and let him loose.

"Really? You've never turned me down before-"

"Well I'm not too keen on getting shot up again. You know how I feel about the sedatives." The redhead snipped bitterly, still refusing to look up. He didn't want the kunoichi to see him like this, and he had never thought it possible before.

But now... now he was so vulnerable.

"Don't be like that... you know I'm fragile... I don't handle rejection well." When her hand dragged across his lap he practically jolted out of his skin. Jumping back he moved himself up against the wall, and both Sakuras seemed to be curious over his behavior. "Hey, I'm sorry for going a bit off the deep end. What we did last night... it just brought back a lot of memories-"

"D-don't... please. I don't really want to do this right now-"

He could see it on the ninja's face. That look of suspicion crossing her features.

'No... no no no-'

"Why are you being like this?! Am I suddenly hideous to you-?!" The doctor shouted, getting his attention back on her instantly.

"No! I'm just... conflicted is all..." Gaara closed his eyes, and tried wishing for everything to disappear. The weight on his bed changed as someone crawled over him, and his breath hitched as he felt delicate hands on his cheeks. "Sakura... please... I need some time-"

"I'm going to fix it. I promise I'll fix this..." She whispered, and his eyes opened just in time for him to realize she was leaning in. He couldn't move his face due to her grip, so all he could do was sit there while she went in for a passionate kiss. His face paled. He knew the other Sakura was watching this all take place, probably judging him severely. He tried not kissing back, and when the doctor grew frustrated with his coldness she pulled away with a frown.

"Why? Was it really that bad?" The pinkette cried while she straddled his lap, his eyes darting over to the other to gauge her reaction.

She seemed completely emotionless.

"No... it was wonderful... I just don't appreciate being drugged like that-"

"I told you that I would fix it! So let me fucking fix it!" With tears running down her face she went in to kiss him again, but he turned his face away from her just in the knick of time. With a growl she attacked his neck, and unfortunately he groaned as she hit his more sensitive spots. His eyes locked onto the ninja apologetically, and while she frowned she still didn't leave the room.

'God no, is she going to just stand there and watch?!'

He felt the doctors nimble fingers work at the ties on his pants, and in seconds flat she had them undone while her hand slipped in to grasp him firmly. He jumped at the feeling, and shook his head back and forth.

"No, stop-!" The redhead panicked, but it seemed his strangest nightmares were coming to fruition.

"Quit acting like a baby!" The pinkette snapped, and began pumping at him regardless of the fact that he did not want it. Or at least not right this very second.

His body was already going through the motions despite his intense anxiety, he looked over to find the ninja standing against the wall looking at the floor. Her expression was mixed.

"Please leave! I don't want you to see this!" Gaara called out to her, and while she turned her head to look at him her expression remained undecided. She blinked at him, but her eyes remained mixed in whatever feeling was there.

Was it bitterness? Humor? Disgust? Or was it perhaps desire?

"Really? I've seen you naked hundreds of times, and I've also done this for you more times than I can count. Stop acting like a fucking child." His doctor growled at him, and the ninja merely blinked in disbelief at the mirror image of herself.

"Hundreds of times? Wow Gaara, I never figured you to be such a pervert." The real Sakura soured, and he shook his head violently at her statement.

"I don't know why this keeps happening... I didn't plan for this, I swear-!" While he spoke to the kunoichi version it seemed the doctor thought he was talking to her personally.

"Okay, then stop freaking out, and relax. You trust me don't you?" A few more strokes had his lids fluttering, and his heart pounded violently in his chest. His breath heaved before he choked out a whimper, unable to shut out the pleasure he recieved from the beautiful doctor's soft hand.

His eyes shifted back to the kunoichi, and she began flushing a deep shade of red as she continued to watch her image jerk him off.

"Please..." He begged, and as to what he was begging for he couldn't really say. His body started to tingle, the feeling of his erection being handled with such precision had him panting. "Please-!"

Gaara's head tilted back to moan, his eyes clamping shut as a soft thumb ran across the tip of him. He flushed, knowing that he wasn't alone here, yet being completely unable to stop himself from recieving pleasure from it.

The doctor's form moved away from him, but kept her firm grip as she adjusted herself. Hot, and wet lips wrapped around him, forcing him to kick at the bedding.

"Fuck-! S-stop! Please... oh god..." The redhead felt himself melting, and he knew he would hate himself later for it. He gave an almost effeminate sound, his eyes glazing over with an intense lust as his beautiful pinkette doctor sucked, and licked at him.

The kunoichi took a step closer to the scene, watching it happen with a disturbed curiosity.

"No, don't-!" He called out to the ninja, but then a whimper errupted from him, forcing him to turn red with shame.

"Cum for me, please..." The doctor pulled away for a brief moment to beckon him, and while he was already far gone he still went to protest against it.

"I d-don't want to... please-"

"Fine, I'll just have to force you to do it." The pinkette gave a dark smile, returning to her work with even more fire than before.

"Please... don't... watch me... I'm so close..." Gaara moaned again, and he cursed himself for allowing his hips to roll with the intent to climax.

This would ruin any sort of relationship he hoped to have with the kunoichi, he just knew it-

More weight on the bed, and suddenly the other Sakura was there, watching him up close with a sick fascination. Her eyes looked up and down his frame before she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

That had him more confused than he had ever been in his entire life. The other pinkette was suddenly invested in what was happening to him.

"Just finish, it's okay..." The kunoichi soothed him before leaning in to kiss delicately along his neck. He let out a rather loud moan while his hips bucked up ecstasy.

"Sakura... you're too good... too wonderful..." The redhead purred, his lidded eyes on the kunoichi at the moment. He nuzzled his face against the top of her head, unable to keep himself from being affectionate. "I'm s-sorry..."

"Just don't tell anyone what happened here, okay?" Sakura purred into his ear, sending goosebumps across his skin, and shivers down his spine. He tried nodding, but could only tilt his head back to pant and whine as he got closer.

This was a strange phenomenon, there was no doubt about that, but even though it was strange it was also probably one of the best experiences of his life.

"Do you always sound this cute?" The kunoichi giggled breathily against the shell of his ear. He gave a sharp cry, the lips around his length sucked firmly leaving him almost breathless. "Remember, this our secret now, okay? Whatever happens stays here-"

"Yes... yes... yes-" Gaara's eyes started to roll as his lids closed on him. A spark of white heat panged through him as he let out a pitched strangled noise. His body trembled as he started to orgasm. Bucking his hips he felt his length begin to pulse with fluid that quickly filled the doctor's sex swollen mouth. The pinkette swallowed everything he gave to her, and lapped at any remains with her soft heated tongue.

The kunoichi next to him paused with curiosity, watching herself throw back his essence like a drink. A sweet blush hit her cheeks as her mirror image lapped at the residue on his length.

"Not a bad size..." Sakura blinked while staring below his waist. He blushed at her attention, and started to squirm awkwardly.

"Aw, you get so sensitive afterwards... you're so cute." The doctor played with him for a moment, a cheshire grin spreading across her face as she tipped his semi hard erection forward and backwards with one finger.

It was so embarassing, had he been alone with only one of them this would have been fine, but the fact that they were both here was driving him mad. The doctor readjusted him back into his pants, her smile widening at his flushed expression.

"I'll be back with some breakfast. You stay right here, okay?" She giggled before going to stand, and finally took her leave all the while swaying her hips as she left.

Gaara breathed a sigh of relief, but the other Sakura shifted next to him to sit more comfortably.

"So, how long has this been going on? Do you always have sexual fantasies about me-?"

"It's not a fantasy, it's a nightmare. The Sakura in this realm is quite damaged due to a rough childhood that I was apparently apart of." The redhead sighed once more, but didn't fail to notice the off look in the pinkette's eyes.

"Realm? So you don't think this is a dream?" Sakura blinked at him curiously, making him wonder if she actually believed him.

"It's... too real. When I'm in this place it doesn't feel like a dream, and I can fall asleep here as well. I have an entirely different life here, and I can remember almost all of it-"

"What do you mean by 'almost all of it'?" The kunoichi seemed concerned now, but why she felt that way he couldn't say.

"There is a secret in my past, the past I have here, that I have yet to uncover." Gaara answered, his cyan orbs locked onto her jade ones. "I know I killed someone to protect you-er... her... and it landed me into this mess, I just know it."

Sakura shifted uncomfortably, looking around herself before truly studying him. Her hand came up to touch at the canvas fabric that held him hostage.

"This is an asylum... for the insane?" The pinkette thumbed over the straps gently, and his eyes followed her delicate fingers. "You're crazy here, so how do you know if those dreams are even true memories-?"

"Because my doctor tells me they are real." The redhead answered, completely confident.

Her face dropped.

"Gaara, that... other me... she's just as insane as you are. I can tell, trust me." Sakura sighed, giving him a heartbroken expression.

His heart pounded hard like a deep drum, his breath went shallow as he thought everything over. Was this real? Were the memories just caused by manipulation? Was Sakura brainwashing him-?

No, no. She couldn't be. Her reactions to everything, and the amount of detail was too much. There was no way he could be wrong about this.

"No, I'm not being manipulated. This is real." He nodded to himself despite her disbelieving expression. However, he felt there was more to talk about than just what he had been doing here. "How are you even here right now? Did something happen on the other side-?"

"I did a mind transfer jutsu." The kunoichi answered, watching with a smirk as his eyes widened at the fact. "Ino taught me a little bit, but unlike her I can't control anyone or change the way they think. I can only wander around in their thoughts when they are either hypnotized, or unconscious."

As unnerving as that was, her power was indeed limited. Her only strength at this point was observation, and nothing more. With that thought he gave a relieved sigh, leaning back onto the pillows of his bed.

"So you're in my thoughts then? I'm unconscious?" Gaara stared at the florescent white ceiling, frowning at the glaring bulbs.

"Yeah, you had a seizure, and passed out. I checked your brain scans, and the results were strange. It was almost as if you had two brains overlapping each other, and I assumed it was because you were moving around in the machine... but now I'm not so sure..." Sakura shifted awkwardly on the bed, and his eyes turned to her to figure out if something was wrong. Her face began flushing, leaving him even more curious.

"Is everything alright?" The redhead asked, startling her out of a day dream.

"Uh... yeah. How long have you been... um... doing things with her?" She clearly wanted to put separation between her and the other Sakura, and her bashfulness showed with how she tucked her hair behind her ear.

'So it does bother her...' He inwardly cursed at himself for not trying harder to stop the ordeal from happening. His guilt started to weigh on him, even more so with the fact that just last night he had been literally inside the woman.

"Apparently since we were teenagers, but that revelation didn't come back to me until recently. The duration of that poison put me in this place at full awareness, and things just started to spiral out of control." Gaara groaned, and went to put his hands to his face only to realize he was still confined in the damn straitjacket. "Damn this stupid thing-!"

"It's a good look on you. Makes you seem both intimidating, and as harmless as a puppy." Sakura giggled then, making him raise a naked brow at how the situation was humorous to her.

"I can still bite-"

"Oh, please sir, don't bite me!" The pinkette scoffed, and then proceeded to pinch his cheek. Growing irritated by the gesture he ended up snapping his teeth at her, her fingers just barely out of reach. "Hey! Try that again, and I'll put you in one of these back home too-"

"Heh, so you have a thing for it in both worlds I see..." The redhead gave a dark smile, and watched with delight as a shiver seemed to go through her.

"Don't... talk about it. I didn't choose to harass you... the other 'me' did." Sakura blushed hard, avoiding his gaze like the plague before moving to stand. "I think my time is up-"

"Don't leave." The words came out far more desperately than he had initially wanted, and her eyes found his in an instant.

He knew how he must have looked, disheveled and afraid. The worry in her eyes told him a thousand fold.

"I'm going to try to wake you from the other side. Please don't worry." The pinkette gave him a warm smile, and went to make a handsign.

"Does this change anything between us?" Gaara blurted before she could finish, watching as her smile dropped. Her eyes moved to the floor then, unable to look at him.

"No, but what happens here... stays here. Do you understand?" Her words cut him. He knew what she meant by it.

'There's not a chance in hell that anything could ever happen between us on the other side... it's too late now.' The redhead finally nodded, and with a heavy heart he watched as she made her signals then disappeared in a flash.

\- ... - ... -

The day had gone by slowly, but the doctor had noticed his strange behavior throughout it. He never told her what had actually happened, as he knew she would never believe him. Yet, his heart was in turmoil over the guilt he felt for the kunoichi.

'She must despise me for succumbing to this Sakura's wiles. Had it been the other way around...' Gaara thought deep on it. Had their situations been reversed, with Sakura in his shoes instead, he wondered if he would actually be bitter about it.

He quickly realized that the answer was 'no'. If anything he would have been flattered despite the content. Then again, he had found Sakura to be a beautiful girl from the start...

He knew it when he was thirteen too, when he first saw her. She was having an argument with Naruto and some other kids when Kankuro and Temari decided to mess with them. He had been watching the whole time. He remembered how angry she seemed to be, and yet her appearance screamed rainbows and sunshine. He liked the aesthetic of an innocent appearance, with an enraged disposition as it reminded him of himself.

Gaara may have an intimidating face, but it was also childlike at times especially back then. Yet despite this fact, it was more so his behavior that deemed him frightening rather than his exotic features.

He had frightened her quite a bit back then too... he wondered if their circumstances would be different had he made a kinder first impression rather than just appearing with a scowl.

"Goodnight, Gaara." Sakura pecked him on the lips, startling him out of his deeper thoughts.

"You're leaving?" The redhead looked around him, noticing that he was back in his room, but thankfully he wasn't wearing the damn straitjacket any longer.

"Yeah, I've got paperwork to do. I do have other patients, you know?" The pinkette doctor winked at him, making him blush at the selfish thought that she was here for him.

She had a job, she was a doctor, not his personal caretaker.

"Alright, I'll read then, maybe catch some sleep." He nodded to her, and was a bit shocked when she moved in for a deeper kiss.

Gaara melted behind her soft lips, taking in her scent greedily before his hands went to hold her, but she slipped out of his grasp before he could succeed.

"Tomorrow. Until then, I love you." Sakura murmured, and his eyes went wide at the declaration. She didn't wait for his response as she quickly turned to take her leave.

She already knew how he felt, she just enjoyed teasing him to no end.

The redhead sighed, and made his way to the bed. With his bedside lamp he was able to read a bit of this world's poetry, it was left to him by the good doctor. He flipped to a random page finding a poem titled simply a name; Annabelle Lee.

"It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of ANNABEL LEE;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me."

Gaara smiled, already warmed by the thought that this was a poem of love.

"I was a child and she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea;

But we loved with a love that was more than love-

I and my Annabel Lee;

With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

Coveted her and me."

"And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

My beautiful Annabel Lee;

So that her highborn kinsman came

And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulchre

In this kingdom by the sea..."

The redhead's smile dropped, he knew what a sepulchre was. It was a tomb, and the loved character of this poem was now dead.

"The angels, not half so happy in heaven,

Went envying her and me-

Yes! That was the reason, as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea,

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee."

"But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we-

Of many far wiser than we-

And neither the angels in heaven above,

Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee."

"For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,

In the sepulchre there by the sea,

In her tomb by the sounding sea..."

Gaara dropped the book in his lap, staring off into the distance over the content of the poem. Was the poet... did he...?

"This world... is insane." The redhead put the book back on the nightstand, and with a groan he leaned back against his pillows to fall asleep.

However, the poem resounded in his head as he drifted away.

'And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride in the sepulchre there by the sea,

In her tomb by the sounding sea...'

'In her tomb... by the sounding sea...'

 **AN: Sorry for the long update, I had a major blockage on this fic but I finally figured my way around it. Hope you guys still like the story, please review. I really do love it when you guys review :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: Alright, so these next chapters were difficult to write. Just letting you know. A little Sasuke bashing here but it felt needed here. I needed some close, yet also can sway into being a shitty person so Sasuke was perfect. Enjoy.**

Leaves crunched against his feet as he treaded through the darkness. It was a cool night, but that was to be expected in May, especially at such a late hour.

He had gone to see her, sneaking in through her window like he had the last five times before. He was always careful, knowing when his father and hers were going to be out on one of their side jobs before going over to her place. He hadn't gotten caught yet, but he knew he couldn't do this forever.

But he couldn't stay away, he just couldn't. Being locked in her arms meant the world to him, even more than his own health and safety. He knew it would be a problem since he was brought to her home that fateful day.

That day that left him in a hospital for a week. Kankuro and Temari tried to reason with him to stay with them, find another school, have a healthier life. He declined, knowing it would only take him further away from Sakura. He would rather face wrath in the lions den then be away from her for another second.

However, this didn't mean he was there letting his father beat the shit out of him. Oh no, he was plotting and planning diligently for their escape. In fact, the man hadn't raised a fist at him once since he came back, and hardly talked to him.

Kankuro had thoroughly kicked their father's ass, and Gaara was grateful for it. It seemed to have shut him up for now.

The redhead went to open the sliding glass door in the basement, but oddly found it to be locked. Without much thought on how it happened, the teen lifted the sliding door by the handle to unhook the lock mechanism. It was the easiest way to break into someone's home if they didn't put down a bar behind the actual door itself. He almost laughed at how simple it was-

"You're back late."

Gaara froze. The blood drained from his face at the realization that he had been caught breaking into his own basement. He turned his head slowly to the right, allowing his eyes to search first before turning too far.

Rasa was there. The intimidating man was sitting in a chair in the pitch dark, the only strong light was that from his cigarette as he inhaled it deeply.

"Where have you been?" The smoke billowed out into the slight streetlight pollution from the windows, but it was just barely visible.

"Nowhere, I went on a walk-"

"A walk where, Gaara?" His father's tone demanded respect, and truth, but his son was not going to play into that tonight.

"I went on the nature trail, nothing more." Gaara took a step inside, and closed the sliding door confidently behind him. "I didn't think that would be an issue-"

"It's an issue when you do it so late at night. You should be sleeping, so why aren't you?" Rasa's voice spoke just above a whisper, but it was still intimidating.

"I have insomnia-"

"Really? I didn't realize that having insomnia included nasty habits."

The teen froze up again, wondering if he had truly been caught. He had been so careful, watching to make sure Rasa was gone before he snuck out, and checking the area before breaking into Sakura's house-

"I have no clue what you're talking about." The redhead tried to sound apathetic, and prayed that the man couldn't see how pale the his face had gone.

"Do you love her, Gaara? Does she love you?"

The world went horribly quiet. His hands started shaking before he could control the action, and by the time he found enough focus he felt his stomach lurch with a desire to vomit.

"I'm not seeing anyone-"

"Sakura is a beautiful girl, isn't she? So fresh, full of life, and she smells so sweet... I can see why you can't stop yourself despite the danger. Women are so cruel creatures." Rasa stood up, and as he stepped towards his son the teen felt his world start to tilt. A large hand grabbed his shoulder, pressing on it while the older man leaned in to speak right into his ear.

"A woman will always be a man's downfall. They are our weakness, especially after they've opened up our hardened hearts." Rasa poked at the boy's sternum. "I know she unlocked yours, didn't she, boy?"

Gaara couldn't breathe, he couldn't speak, and he couldn't move. What was he supposed to do now?

Submit, submit and let his father own him just so that she could have a chance. That was his only answer now. He had to protect her, no matter what.

"What do you want from me?" The redhead asked outright, and the man began bellowing with laughter. Rasa tapped his son's cheek teasingly before straightening up to look him over.

"Invite her over for dinner, introduce me properly." The man gave a sinister smile, putting the redhead on edge.

"I wont let you hurt her-"

"I wouldn't dream of hurting Sakura, she's a good girl, a beautiful girl. However, I could easily call up Tanaka, and tell him what's been going on behind his back." Rasa grinned further, putting his son in a difficult position. Yet, he believed the man was telling the truth about not wanting to hurt her, and if it was just Gaara getting the brunt then he didn't mind him talking with her.

Sakura knew both of them, and she loved the redhead. So he was not scared of anything his father had to say.

"Fine. Saturday... I'll have her over for dinner." Gaara felt himself deflate, any form of confidence disappeared after he let the man have his way.

"Good. Now get your degenerate ass to bed." Rasa gave the teen a hard shove, then turned to go back upstairs.

When the shadow of his father had finally disappeared the redhead slumped to the floor in a shivering heap. He clenched over his heart, and attempted to learn how to breathe again.

\- ... - ... - ... -

"I can't believe it..." Sakura murmured, leaning back against Gaara on the forest floor outside of their school. He had sat upright against a tree with her in between his open legs.

"I'm shocked he didn't call your step dad..." The redhead played with her pink locks, enjoying their softness. The air was chilled, yet damp, and the sky was overcast.

"Rasa is kind to me, he always has been, but the way he treats you is sick." The pinkette held his arms that were wrapped lovingly around her waist. Despite the attention she seemed a bit closed off.

"Is something wrong?" Gaara asked, and was answered with a long pause.

"I... Rasa... he-"

"Hey, Haruno!" A voice broke the quietness around them, and a dark haired teen came stomping over. They scrambled out of their positions to get to standing, but it was already too late.

"Oh, hi Sasuke-!" Sakura went into a false chipper attitude, but it was quickly brushed away from his scoff.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at home, working on our project?" Sasuke hissed, not being shy when it came to glaring at the redhead. "I didn't think you and the no-brow wonder were fucking around-"

"We're not." Gaara leered at the dark haired teen, recieving a curious look in response.

"Why don't you take your ugly mug elsewhere? I have business with Sakura." The brunette sneered, then grabbed hold of said girls wrist. "Come on, we're going-"

"Like hell you are, let go of her!" The redhead was quick to rip the offending hand away from her, and recieved the full attention of the Uchiha in the process.

"My dad is chief of police, touch me again and you'll be arrested-"

"You think that will stop me from murdering your ass? Think again-"

"BOYS!" Sakura stomped her foot in frustration, getting confused looks from both parties. "Enough! Sasuke, I'll help you with the project now, but-"

"I'm not doing it. You're supposed to do it." The brunette bit, but recieved a withering look from the pinkette.

"I already have an above average grade, I can easily fail this project and still pass the class. Either you help, or you fail. Your choice." Sakura was ruthless, and yet it was a huge turn on. The redhead was so proud of her for not letting the piece of shit walk all over her.

"Fine. Let's go." Sasuke eventually caved, and started walking back up the hill towards the school. Sakura went to follow, but was snatched up by Gaara's wrist.

"Be careful, I don't trust him." The redhead frowned, but then his heart started to pound as she turned to fully face him. She stepped closer, wrapping her arms around his neck before placing a kiss on his lips.

Gaara melted, his hands wandered her frame only to be denied the pleasure of holding her for long. With a warm smile she left him there in the woods.

He didn't wait there. He followed just far enough to keep a close eye on her. Through the school even, he hovered like a watchful wolf.

Sakura and Sasuke worked on their project in the library, and on more than one occasion the redhead caught the Uchiha looking at her the wrong way. The brunette had even at one point flicked the pencil across the table, refusing to go after it. The pinkette groaned, standing and bending over the table to grab the writing tool leaving her backside visible for Sasuke to appreciate.

Gaara's blood was boiling, but he knew if he did anything now it would screw a lot of things up for both him and Sakura. He had to keep his cool, at least for her sake.

They finished the project in a short amount of time, and the damned Uchiha had decided to walk with her even into the woods. It seemed that Sakura was on a path to find Gaara again, which only led him to believe that she was uncomfortable at the moment.

"Hey, stop walking." Sasuke grabbed hard at the pinkette's wrist, turning her around with a jerk of his hand. "Let's hang out for a bit-"

"I'd rather not..." Sakura stated it plainly, much to Gaara's amusement, but it seemed that the brunette didn't find it the least bit funny.

"You had better do as I say, or I can make your life a living hell." The Uchiha threatened, but the pinkette scoffed it away.

"What, you're going to beat me up-?"

"I don't beat women, not even whores like you."

Sakura went pale then, and the boy started laughing.

"You think the police don't know what you're doing?! You should be happy your ass isn't in jail right now! In fact-" Sasuke pulled her painfully hard until her chest collided with his own. A look of fear washed over her instantly. "Suck me off, and I won't tell a soul."

There was no answer from her, only widened eyes as Gaara came charging in like an enraged bull. As his fist connected with the boys face he felt the bone give way to the pressure. It hurt his hand too, but he was so far gone that he no longer felt pain, all he felt was an untamed anger.

Sasuke's body hit the ground already unconscious, but it left the other teen unsatisfied. He continued to pummel him, and attempted to strangle him before Sakura finally came to the brunette's rescue.

"GAARA, STOP!" The pinkette shouted in warning, and it just barely made him aware of what he was doing.

He pulled away quickly, looking at the hands that almost murdered a defenseless teenager. Sasuke was out cold, and probably would be for the next hour.

"Forgive me... Sakura... I just couldn't let him-"

"It's okay, Gaara. I understand, and I'm glad you came." The pinkette let out an exhale that she seemed to have been holding in. The redhead kept his eyes on the unconscious boy, wondering what would happen now that he had messed with the tiger's cub.

He assumed hell would ensue, and prepared his body and mind for it the entire walk home.

\- ... - ... -

"So that's what happened? Are you alright?"

Gaara's ears perked up from the kitchen, listening to his father speaking on the phone in the living room.

"Yeah, his father called me. Apparently the boy has a broken cheek bone, I'm surprised Gaara had the strength to land such a blow." Rasa murmured gently into the phone, but the redhead was even more curious as to who he was talking to.

Gaara peeked around the open doorway, viewing the back of his father's head as he sat calmly in his leather chair. A thick, green glass ashtray shined the incandescent light of old lamps on the antique wooden coffee table in front of him.

"I'm surprised you called. Does your father know you're talking to me?"

The redhead widened his eyes as he filled in the missing pieces.

'Why is she talking to him-?'

"You want me to go easy on him? Ha! To be honest I'm actually proud of him for once. About time he laid someone out for the 'right' reason. I'm just glad you weren't hurt, or... at least not physically." Rasa took a long drag of his cigarette before giving a soft smokey chuckle. "Don't worry, he won't be punished for it. A sweet girl like you needs a good white knight, and I'm glad my boy could help."

Gaara swallowed hard now, being consistantly reminded that his girlfriend was currently having a casual conversation with his abusive dad.

"Don't worry about Sasuke, he won't be talking about it ever again, I assure you. I already took care of it. You know I wont let anything bad happen to you- now hold on, yes I know. I know that, but you have to understand that I urged your father to get rid of those patrons."

The redhead widened his eyes at that fact, his hands shaking as they clung to the door frame.

'He... he helped her?'

"Okay, but when was the last time you serviced someone? Not since I was over there with Gaara, right? I handled it. You don't have to worry about ever doing it again. Has Tanaka touched you at all?"

Gaara couldn't believe what he was hearing, his own scum of a father was saving his girlfriend? This couldn't be real. It couldn't be-

"If he touches you again, call me. I already made an agreement with him, and he's not supposed to be doing that..."

There was a long pause, and the redhead could vaguely hear a voice from the receiver of the phone even from where he was standing.

"Don't cry. Everything is okay, you can rest easy now. You know I don't like it when you cry... yes, I understand, I know it hurts you. Yes. No. No, he doesn't know. He won't find out." Rasa soothed the girl on the other end of the line, hushing her until it seemed that she had calmed. "Alright, I'm going to go now. I'll talk to you soon. Yeah. Bye, sweetheart."

The room went painfully silent, the man taking a long drag off his cigarette as he hung up the phone. With a slight shift he exhaled some words with the smoke.

"Gaara, I know you're there."

Gaara froze up, his whole form going rigid at the sound of his name.

"Come in here, let's have a chat." Rasa ran his hand through his hair, and surprisingly waited patiently for his son to obey him. The redhead treaded carefully into the living room, sitting on the dusty old gold couch adjacent to his father's favorite leather chair. The man took another drag, eyeing his son with great scrutiny before letting out the smoke in a large plume.

"I just got off the phone with Sakura, however I had a call earlier from the chief of police... he wasn't too happy, but he understood why his son got an ass beating. I had to pull some strings, but you're off the hook."

"Thank you, sir." Gaara bowed his head in gratitude, but the gruff man continued to study him.

"You're a good kid, and I've been a shitty father to you, I realize that. I want you to understand that my undying love for Karura made me find whatever outlet I could to rid myself of that pain... and I found a lot of outlets that I am not proud of. You and Sakura remind me a lot of your mother and I, and if there is one thing I understand it's love for a woman. I loved your mother so much..." Rasa gave a shaking exhale, and for the first time in Gaara's life he saw a genuine mourning emotion cross his father's features.

"She loved you more than her own existence, and she knew about her health before you were born... promising me to love you after she was gone. I broke that promise... I hated you. I blamed you. Even now there is still anger in my heart over something that you had no control over... and I am sorry for that." The man looked more weathered than usual, the wrinkles along his eyes showing his age now more than ever.

"I am trying to make up for it. The abuse... my rage... I've known Sakura for a long time, since Tanaka started dating her mother, she was a cute kid. It was a shame what that idiot did to her, and I'm trying to right that wrong as well." He took another anxious drag of his cigarette before putting it out. "Her eyes remind me of your mother's, she deserves to be protected, and cherished. She's such a good girl, Gaara. I'm not surprised you two fell in love. She's an angel."

Gaara sat in wide eyed silence, absorbing that immense storm of information his father was feeding him. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, wondering just where this was going to go.

Could he truly forgive the man, even if he changed? Part of him wanted that more than anything, part of him had reluctantly loved his father all these years. Now the realization that his father might love him too was beginning to break his careful hold he had on his sanity.

"I want that girl to stay safe, so I'm going to ask Tanaka if she can live here with us." Rasa made eye contact with his son, dark cold eyes meeting disbelieving cyan ones. "Is that alright with you-?"

"Yes!" Gaara felt the word leave him desperately, and his father gave a slight smirk in response to it.

"Alright. Let's save the princess then." The older man gave a genuine smile that warmed the room.

This had to be a dream, he couldn't believe this was real, but it was real. It was happening. His life was turning around.

A normal life with the woman he loved, a normal life with a loving father. This was what he had always wanted, what he had dreamed of. He just couldn't believe it was happening now.

\- ... - ... - ... -

All of her stuff was packed up in the car, and the pinkette was now in the backseat grinning ear to ear. Gaara sat with her, holding her hand excitedly as he watched his father talk with Tanaka.

The most peculiar thing happened then, Rasa pulled out a large wad of cash and counted the money out in front of the sleazy man.

One. Five. Ten. Twenty. Fifty... He lost track after that because of how fast his father's fingers went through the cash. Upon closer inspection he noticed how large the bills were themselves.

Hundred dollar bills... ever single one of them. There had to be at least over a thousand in the hefty stack.

'No, wait-'

Rasa pulled out another stack of cash, over which the teen could tell the amount per wad was around five thousand per stack now. After counting it he pulled out two more stacks, the rounded math telling him that his father had just forked up twenty thousand dollars.

Gaara felt completely numb all over.

"He just bought you..." The redhead blanched, not really knowing what it meant. Sakura merely nodded, as if she had known all along what the terms of her freedom were. His cyan orbs were trained on her, trying hard to figure out whatever she was keeping from him. "Is there another reason as to why you're coming to live with us?"

'Would Sakura actually allow herself to become Rasa's slave over being Tanaka's slave?' His mind raced, but her demeanor remained calm despite his internal chaos.

"Rasa cares about my health and safety. I've told you before that he's always been kind to me... there is no other reason for it." The pinkette laced her fingers with his pale ones, clenching them lovingly. "I love you, Gaara. Till death do us part, and beyond if possible."

The driver's side door opened, breaking up whatever moment they were currently having, and Rasa situated himself in the drivers seat. He turned the key, and backed out until he hit the country road. The world passed by in a blur, but the one thing that kept Gaara aware was the sound of her soft crying.

"Thank you. Oh god, thank you." Sakura whimpered, and clung to her beloved for life.

Both of the men stayed perfectly silent, letting her properly mourn the loss of a good chunk of her life while simultaneously blessing the world around her for the salvation she had been given.

He just hoped that it would stay good like this for ever.

\- ... - ... - ... -

A drug overdose.

Gaara laughed at how fortunate this was, yet so poorly timed. Tanaka had died of a drug overdose, not to mention the drugs he injected had been cut dirty. Mebuki, Sakura's mother, had found him sprawled out on the couch with a needle in his arm. However, the police then refused for Sakura to come back into her care until she could prove that she herself was sober for at least three months. Odd terms, and poor timing indeed. Where were the police when Tanaka was alive?

At any rate, he was glad the disgusting fuck was dead. He just wished he could have done it himself.

Life had been going well for him, and Sakura. Rasa mostly kept to himself with the exception of 'family dinners', to which he demanded everyone be present for, but other than that there wasn't much to report. School had finished up, summer had arrived, and the redhead was literally living with his girlfriend. Life couldn't be sweeter.

Gaara came in with some groceries, and his usual smile plastered on his face. He was smiling a lot these days-

Crying. Someone was crying in the house, but why?

Gentle steps, avoiding the creaking floorboards he knew so well he made it up the old staircase. There was a dust hanging in the air, along with the haze of leftover cigarette smoke. He treaded so carefully, and so quietly, following the haunting sound that bounced around in the hall drenched in early twilight. It was a woman, or a child. That was for certain.

He made it across the carpet runner on the wooden floor, but as he came closer to the door he felt his heart start to pound painfully. As if it were being squeezed to bits inside his ribcage.

Another step, the clearer the sounds, the more his stomach churned with dread.

"Stop- please-" He could hear it so faintly, but he knew the voice better than anyone else could. It sounded rough, as if injured... or strangled.

Gaara reached the door... listening closely to the sounds on the other side...

Sakura was crying.

... And someone was hushing her.

 **AN: That calm before the storm moment, it's a frightening thing.**

 **Next chapter was one of the most difficult things I have ever written, and also made me, the writer, feel sick to my stomach.**

 **I'm just going to say it here... if you fear any sort of act or thought that a disturbed human being can possess do not read the next chapter. Stop here.**

 **If you are easily queasy, stop here.**

 **If you are triggered by anything at all, please stop here.**

 **Please review, and thank you for reading.**


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Multiple disturbing trigger warnings, too many to really count. Extremely explicit on all counts, read at your own discretion.**

 **Also, italics are for memories and emphasis. Bold is also for emphasis.**

The smell of cigarette smoke was strong, the early twilight burned his retinas as it reflected off the floor in a blood red color. His ears were ringing, but he could hear her crying on the other side, begging someone to stop whatever they were doing.

Begging. Begging for it to stop. Crying out like a beaten animal.

He breathed deep, yet couldn't get oxygen to his brain.

Furniture was being repeatedly bumped against... a desk perhaps...

Yes, that old antique desk that belonged to his grandfather. He remembered the earthy scent it carried, and the smooth polished wood against his little fingers as a child-

 _Scrape. Scrape. Scrape._ All over the wooden floorboards.

His blood was cold and hot, his breathing hard and quiet, his mind in and out of reality as he took in the moment.

Whatever was happening it was hurting her. Hurting the girl-

Hurting his girl-

 _"Did it hurt?"_

 _"Did what hurt?" She barked defensively, and he met her gaze with interest while absentmindedly running his thumb along the bruise._

 _"When this person raped you."_

Gaara tried to remain rational, but he knew- he _fucking knew_ what was happening on the other side of that old wooden door.

"Stop! NO! GAARA HEL-mmm!" He could hear her clear as day, her scream being muffled by a firm scolding hand. A hand that he was certain had struck more than a few faces in its lifetime. His heart leapt in his chest, then sank into his stomach.

 _"It hurt...it...h-hurt..." Her breathing was erratic, and he could tell she was hyperventilating. Strangely, he didn't like that. It almost hurt him to watch her do that with her body._

"You stupid girl! How dare you call out his name... how fucking dare you!"

 _"You'll never satisfy a woman if you don't learn. Not that you'll get anywhere with one anyways, but it would be good to know just in case you find a girl who's crazy enough to let you take her to bed."_

'God no...'

 _"Her eyes remind me of your mother's, she deserves to be protected, and cherished. She's such a good girl, Gaara. I'm not surprised you two fell in love. She's an angel."_

 _"She's an angel."_

The redhead felt bile rise up in his throat, but he swallowed it back down as a few tears threatened to leave his eyes. His breath was tight at the realization of who was raping her. He had never felt so sick-

"What the fuck does he have that I don't?! He's my fucking useless son! A worthless murdering woman stealer!" A few grunts were made, the furniture rocked, and Sakura screamed behind his punishing hand.

 _"I am trying to make up for it. The abuse... my rage..._ "

"I loved you first... I had you first- why are you shaking your head?! WHY!? TELL ME-"

 _"I hated you. I blamed you. Even now there is still anger in my heart over something that you had no control over... and I am sorry for that."_

'I'm your son... I'm your child... how could you do this...'

"I've been with Gaara since before I met you..." The pinkette's voice croaked with exhaustion, and yet also held disdain. "I had sex with him long before I had sex with you... and continued to do so all this time-"

CRACK.

Gaara heard Sakura shriek, and sob after the fact. His entire body started to buzz with something, simmering dangerously under the surface while his mind attempted again and again to reboot to no avail.

 _It was going so fast, all he could do was breathe sharply through his nose, and twitch his hands. "Hey...sssh...it's okay. It won't hurt you, it only hurts me."_

'My father... my father... father...'

His hand went into his pocket for his trusted hunting knife without thinking, and he placed a shaking clammy pale hand on the doorknob.

"You FUCKING BITCH! FUCKING WHORE-!"

'Why would you... why...'

"The only... reason I... slept with you... was because... I was ordered... to..." The pinkette groaned in pain, her voice seemed to be tightened. "I... slept... with... Gaa... ra... bec-cau...se... I... love... hi-"

SMASH.

 _She ran her fingers along the scar on his forehead before locking her shadowed jade eyes on his haunting gaze._

 _"I love you."_

Something made of glass hit the ground, and Gaara used the noise to open the door without being noticed. He found it to be an old lamp shattered across the wooden floor, but...

 _Tears ran in a continuous stream down her face as she quickly covered herself. It were as if she were ashamed._

 _"You weren't...supposed...to see...this!"_

His eyes were purely focused on the figure of his father, thrusting into Sakura in a painful display on the desk.

 _"I love you, Gaara."_

Pupils dilated. Ears ringing. Skin buzzing. An eerie calm washed over him.

It became so quiet in his mind.

The older man's hand was on her throat, choking her out to the point that her face had gone red, gasping, and her words had gone silent.

'Rasa... father... demon... monster-'

"Fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU LYING BITCH! FUCK GAARA! FUCK EVERYTHING! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU RIGHT NOW-!"

Silence.

The room had gone quiet for a brief moment that seemed to have slowed down time.

So serene... so gentle...

Something clattered to the floor, falling from the redheads trembling wet fingers.

A perfect ending.

How he was suddenly behind the man, he didn't know. Gaara didn't even remember walking up to him...

The seraphs sang their chords; peace on earth, and good will towards m-

Rasa sputtered as a red liquid escaped him, his dark eyes wide as he suddenly held his hands to his gushing throat.

'Father.'

He gaped like a fish, the slit opening the more he panicked, and yet he still tried to mouth the teen's name as he turned to face him.

'You were supposed-'

His face turned pale, marbled veins, his body red with the fountain he produced. A crimson fluid, aqua vitae...

'-to love me.'

Even more humiliating was the fact that his pants were undone, and his body was revealed in a disturbing way. His now flaccid genitals out for the world to see as he bled to death.

 _"You're mother loved you-"_

"Rot in hell." The vengeful son stared emotionless at the dying man, wishing that he could make him suffer for even longer.

Rasa stumbled. He fell. He stopped moving. His body laid sprawled out in a puddle of blackish red that continued to grow as long as the blood continued to flow.

'How sweet, I made a rhyme for you, daddy-'

Gaara kicked his head, noting that the man was completely and utterly dead as the neck seemed to give a sickening crack from the impact.

He was dead. Rasa was dead. Never to wake up ever again.

The redhead moved then, quickly and silently up to Sakura. His eyes took in her ripped clothing, her disheveled appearance, her swollen eyes and bruised cheek. He saw the blood covering her milky flesh, and focused in on her partially exposed form.

 _"PLEASE STOP!"_

It kept replaying, how Rasa was pounding into her, grunting as he got what he wanted from her.

 _"GAARA! HELP ME!"_

Fucking her relentlessly. Fucking her. Fucking her. Fucking her. **FUCKING HER-**

 _"I had sex with him long before I had sex with you..."_

Gaara adjusted his belt unconsciously, and in a daze pulled out an erection he didn't realize he had.

Silence.

There was no internal monologue anymore attempting to guide him down any sort of path. He saw red, literally, and was no longer in his right mind.

Quiet. Ears still ringing so painfully.

He entered her, and she whimpered fearfully, but said nothing. His body moved on it's own accord, slamming his hips hard into her wet heat as he place a firm hand over her heart.

" **You... are... mine...** " The words came out in a gutteral growl, but she did not answer, she merely accepted everything without question.

Unsatisfied by her lack of reaction, he hooked an arm around her waist arching her slightly so that he could go deeper. Her eyes were on his, crying in what looked like sorrow, but her voice began to ring true.

 _"I love you, Gaara."_

He fucked her as hard as he physically could, and felt her back nearly contort as she gave a near blood curdling scream. Her nails clawed into his bare arms, drawing more blood to spread across them both. The blood dripped down in red trails down his alabaster skin, pooling at the hand he had planted firmly over her heart and dripping off the elbow of the one he had around her waist.

 _"I love you-"_

The desk was shaking like it had before, only it was Gaara fucking her, not Rasa. Not Rasa. NOT RASA. GAARA.

 _"-Gaara." Sakura smiled._

Sakura was crying again.

" **HE CAN'T HAVE YOU! I WON'T LET HIM!** " The redhead screamed in a voice that sounded demonic in nature, and he could tell how much it frightened her.

He was still going strong even as he came, in fact the intense orgasm barely made him flinch as it stampeded through him. The only sound he gave was a white hot groan through gritted teeth. It wasn't until his vision started to blur did he even begin to slow down.

Wet. Like rain filling his eyelids, only they dropped from his eyes and fell onto the bloody hand over her heart.

All he could feel was pain. There was no relief, or happiness, or fear, or anger...

Only an all consuming pain that left him sobbing wildly above her, tears drenching her chest as he shattered into a million pieces.

"Sakura... how could you sleep with him...? We both have been... inside you now..." Gaara heaved, his heart breaking in a million places, then filling up with disgust. "You enjoyed it... didn't you? Fucking my father-"

"I didn't! I swear on my life-!"

"Swear on mine- YOU SWEAR ON MINE! IT'S EASIER TO JUST DIE, SAKURA! SO I WANT YOU TO SWEAR ON SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL SHAME, AND GUILT UNTIL YOUR LAST FUCKING BREATH!" Gaara screamed like a monster a mere centimeters away from her face, his rage overtaking him as he sunk further into madness.

He wanted to hit her. God he wanted to beat the absolute shit out of her until her cock sucking face was unrecognizable-

 _"When I see your dad, I start to miss you, but I know I can't come find you. They can't know about us, and our secret."_

Gaara raised his fist at her-

 _"Am I disgusting to you-?"_

The redhead paused, the striking hand held up for her to clearly see with disbelieving eyes.

 _"No. You could be tainted beyond redemption, and I would still love you." Gaara brushed some hair away from her eyes, and just like him she blinked out a few tears._ _ **"I love you now, and I'll continue to love you even after I'm dead."**_

The world turned, his body separated from her as he stumbled about in a daze. He accidentally kicked his father's corpse, and the revelation of what he had done had whatever sickness that threatened him before come up without mercy. He rushed out into the hall, but couldn't make it anywhere before he released the contents of his stomach all over the hallway floor.

His whole face felt like it was leaking. Vomiting, drooling, and crying...

As he looked down he noticed his own indecency, along with the blood that covered his genitals.

Was it his? Was it hers? Was it Rasa's?

Gaara heaved again, another wave of vomit spilling onto the floorboards heavy, and wet.

He adjusted himself back into his pants, his vision tilting as he made his way to the stairs. His first step had the world turning, everything rushing past with pounding physical pain as he fell down them. He landed in a mangled heap on the floor.

It was then when everything broke down, and the space around him squashed and stretched like a circus fun mirror.

He started to laugh hysterically, blood blinding him as he smashed his own head against the floorboards.

 _CRACK. CRACK. CRACK._

The pain thrummed inside him despite his insanity, but he pushed through it despite the colorful warnings behind his flinching eyelids.

"I want to die... someone... just fucking **KILL ME** -!"

 _CRACK._

 _CRUNCH._

 _SQUISH._

 _SLAP._

"GAARA STOP IT-!" Footsteps rushed down the staircase... her voice screaming at him...

She was screaming. Screaming as if she were truly dying...

As if he were truly dying...

Black. Everything went black after that.

\- ... - ... - ... - ... -

"I didn't kn-know who else t-to call..."

A small feminine voice cried frantically in the darkness, spilling her guts out to someone.

Whoever it was listened to every word, the entire story was on replay.

How they met, their promises to each other, their struggles, their love... their downfall. Everything had an image, and all of them were now tainted by Rasa's cigarette smell and harsh eyes.

Tainted. Tainted. _Tainted_.

"Hey, it's okay. We're going to fix this. No one will ever know about it-" A male voice comforted her, and it sounded so incredibly familiar. "We have to get rid of the evidence in a way that doesn't seem like a murder. I say we place the body on the couch, make it look like the ashtray lit on fire when he was drunk. We'll burn everything."

"Kankuro... are you sure about this? What about Gaara? He's... in pieces-"

Now it was clear. His siblings once again came to the rescue.

"We'll say that I came over right in the middle of the fire. I couldn't find dad, but Gaara had fallen down the stairs trying to escape, and cracked his head real good." Kankuro seemed to have an elaborate game plan, almost as if he had thought on this type of scenario before. "Get him clean, change his clothes so that dad's blood ain't on them, then we'll start getting everything ready to burn."

Gaara passed out then, but felt his body be moved a few times regardless.

Time had passed. It was late at night, and everyone in the neighborhood was asleep. He knew this because when he cracked open his eyes the house was already halfway burnt down... and he was laying on Kankuro's lap with a pitch black sky above him.

Temari and Sakura were gone. Probably going to roll up later with some sort of alibi.

The redhead blinked as he watched the flames consume everything. His hopes, his dreams of a normal life...

That promise of actually having a real family. Gone. Haunted. Stained.

Sirens, and lights arrived on the scene after a frantic call to nine-one-one. Kankuro's acting was good, and Gaara's was fine as it was... because it was real.

The hit to his head... it did something...

He drifted into a deep sleep...

"Gaara?"

His blackened lids opened after what felt like weeks of sleep, his body already seeming to be in an upright position.

He turned, and a comforting smile greeted him.

"Gaara." The boy said warmly, his blue eyes holding relief in their watery gaze.

Gaara was alive. He was where he belonged. Surrounded by the people he loved so much. His people he had fought to protect along with Naruto, and all of their shinobi friends.

An elderly woman lay dead in the arms of a familiar kunoichi, Sakura.

The dead woman... was Granny Chiyo.

 **AN: Thank you for reading this, I had to pull from some very dark places in my heart and mind in able to write this piece. I am proud of it, despite the disgusting content. I hope you found it to be a more artistic display rather than just frantic pacing.**

 **Review, let me know how it made you feel, or what your general thoughts are. Thank you.**


End file.
